Try Left Instead? Governor Botches First Pitch

Florida Governor Charlie Crist was charged with tossing out the ceremonial first pitch before Game 2 of ALDS between the Tampa Rays and Texas Rangers.

Charlie Crist botches first pitch

Crist, a former Wake Forest quarterback, had thrown out four 1st pitches at past Rays games, so he figured to be in the zone on Wednesday. Read more…

A Message To Red Sox ‘Boyfriend’: Act Like a Man

If someone from outside the United States asked me what the best town in America was to get a feel for what Americans are like, I’d send them to Boston. Local folk are patriotic, funny and not shy about physical confrontation. Love The Bean.

Evan Longoria Turns Red Sox Fan Into a Little Bitch

So I was appalled to see a male Red Sox fan, who was afraid to give out his name, crying to the BOSTON HERALD this week about Evan Longoria trying to hook up with his “girlfriend” while the Rays were busy sweeping up the Fens last weekend.

“So this guy won’t stop texting my girl,” said our annoyed dime-dropper. “We are at a concert at the House Of Blues and he messages her: ‘I’m in town what are you up to?’ She replies, ‘With my man at a concert,’ and he says, ‘That’s unfortunate, etc. etc.”

Apparently Evan met the lady in question - who works as a bartender - on one of his previous forays to Fenway and he wanted to get up to bat again. And Longoria wasn’t taking no for an answer.

“He continued texting her all night and the next day. ‘Let’s go shopping, it’s harmless,’ ” said our spy. “And the next day, ‘Let’s go to a movie today.’ ”

The bummed out BF said he tried to “remain calm” during the Text Offensive, but he was rather aggravated. Especially when he found out that Evan was also texting another bartender asking her out, too!

“She, too, has a boyfriend and has told him to lay off, but he stays persistent,” he said.

Now our source - who was adamant about remaining nameless - insists he isn’t just slagging the Rays’ Romeo after the particularly savage beating his team put on our hometown heroes. He believes he is performing a public service!

“I think we should put this guy on blast and let all the guys around town know to make sure you don’t leave your GFs around Evan Longoria while he’s in town because he has no class or respect for other men,” he said.

Okay, if your “girlfriend” gave her number to Longoria, she was obviously interested in hanging out with him in the future. So I don’t blame the Rays third baseman one bit for going back to the well.

At the very least, if I’m going to call out Longoria, man-to-man, I’m not going to hide behind the skirt of the lady who wrote the Herald piece.

If Evan Longoria texted your girlfriend, would you …

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Longoria and the Rays got a big, fat laugh from that sad, little Red Sox fan.

Still can’t believe that happened in The Bean. Might have to re-route my Bangladeshi friend to Chicago.

Alyssa Milano’s MLB Exes Finally Find Success?

• Has the Curse of Alyssa Milano finally been lifted from MLB pitchers?

Curse of Alyssa Milano

• What better way to kick off the college football season than by trading really bad rival-bashing songs back and forth?

• Green Bay Packers LB Nick Barnett shares his shopping habits - such as getting his wife a Thumper.

Tony Kornheiser talks about all the quivering he did during his “Monday Night Football” days.

• Chelsea FC will have to wait awhile before signing any new players.

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Rays Unamused By Employee’s Fake Bomb Prank

It never worked for Wile E. Coyote, so why did an employee of the Tampa Bay Rays think that some fake ACME explosives would propel his team back into the AL East race? Meet William L. Jordan, 38, a mechanic at Tropicana Field who apparently saw the film “The Hurt Locker” one too many times, and thought it would be funny to plant a fake bomb at the stadium for a game with the Boston Red Sox.

Placed in a cabinet near one of the gates, the device was box-like, with wires and blinking lights — very MacGyverish. Police and team officials, however, did not get the joke, and Jordan was arrested. Read more…

Ex-MLBer’s Ex-Wife Offering Herself as an Escort?

• The career route of Troy O’Leary’s ex-wife Annette: From elementary school assistant principal to escort-for-hire?

