Redskins’ Dan a Sheer Delight Outside The District

Earlier today in Detroit, Redskins Coach Jim Zorn enjoyed a wonderfully delightful moment mugging for the camera with Tom Cruise - before Washington went on to a methodic loss to the Lions, snapping Detroit’s 19-game losing streak. (Zorn’s demise officially elevated to “Spicy“)

Photo Jim Zorn With Tom Cruise Before Redskins Lost To Detroit

(Credit CSN Comcast/DC Sports Bog/Twitter)

Detroit’s stunning non-loss would’ve gone largely unnoticed (at least by me) if it hadn’t been for the lovable ‘Skins, who have as rabid a fanbase and reporting media as anywhere in The League. District-wide reax this week will be already is infinitely more interesting than Monday’s obligatory, Leno fake-funny on the Lions.

Photo Jim Zorn With Tom Cruise Before Redskins Lost To Detroit

(Credit CSN Comcast/DC Sports Bog/Twitter)

To wit, the Twitter of Redskins legend John Riggins, who machine-gunned these Tweets after the game today:

(Yes, WaPo’s Dan Steinerg confirms that’s really Riggo)

So just what in the name of L. Ron was Cruise doing at the game anyway? Redskins announcer Larry Weisman, via Steinberg, has the details.

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Australian Agent Loves The Child Pornography

In the movie “Jerry Maguire”, Tom Cruise plays a sports agent named, oddly enough, Jerry Maguire. He gets fired from the big agency he works for and starts his own company in which his only client is an Arizona Cardinals receiver named Rod Tidwell. Jerry then spends the entire movie killing himself to do everything he can to help Tidwell get the big contract he wants, and he does it all ethically. He also falls in love with some scrunchy faced chick with a kid. Anyway, I just want to make sure you understand that agents like this don’t exist.

(SHOW ME THE NAKED CHILDREN!!)

In reality agents would throw their own mother in front of a train if it meant getting a “personal toilet” clause thrown into their client’s contract. In fact, I’m pretty sure Scott Boras has actually done this. Anywhoo, the “good” news is that sleazy agents aren’t just an American phenomenon and they exist in other countries as well. Like in Australia where agents not only lie to their clients, but they also get busted for child pornography.

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The New And Improved Redskins Aren’t Improved

The NFL season opener featured the defending Super Bowl champion New York Giants against their NFC East rival, the Washington Redskins. And It was like Joe Gibbs 2.0 never left. The new guy, Jim Zorn, was supposed to bring all this new energy, a new way of doing things, a new offense, so on and so forth.

Jason Campbell

All ‘Skins fans got was more of the same: inept play-calling, a barrage of penalties, seven measly points and a loss. As usual, this is all owner Dan Snyder’s doing. And Tom Cruise. I’m sure he’s somehow responsible.

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Blog-A-Roni: Imus’ Racist Remarks About Pacman

• DEADSPIN finds Don Imus trying desperately to stay in the public eye with some more off-color comments - this time about Adam “Don’t Call Me Pacman Anymore” Jones.

Pacman Jones Don Imus

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK stays in step with George Martin, the ex-Giants lineman who just finished his 3,000-mile walk from New York to San Diego and raised over $2 million for 9/11 rescue workers.

• JUICED SPORTS BLOG squeezes out news that C.C. Sabathia will soon be saying sayonara to the Indians - and Cleveland’s dugout couldn’t be more relieved.

Darren Rovell of CNBC puts his best foot forward in explaining why this year’s top NBA draft picks haven’t signed shoe deals yet.

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David Beckham Now Avialable in Fathead Form

DAVID BECKHAM CAN NOW BE YOURS IN FATHEAD FORM: David Beckham is all set to hang out with you on your wall:

Beckham Fathead

BUSINESS WIRE passes along news that the soccer star is the latest athlete to get the Fathead treatment. Life-size decals of the the LA Galaxy player are part of the company’s new MLS line of super-sized stickers.

Tom Cruise couch bobblehead

We bet Tom Cruise has already ordered his first dozen.But we’re personally more excited about the chance to have Cuauhtemoc Blanco adorning our casa walls.

Snoop Dogg And David Beckham Becoming Best Buddies

MAN’S BEST FRIEND - SNOOP DOGG & BECKHAM BUDDIES: Snoop Dogg and David Beckham are becoming best buds:

David Victoria Beckham Snoop Dogg Mariah Carey

ROLLING STONE lights up the news that the million-dollar rapper and the L.A. Galaxy star are on the fast track to a fulfilling friendship.Beckham has even taught Snoop’s kids proper techniques of soccer. Maybe Snoop can return the favor, and teach David the proper techniques of roach clips.

Snoop Dogg Paris Hilton Carmen Electra

Tha Doggfather has barked out ideas of he & Becks working together on various projects from fashion lines to films.GIGWISE gets the 411 from Snoop himself: “No one would have thought me and my boy David would have anything in common – we come from separate worlds. But he has the dollars at his disposal and we’re talking about putting our money together to do a movie. It’s incredibly exciting.”

Bend It Like Beckham Soul Plane

“Bend It Like Beckham On A Soul Plane” does have a nice ring to it.Sounds like Becks & Snoop are having a jolly ol’ time. But what about all the plane-flying and car-racing Tom Cruise wants to do?

Tom Cruise couch bobblehead

Are there enough seats in the Cessna for all three to fit? Will Tommy be weirded out by Snoop’s odd behavior, and vice versa?Stay tuned.