Speed Read: Hurricanes Avoid Yellow Jackets Trap

All this week, one of the top stories in college football was about the resurgence of the University of Miami football program after their Labor Day victory over Florida State. They were ranked in the Top 25 for seemingly the first time since Bernie Kosar was behind center, and people were talking about how head coach Randy Shannon had turned the moribund program back into players on the national stage.

Miami vs Georgia Tech

Which meant only one thing: The ‘Canes were due to crash and burn last night on ESPN against Georgia Tech. After all, they would certainly be dealing with a team-wide outbreak of swollen heads after their “program changing” win against the Seminoles. Plus, they would have to deal with the Yellow Jackets’ screwy triple option offense, which is tough under any circumstances. All the signs were there for a total meltdown: in fact, it had to happen.

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Brendan Haywood Apologizes To Gays Everywhere

Today in “Brendan Haywood, Homosexuality and You,” we have The Apology. You knew it was coming, of course. But from what I’m reading in Haywood’s blog today, he’s not apologizing to Stephon Marbury specifically for comments he made recently in reference to Marbury’s sexuality. He’s apologizing to gays, and not very convincingly at that. But hey, Haywood just wants to “quelch” this budding controversy.

In a recent radio interview at Hardcore Sports, Haywood said that the reason Marbury may be having a problem finding a team is that “GMs won’t touch him, because no one would want to get dressed around him.” There were comments about Marbury’s video of himself dancing to (dubbed in later) “Barbie Doll,” including: “because you gotta think something is a little, he’s swinging from both sides of the fence.” Read more…

Lobos Football Only Hiring Good-Looking Ladies?

• An ex-University of New Mexico employee sues the football department, claiming that the Lobos are only looking to employ lovely young ladies.

New Mexico is sexy bikini

(“Hey, that bikini is in our school colors! You’re hired!”)

• South Africa can’t seem to give World Cup tickets away, but they’re going to try anyway.

• Washington Nationals broadcasters take some on-air time lambasting Scott Boras and his high-priced client, Stephen Strasburg.

• Speaking of D.C., Redskins backup QB Colt Brennan denies hooking up with Jessica Simpson. Hope you enjoyed your 15 minutes, Colt.

Brendan Haywood doesn’t think much of Stephon Marbury’s latest online entertainment, but does think he might be gay.

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This Can’t End Well: Haywood Calls Starbury Gay

Back when he was at UNC around the turn of the century, we figured Brendan Haywood would be a high lottery pick and beast in the NBA; muscled, legit 7-footers don’t just appear out of nowhere, after all. But Haywood slipped to 20th, even though he had the talent to stick in the league for, now, eight years and counting

Brendan Haywood Stephon Marbury
(Playing with balls GET IT PEOPLE BALLS IT’S A PUN A PLAY ON WORDS)

Perhaps it’s because Haywood’s mouth has been more of a liability than anything else on the court; his beasting has been largely focused on fellow players, sometimes even teammates. He had a long-standing, often physical feud with fellow Washington center Etan Thomas, who’s one of the most erudite members of the entire league. And now he’s on the offensive toward Stephon Marbury… with a heavy emphasis on “offensive.”

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Marbury’s Cam: ‘You Saw Me’ Smoking Marijuana

Paul Walsh of the MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE and TMZ.com spot Stephon Marbury on his webcam smoking weed this week.

Stephon Marbury Smokes Weed On His Webcam

On Wednesday, the celebrity-watching TMZ.com posted video of Marbury appearing to smoke a joint. That speculation was put to rest when TMZ followed up with another clip Thursday showing Marbury laughing and telling his viewers: “I smoke marijuana … yep … you saw me.”

From there, the 32-year-old free agent who played last season for the Boston Celtics, added, “I’m not under contract … I smoke weed occasionally. … I’m not driving … I’m following the rules.”

And?

Video after the jump. Read more…

Speed Read: All Bets Off On Rose Hall Of Fame Bid

If Vegas actually had a betting line on Pete Rose making it into the Baseball Hall of Fame, it would have probably been taken off the board for “suspicious activity” after the events of the last few days. The odds improved significantly when Henry Aaron - a close friend of Commissioner Bud Selig - mentioned to reporters that he’d like to see Rose in the Hall of Fame, leading to a report by the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS that Selig was “seriously considering” lifting Rose’s lifetime ban.

Bud Selig, Pete Rose

But if ESPN is correct, betting on seeing Rose anywhere in Cooperstown other than selling autographs at a card table might be a sucker bet. Their sources are saying that Selig is not considering reinstating Rose, leaving him to be happy with his place in the Soup Bowl Haircut Hall of Fame (alongside sartorial luminaries as Moe Howard, Chairman Mao and Jim Carrey from “Dumb and Dumber”).

