Hey, Who Tagged Brandon Inge During The Night?

Brandon Inge

To answer your question, yes they’re real, and they’re spectacular. According to WJBK-2 TV in Detroit, Brandon Inge got these tattoos in San Francisco when the Tigers played at Oakland this past weekend.

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So Wait, Michael Beasley Was Already In Rehab?

Okay, let’s back the truck up on this one. The whole Michael Beasley saga, the one that started with an unfortunate picture of tattoos and apparently marijuana, then ended with him in rehab on account of depressed Tweets, is a little bit different than what has been initially reported.

Super Cool Beas Michael Beasley tattoo

It makes sense, since we interpreted Beasley’s last correspondences as more “poorly worded exasperation” than “suicidal ideations” (and trust that we know the seriousness of the latter). And as it turns out, Beasley was announced to be in rehab this weekend because that’s where he was already supposed to be - not necessarily because he was smoking.

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Michael Beasley’s Dad Blames Schedule, Not Team

As you’ll probably recall, word came yesterday that on the heels of his weekend Twitpic of his new tattoos, what definitely appeared to be marijuana next to him, and the subsequent seemingly despondent Tweets*, Michael Beasley checked into a Houston-area rehab clinic with former NBA player John Lucas. Time to get the life back on track? We’ll see.

Super Cool Beas Michael Beasley tattoo

It also remains to be seen the extent to which Beasley’s life was off the tracks in the first place, and that’s something that Beasley’s father, Michael Beasley Sr., is now questioning. We’re not sure why Beasley The Elder was on the “Jorge Sedano Show” on 790 WAXY-AM in Miami - maybe because he’s the first result on Twitter when you search for “Michael Beasley” - but there he was this morning, offering a little insight onto a situation that spiraled far out of control in a hurry.

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Beasley Enters Rehab After Posting Weed Picture

As we reported on Saturday, Michael Beasley had posted a curious picture on his (now defunct) Twitter account. Setting aside whether you think putting “Super Cool Beas” across your shoulders is a good idea, the larger lapse in judgment here was probably leaving what appeared to be a bag or two of the devil’s weed on the table next to him.

Super Cool Beas Michael Beasley tattoo
(Oh, and those “white rocks”? They’re freaking Altoids. Duh, people; let’s keep the theories in the realm of sanity, here.)

Before shutting down his Twitter feed, he left three frustrated messages, all of which were adorned with a liberal amount of exclamation points. Fast forward to today, and as YAHOO! SPORTS is reporting, Beasley is now in a Houston-area rehab.

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Nice Tattoos, Michael Beasley, But Is That Weed?

Michael Beasley, like most of the NBA, has tattoos. He’s covered in them, as a matter of fact. And as you can see, he’s not at all shy about sharing them, as he recently posted this shot on Twitpic:

Super Cool Beas Michael Beasley tattoo 2
(Wait, “Super Cool Beas”?)

And while this all seems like rather standard fare, you might want to take a closer look at the table in the lower right of the picture. Specifically, next to the bottle of 7up. Mike, is that… is that weed?

[UPDATE: According to the SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL, Beasley has since closed his Twitter account, which was @GorillaBeas. However, his Twitpic account, where the picture was in question was uploaded, is still active as of Sunday evening and is still linked as the original source in the first paragraph of our article.]

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Ochocinco Punks Us All With Fake Tattoos (Zzzzz)

So that Twitter alert by Chad Ochocinco yesterday, where he told everyone that he’s getting facial tattoos, and included these photos? It was a fake. The playful Bengal was having some fun at our expense! What a rapscallion! That certainly was humorous! (Yawns, resumes watching “Harper’s Island”).

Chad Ochocinco tattoos

The artist formerly known as Chad Johnson sent out a Tweet today informing everyone of the fake. Good thing, because that one on the right looks like a penis. Oh wait, it’s Florida. Read more…

Writer Falls For Obvious “NBA Tattoo Cap” Hoax

Maybe you caught this week’s cover story in the PHOENIX NEW TIMES, a 5000-word screed on the culture of tattoos in the NBA. It’s a pretty standard piece, until you get to the part where David Stern talks about the proposed “tattoo cap,” which would force teams to limit their upper arm and neck tattoos to 61 percent for the roster as a whole. Pretty groundbreaking stuff, right? It raises all kinds of issues of marketing, personal responsibility, thug culture, racism and individual freedom. And you’d think the player’s union would have thrown a fit. Here’s the problem: none of it is true.

Robert Swift Sonics tattoos

All right, maybe we shouldn’t be going to an alt-weekly for our sports coverage. But the alt-weekly really shouldn’t have their former music editor on this story, if she’s going to take message board posts as gospel. Because that’s pretty much what happened here.

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Player Wrongly Thinks He Got Mandela Tattoo

Normally I’d question the desire of a player who needs to get a 139-word Nelson Mandela speech tattooed on his leg. Really? You can’t get up for a game without having to rely on the words of a man who spent 27 years in prison fighting for more important things than a League Two soccer team?

Alex Rhodes

Even worse, Rotherham United’s Alex Rhodes‘ tattoo, which supposedly quotes Mandela’s inauguration speech, was never actually said by the former South African President. I know the first thing anyone should do when getting a text tattoo is check the spelling, but it’s also important to do your sourcing. Hey, at least it’s spelled right?

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When Faced With Adversity, Chinese Turn To Tats

It’s the scourge of young America, transcending race and socio-economic boundaries, and pervading schools, weight rooms and dance clubs everywhere: tattoos featuring Chinese characters.

Face of Adversity Tattoo

As the BEIJING SPORTS SMOG’s Dan Steinberg points out, Asian-inspired ink is also prevalent among our professional sports brethren. Like, for example, NBA star Shawn Marion, who’s nickname is “The Matrix,” but whose Chinese character tatty means “Demon Bird Moth Balls.” Makes sense.

Apparently, the Chinese also have a fondness for tats, and amazingly, they prefer them in English. Let me introduce you to Chinese Olympic badmintoneer Cai Yun.

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Marbury’s Head Now a Billboard for Starbury Inc.

Marc Berman of the NEW YORK POST has traveled out to Las Vegas to cover the New York Knicks’ summer league. Apparently, the Post forgot to send a photographer along.

Artist rendering of Stephon Marbury's new tattoo

Mark’s feature on Stephon Marbury  found in yesterday’s paper lead with the following paragraph, “Stephon Marbury bound off the Knicks’ team bus at Vegas’ Valley High last night - a new tattoo inscribed on his left temple. The “3″ logo found on his Starbury sneaker and apparel line is now a permanent part of his bald head.” Read more…