Trojans Sacked By Jock Itch Epidemic @ Practice

There’s a reason they call it “jock itch”. It being a particular rash that occurs more frequently with athletes because of the running, sweating, etc. However, it’s not usually considered a major medical problem. Unless you’re at USC Trojan football practice.

USC Injury

(”Yeah. I didn’t need to see that.”)

Because if you’re in SoCal and playing college football right now, the “boys” probably aren’t feeling too swell. The LOS ANGELES TIMES, itching for real news stories, reports that over a quarter of the team are walking around campus like they just got done riding a seven-foot-wide horse for a few hours:

As much as 25% of the team has been affected by the apparent run of tinea cruris, kicker David Buehler estimated. The condition seems to have spread by way of new compression shorts, or tights, worn under their football pants.

Tailback Joe McKnight and receiver Travon Patterson were sufficiently afflicted to spend Wednesday’s practice on the sideline.

“It burns,” Patterson said.

First I tried to make a Simpsons joke, then I was going to make a BOC joke, but instead I think I’ll just laugh. And wonder how the hell such a privately possessed problem is spreading like wildfire across the entire team.

USC Song Girl

And fortunately, its not her. But we had to check, no? Pete Carroll has a reason for the team’s rash of injuries: new equipment.

The illness passed quickly and the Trojans are hoping for similar luck with what Carroll delicately referred to as chafing.”We’ve had to adjust to some new equipment that we’re wearing that didn’t work out right,” he said. “It’s funny how that happened.”

Maybe not so funny to the players.

“Sometimes they can’t walk,” said tailback Stafon Johnson, who could giggle because he has remained itch-free. “I don’t know what it is, but I’m staying away from it.”

Perhaps it’s not humorous to those suffering, but it’s pretty freaking funny to all of us. And maybe I’ll stand up to go to lunch and realize karma’s moving its unpleasant way up my inner thigh. But I doubt it, because I remembered to shower this morning. Unlike 25% of the Trojans, apparently. Yeah, I’m not buying the “new equipment” thing, either.