Pete Rose in Vegas

Personally, I could care less one way or the other - at this point, the only way Rose actually makes it into the Hall of Fame is through the Veterans Committee, and they are chock full of grumpy old men who would keep people out of the Hall of Fame for not wearing suits and hats on their train rides during road trips, much less betting on baseball. The only person I feel sorry for is Ray Fosse, as he has to deal with a new round of awkward questions about Rose turning him into a tackling dummy and ruining his career.

All of which Rose finds pretty funny, I guess:

And speaking of “suspicious activity,” I guess you can go ahead and add The Big Security Threat to Shaquille O’Neal’s list of monikers. While appearing on “The Mike Wise Show” a few days ago to promote his stint tonight on WWE Raw, he asked the hosts if they thought he could get into the White House and meet President Barack Obama if he dropped in unannounced. DC SPORTS BOG has the answer, and it’s a resounding “No.”

Shaq actually tried it yesterday, as part of a bet (1,000 push-ups) with one of his handlers. While the guys at the front gate were “nice,” they weren’t going to let Shaq act like this is a Tonight Show episode from 1982, and he’s Bob Hope interrupting an interview between Johnny Carson and an 82-year-old shoe collector to do a walk-through on the way to his latest special. Between the economy, the Middle East and studying the White Sox roster to find Walt Weiss, President Obama might have better things to do.

As far as Raw is Shaq went: he hung out with a leprechaun:

…and then kissed a sweaty guy prone to bouts of irrational anger:

So yeah, I can’t imagine why they wouldn’t want him hanging around the Oval Office.

Finally, Jim Bunning might be a Hall of Fame pitcher, but it turns out that the Republican Party has no problem pulling him early and telling him to hit the showers. The WASHINGTON POST says that the Senator from Kentucky is bowing to pressure within his own party and will not run for re-election in 2010, a political fall from grace that would have been almost unthinkable a few years ago.

Jim Bunning

Of course, it turns out that openly discussing when a Supreme Court Justice with “the bad cancer” is going to die isn’t the savviest political move. And his “lousy” fundraising so far for the race - he only $376,000 in his war chest - isn’t helping matters either. Or the persistent rumors that he’s dealing with Alzheimer’s-related dementia - you know, the “bad dementia.” All of which adds up to his seat being widely considered as the most vulnerable in the 2010 elections, making him a problem the Republicans couldn’t ignore any longer.

So what happens to the 77-year-old Bunning? Perhaps a seat on the Veterans Committee - or at least a table at a card show next to Pete Rose.

Other sports news that happened while you were accidentally shooting three people with your brand-new Taser gun.

Which player eligible for the Baseball Hall of Fame for the first time in 2010 is most deserving?

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All Starbury, All The Time. No Really, ALL The Time

Stephon Marbury is a weird dude. That much is hardly news, of course, but with that curious meltdown and subsequent release by the Knicks, his return in a backup role with the Celtics, and his relentless self-promotion, it seems like he’s in a world by himself of creating the insignificant sound and fury.

Starbury Capture
(You like this hoodie, don’t you? Starbury knows you like it. Don’t fight it.)

He has not only topped himself, but maybe the rest of the NBA with his latest self-promotional move, though. Starting at 6 a.m. this morning, Marbury has started a live stream of himself on the Internet, one that he says is going to last for 24 hours straight.

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Italian Swimmer Suffers Suit Snafu As Seat Splits

• Ain’t that a pain in the butt: An unlucky Italian swimmer suffers a cheeky wardrobe malfunction during a meet.

Flavia Zoccari

• The Baltimore Orioles make history - but the good kind, for once.

• The head of L.A.’s schools is seething after Sacha Baron Cohen did a Bruno GQ photoshoot with some high school football players.

• America’s favorite couple is back - Terrell Owens & Joanna Krupa return to compete in ABC’s “Superstars“.

Stephon Marbury really doesn’t want to go back to New York.

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Stephon Marbury Does Not Heart New York At All

Yesterday we learned about Brandon Marshall’s feelings for Denver and how he hates that “f***ing city“. Now today we learn of another disgruntled athlete and his lack of love for the place he had to play in the last few years.

Stephon Marbury will hit the free agent market today along with plenty of other NBA players, and though he’s not going to be as hot a commodity as most of the others he does have some advice for anybody considering the New York Knicks. That advice basically being to slap yourself in the face and think again.

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Stephon Marbury Hides Behind Bill Russell’s Skirt

By all accounts, Stephon Marbury’s time in Boston is a bizarre anticlimax. He rarely plays, he’s afraid to shoot, and he’s managed to completely stay out of the media, good or bad. So why does he say he’s happier than any time he’s been in his career?

Stephon Marbury

A simple quote from Bill Russell seems to have motivated Marbury, by vindicating what he’s been saying all along. That his problems in New York were all the fault of the Knicks, and Marbury is completely innocent.

What, you thought Marbury was going to grow up and shoulder some blame?

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