Annette Gray OLeary

Maurice Clarett decides he needs to spend more time in prison.

• A Rays fan takes a 40-foot drop at the Trop from an escalator.

• Hey, you Ole Miss Rebels - Mississippi State’s got two words for ya.

• The Titans will wear a special helmet decal in honor of the late Steve McNair. But some Tennessee fans aren’t so touched by the tribute.

Read more…

Today’s Dumb Fan Injury Comes From… Tampa

We’re not sure what the deal is, but it seems like every month or so, there’s one fan who decides to get cute with an escalator railing or something at a pro ball park. Predictably, disaster ensues.

Escalator Surfing
(This is not the fan or incident in question… but it’s probably pretty close.)

And so it goes in Tampa, where one fan is “expected to survive” (always a good sign when the hospital’s saying “we think he’s not going to die,” right?) after taking a 20-foot plunge at a Rays game last night.

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Examiner Believes Mistress “Likely” Killed McNair

• A Tennessee state medical examiner says it’s “likely” that Sahel Kazemi was the one who shot & killed Steve McNair. But the case continues.

Sahel Kazemi Photo Steve McNairs Girlfriend Photo

• Phillies flatten Reds with a 22-1 drubbing - the worst in Cincy’s history.

• When it comes to major leaguers on rehab assignments treating their temporary minor league brethren to a fine meal, Manny’s a miser.

• The Tampa Bay Rays are suing a man for selling shirts with a supposed similar starburst logo.

• Prime suspect Mark Becker has plead not guilty in the shooting death of popular Iowa high school football coach Ed Thomas.

Read more…

Attention: The Tampa Bay Rays Own The Heavens

Let it be known henceforth that if you produce a t-shirt with a starburst on it, the Tampa Bay Rays will hunt you down and sue you until you bleed from various orifices. Does the image on the right — which Tampa resident Billy Castro claims is his company logo — closely resemble the image on the left, which is the tiny starburst in the “Rays” logo? Well yes, it kind of does.

And that’s why the Rays and MLB have waged a two-year campaign to sue Castro for copyright infringement, noting that the Rays fan had a duffle bag with 10 or so t-shirts outside of Tropicana Field last year before Tampa Bay’s first-ever World Series game, which he was attempting to sell for $5 each (Castro denies this). Clearly a major crime and a threat to democracy and our very freedom as Americans. Can’t we just throw him in Gitmo? Read more…

Rays Fan vs. J.C. Romero: Let The Fun Commence

You remember Robert Eaton, the Tampa Bay Rays fan who wanted an autograph from the Phillies’ J.C. Romero last week, and wound up getting throttled by the pitcher. Now Eaton wants more than a signature — he wants cash. It’s litigation time at the Trop! (Jaunty organ music here).

That’s not actually Eaton pictured on the right above, although that’s how I pictured him while he was talking, along with his attorney Jim Magazine, on WIP radio in Philadelphia on Tuesday. I wonder, did the interview conclude with a call-in segment? I would have loved to hear that, since they were in Philadelphia. Anyway, as Jimmy Shapiro of Sports Radio points out: “Eaton talks of a neck injury and I can totally see a Brady Bunch type neck brace in a court setting for this clown.”

Read more…

Rays Fan: J.C. Romero Grabbed Me By The Neck

Rays fans didn’t exactly go crazy for the World Series rematch with the Phillies at the Trop this week — they didn’t get a crowd that topped 21,000. But one Rays fan got his money’s worth down by the Phils’ bullpen, and ended up getting allegedly smacked around by J.C. Romero.

J.C. Romero

Romero, if you didn’t know, was the winning pitcher in the deciding game of the Series last year, then was suspended for 50 games this year for testing positive for androstenedione during the 2008 season. He and some other Phillies were approached by 25-year-old Robert Eaton for autographs, but after brushing him off Eaton yelled out to Romero something about him “getting some juice” instead. J.C. didn’t take too kindly to that, but after reading the whole story I’m not so sure that Eaton doesn’t come off looking like the bigger idiot.

Read more…