Wolves ‘Mayor’ Brings Teddy Bear to Draft Lottery

Fred Hoiberg, known as ‘The Mayor’ during his college days at Iowa State, has been mostly retired from his NBA playing days since open-heart surgery in 2005. As an assistant GM for the Minnesota Timberwolves, we imagine most of his days are spent trying to explain to Kevin McHale that he can’t trade Al Jefferson to the Stop’n'Go clerk for a package of fruit Mentos and a Turpee.

Fred Hoiberg and Matthew Gamber

While we will be careful to not pretend to know the man despite following his career as it wound through the Midwest, we will emphatically grant that Fred Hoiberg has committed to delivering 100 metric tons of awesome to the NBA draft lottery in the form of a lucky teddy bear usually carried into surgery by his friend, a 12-year-old ‘Wolves fan that has undergone over 100 surgeries.

Hoiberg invited the young man, Matthew Gamber, to three games last season, all ‘Wolves wins. (Considering they won 22 all season, that’s quite the mojo.) Therefore, Hoiberg will take the bear with him to improve McHale’s chances of not screwing up the draft by landing one of the top two picks. (The Timberwolves have a 13.8% chance of landing the top pick when the balls land.)

Our humble recommendation: if the third pick falls to the Timberwolves despite Hoiberg’s best efforts, why not run the bear out as the starting shooting guard this fall? Really, could it be any worse than Marko Jaric?