‘Accidental Nudity Football League’ Much Catchier

TheSmokingGun.com has a delightful update on Mitch Mortaza, the former Blind Date contestant (RAZOR!) attempting to maintain personal access to semi-nude hotties keep the Lingerie Football League afloat.

Lingerie Football League Accidental Nudity

TSG, which notes Mortaza as having a “rap sheet (that) includes drunk driving and public intoxication arrests,” has “repeatedly threatened legal action when players have complained (or simply inquired) about health coverage and wages.

Mitch Mortaza On Blind Date

(Mortaza: Football League Commissioner, Toe Ring Fetishist)

Sample of Mortaza’s subtle, legal approach: “Simply SHUT UP and play football.

Now I was always under the impression that the only reason the Lingerie League existed was as Mortaza’s own personal dating service. But I was wrong. Thanks to a standard player contract obtained by TSG, turns out the league really exists for one reason only: “Accidental Nudity.”

Lingerie Football League Accidental Nudity

The league, an ex-player told TSG, did not want women wearing bras or underwear, since that would inhibit instances where players were exposed when uniforms were ripped off or pulled down during play. Such “accidental nudity” is addressed in the contract, which requires a player to “knowingly and voluntarily” agree to such inadvertent exposure.

Talk about unrealized assets. If only Mortaza’s venture had been branded the “Accidental Nudity Football League” (ANFL) from the start, he wouldn’t be facing yet another failed venture.

TSQ also has a fun note about one of the team’s coaches, the appropriately named Keith Hac.

In an e-mail to members of the Chicago Bliss, the team’s coach, Keith Hac, ripped his players as “irresponsible children” after an “alcohol related incident” at a promotional event. Hac concluded with this helpful advice: “Stop acting like a bunch of Chicago Bliss tee-shirt wearing bimbos when the liquor starts flowing.”

Minor detail: Many of the girls involved were underage.

God I hope I’m wrong, we really gotta keep this thing going.