Two Yankees fans tried to make off with bunting from Yankee Stadium’s final season Tuesday and were promptly arrested for their troubles. Yankees COO Leon Trost laid down the law: “This type of destructive behavior will not be tolerated from the first game of the season through the last.”

(The new Yankee Stadium (under construction))

You tell ‘em, Leon! After all, you’re the professional at this. That bunting has to be saved along with all the seats, concessions, and anything not nailed down too tightly for sale to Yankees fans whose financial sense has been overwhelmed by their affection for a corporation. They’ve proven they’ll pay top dollar for tickets this season; imagine what they’ll pay for a used nacho cheese machine!

Crass decoration theft has to be below the Yankees organization. Instead, try ignoring basic maintenance on the current park until everyone agrees the structure cannot be salvaged and must be tossed aside for a two billion dollar baby, complete with new statuary. When the bill comes due for the new toy, point at New York City taxpayers while successfully stifling your giggles.

Sorry, Yankees fans; leave the stealing to the rich. You know you’re a pro when you don’t even have to ask your fans to get their cash in now if they want to be allowed to look at the brochure that describes the Web site that has the information on where to send their first born to be allowed to reserve the right to buy season tickets at the new Stadium. Enjoy your fill of Jason Giambi until then!