The Blind’s Side: Irony Lost On Lingerie Lineman

Thanks to the FT. MYERS NEWS-PRESS, we have our first confirmed Lingerie Football League MILF: Tampa Breeze lineman Carie Small.

Carie Small Photo

(She goes both ways. In the game. On the line. Nevermind.)

Mother of a nine-year-old son, irony takes a standing-eight in the opening round of her N-P profile:

“People first think that this is just powder puff football with a bunch of models running around in lingerie. That’s not what it’s about. The girls on my team and all across the league are athletes. We take it seriously. We work really, really hard and everybody has real jobs and real careers.

We don’t walk around and say we play in the Lingerie Football League. We leave that out. We say we play in the LFL.”

Funny, I call it by an acronym too: ANFL (Accidental Nudity Football League.)

Carie Small Photo

Speaking of that, Small gives us a team injury report:

“We don’t wear any padding in our torso area. One of my teammates has a separated hip right now.”

And you thought that injury was only relegated to the OFL. (Octogenarian Football League.)

Small, who is also a nursing student, admits that semi-nude football isn’t for everyone:

“Well, women are a little bit objectified. My grandmother has some issues but my family, they’ve supported me playing sports my whole life. They don’t have a problem.”

So Granny’s no longer a member of her family because she doesn’t approve of Small’s softcore endeavor? Nothing a roofie-infused night out with Joe Francis won’t cure. (Just stay away from state lines Granny!)

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Week in Review: The Soon-to-be Sharapova of Golf

• Meet Maria Verchenova, the swinging Russian sweetie who hopes to do in golf what fellow countrywoman Maria Sharapova has done in tennis.

Maria Verchenova

Glen “Big Baby” Davis makes Magic fans cry by hitting a game-winning shot - then bowls over a young courtside spectator. Of course, the kid’s dad isn’t very happy with the Raging Luna-Celtic.

• A Baltimore-area stripper claims that there’s nothing Michael Phelps likes better than sex & spitting tobacco.

• That Nuggets-Mavericks series certainly was a fierce one. If it wasn’t Mark Cuban getting into it with Kenyon Martin’s mom, it was Carmelo Anthony’s fiancee LaLa Vasquez jawing with Dallas fans.

• But Dirk Nowitzki steered clear of any such confrontations, since he had his own problems with his own fraudulent fiancee. Hey, Dirk - Tony Banks feels your pain.

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Vasquez Gets Vicious After Receiving Racial Slurs

• Why did LaLa Vasquez get into some vicious verbal jawing with Mavericks fans? Because she claims she was receiving racist taunts.

LaLa Vasquez

• What the Hellman’s? USC basketball coach Tim Floyd supposedly spent $1,000 to get some Mayo.

• Huzzah! NASCAR events can trace their roots back to Medieval times.

• Ex-NBA player Corie Blount is sentenced to one year in prison for having too many blunts, but not without a final jab from the presiding judge: “Cheech And Chong would have a hard time smoking that much.”

• Since we’ve already covered the Miami Caliente, it’s only fair that we also take a look at the Lingerie Football League’s other Florida franchise - the Tampa Breeze.

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Florida’s Other Lingerie FB Team Also Has Tryouts

On Tuesday, we reported on the tryouts for the Miami Caliente, one of the upstart teams of the new Lingerie Football League. In the interest of fair reporting and journalistic integrity, we really should also take a look at the Sunshine State’s other lingerie football franchise, the Tampa Breeze.

Tampa Breeze lingerie football

(Now this is a team we can get behind)

TAMPA BAY ONLINE hikes along news that over 100 women showed up outside the St. Pete Times Forum on Tuesday to try and wrangle a roster spot onto the Tampa team. And we have some action shots of the gridiron goings-on after the jump.

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