Fox News: EA NBA Game With Obama ‘bipartisan’?

FOX News reported recently on a new EA Sports NBA video game that will also feature “unlockable” famous politicians competing on the court.

Sarah Palin, Barack Obama in NBA Jam from EA Sports

Barack Obama and Sarah Palin are among the politicos included in the game, which EA Sports President Peter Moore addressed during a FOX News segment.

FOX News Host Jenna Lee: “Is this a bipartisan game, though, Peter, because I read that the president has some special skills; do any of the Republicans have any special skills?
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Speed Read: Yesterday Brought To You By Gillette

While Brooks and the rest of the SbB crew worked hard to get you the very latest on the Steve McNair murder, Sunday turned out to be a pretty big day for three of the world’s biggest athletes — who just happened to have co-starred in the “Citizen Kane” of awkward athlete endorsement campaigns.

Tiger Federer Jeter

That’s right, now that Thierry Henry has been booted from the Gillette posse (at least in America), all three razor-wielding superstars had pretty huge days.

First, Roger Federer made history by winning his 15th Grand Slam title in a crazy five-set win at Wimbledon over Andy Roddick. Pete Sampras was in the audience, taking in the match as only Sampras could — puking his guts out on the sideline looking bored out of his gourd. The 30-game fifth set was the longest in Slam history by a full 10 games. The final game was the only time Federer broke Roddick’s serve the entire match. Only Roddick’s inability to put away four set points in a second-set tiebreak kept him from pulling off the huge upset.

Federer and Sampras

As Federer was accepting his trophy, Tiger Woods was getting ready to tee off in the final round at the AT&T National, which he hosts. I’m not sure I understand the “host” thing, is that like when Heidi and Spencer “host” a party at PURE? He started the day in a tie with defending champion Anthony Kim, but soon found himself needing to keep up with Hunter Mahan, who started well back but fired a 62 to zoom all the way to the top of the leaderboard. Tiger drained a 20-footer on the 16th hole to take the lead, and he got to the clubhouse with two easy pars to wrap up his 68th PGA Tour win. And he interviewed himself afterward. I have to give him credit, though, as it was the first time the questions in a Tiger interview were as boring as the answers.

Jimmy Fallon and Tiger Woods

(I’m sure that losing to this guy in anything would be enough motivation to win whatever you were doing next)

Meanwhile, at Yankee Stadium, Derek Jeter was trying his best to hold up his end of the bargain in a measly regular-season game. But he came through with a four-hit day, including what turned out to be the game-winning home run in the bottom of the fifth inning of a 10-8 win over the Blue Jays. Better yet for DJ, he was officially named the starting shortstop for the AL All-Star team when the rosters were announced later in the afternoon.

Derek Jeter

Jeter got more votes than anyone else in the AL, but is joined in the starting lineup by just one other Yankee — first baseman Mark Teixeira. A-Rod is nowhere to be seen, with Evan Longoria getting the starting nod instead. Josh Hamilton was voted into the starting lineup despite missing all of June with an injury, and this year’s recipient of the Lance Carter Memorial “Who?” Award is Oakland reliever Andrew Bailey, who is a fine pitcher but a guy even baseball fans would be hard pressed to tell you anything about. And while it looks like manager Joe Maddon pulled some homerism by adding Jason Bartlett, Carl Crawford, and Ben Zobrist to the team, all three of those guys are having huge years. And yes, if you’re scoring at home, Zobrist is the last All-Star ever, alphabetically speaking. The other big story is that of 42-year-old Tim Wakefield, who surprisingly has never been an All-Star until now. And congrats to the Royals for producing an actual All-Star this year, rather than their usual token “we gotta put someone on the team” guy.

The NL team is headlined by Albert Pujols, who received the second-most votes ever (only Ken Griffey Jr. got more, in 1994). At age 37, Raul Ibanez is an All-Star for the first time, and has been voted in as a starter. Unfortunately, it looks like he’s probably not going to be able to play. Nor is fellow outfielder Carlos Beltran. That means that reserves Hunter Pence and Brad Hawpe are likely to be out there when the game starts. No true no-name on the roster, as even Pittsburgh’s representative — Freddy Sanchez — is fairly deserving of his spot.

Full rosters can be found here. And there is now voting going on at MLB.COM for the final roster spots. Vote Kung Fu Panda!

Pablo Sandoval

(This fat man should be an All-Star)

• If you click on only one link today, read this story in the L.A. TIMES about Zac Sunderland, a 17-year-old kid who is nearing the end of a solo circumnavigation of the world on a sailboat. Pirates, broken sails on the open seas, armed police escorts in New Guinea. It’s safe to say he had a more eventful year than the rest of us.

Rasheed Wallace is going to be casting ill-advised 26-footers for the Celtics next year, meaning Big Baby Davis is probably on his way out. And Jason Kidd is about to get overpaid by Mark Cuban (enjoy 39-year-old Kidd at $8+ million in 2012, Dallas)

• POLITICO says that Sarah Palin’s lawyer has fired a warning shot to the media in order to squash lingering rumors that Palin awarded the contract for constructing a sports arena in Wasilla (where she was mayor at the time) with the understanding that the same company would build her a house. In other news, the Phoenix Coyotes have just announced they are moving to Wasilla.

• SPORTS RUBBISH has video of the most crucial moment in yesterday’s Wimbledon final. What? Tennis? No, it’s Andy Roddick’s brother searching for a snack inside his own nose:

• I gotta admit, I just don’t really get the Tour de France. One guy clearly won today, but somehow everyone except two guys (that’s like 178 people) were credited with the same time. Hey, but at least Jussi Veikkanen is finally wearing the red polka-dotted jersey!

• OK, there was something called the “Junior World Football Championships” going on for the last week, and you’re not going to believe this — but the USA won. Shocking, considering our boys had to take down the likes of France, Mexico, and Canada (which they did by a cumulative score of 174-3). Next time, in an effort to even the playing field and give other countries a fighting chance, the U.S. is just going to send Washington State’s football team instead (they might be able to beat Sweden).

Beavis would be excited by the news that a man in Scotland set a world record by running nearly 100 yards while on fire (and people complain that eating a bunch of hot dogs is bizarre?). And yes, I am aware that 1994 has called and wants its cultural reference back.

Man running on fire

Ryan Braun is an All-Star, which I guess gives him the green light to talk about how much the Brewers’ starting pitchers suck.

•  That fan who says J.C. Romero “assaulted” him at a Rays-Phillies game last week should be thrilled he doesn’t live in Colombia. There, the athletes just shoot and kill fans who heckle them.

• The city of St. Louis thinks it can tax the bonuses All-Stars receive for appearing in the game at Busch Stadium, but the POST-DISPATCH says that won’t fly if players can prove that their bonus was earned from their previous play outside of the city’s jurisdiction, and not for simply appearing at the game.

• Sure, losing 16-14 in the fifth set of the biggest tournament of your life is pretty brutal, but don’t feel too sorry for Andy Roddick. He has a pretty nice shoulder to cry on:

Brooklyn Decker

Would you rather have 15 Grand Slam titles, or have 1 and be married to Brooklyn Decker?

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Crowning The World’s Best At Having Fake Sex

Brooks can take this job and shove it. I don’t need to be a blogger anymore, because I’ve found my true calling in life. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the North American Air Sex Championships.

Air Sex

Picture air guitar, but with less strumming and more bumming. Less twanging and more banging. Less plucking, and you get the picture. And just like real sex, it has to be done in under two minutes. But that’s plenty of time to get ridiculously creative.

Video after the jump.

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Blackhawks Spellbound By Favorite Son Aykroyd

Last Friday Dan Aykroyd dropped the ceremonial first puck for the Blackhawks-Devils game at United Center.

Dan Aykroyd's Jersey Name Misspelled By Chicago Blackhawks

(From UNI WATCH BLOG, of course)

From the CHICAGO TRIBUNE:

Aykroyd, wearing his trademark black sunglasses, arrived at the United Center driving the Blues Mobile from the movie “Blues Brothers.”

“I imagined Johnny [Belushi] sitting next to me on those cold nights in Harvey, Ill.,” Aykroyd said of a location of filming for “Blues Brothers” in 1980.

Yeah, the Hawks had a little trouble with the spelling of the actor’s last name that night. But it’s just as well, considering Aykroyd isn’t from Chicago or a Blackhawks fan for that matter. Read more…

Week In Review: Super Bowl Viewers See Boner

• Super Bowl viewers in Tucson were treated to a 30-second clip of some guy’s schlong. And for those who are curious, here’s what they saw.

Larry Fitzgerald Super Bowl porn girl

• That pornographic interruption was probably more fun than actually going to a Super Bowl party.

• Should Erin Andrews and other female sports reporters get the chance to graduate from the sidelines to the broadcast booth?

• The USOC is seething over a strip club hosting its own “Pole Olympics“.

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Phelps Gets Motivated; Glenn Gets All Messed Up

Michael Phelps - from marijuana smoker to motivational speaker. Maybe he can motivate himself not to skip the 2012 Olympics.

Michael Phelps Terry Glenn

• And Mike should have a talk with Terry Glenn, the ex-Dallas Cowboy who was taken in for wandering high & naked through the halls of a hotel.

• As if sports agents weren’t sleazy enough, now they’re getting caught collecting child porn.

LeBron James doubles his pleasure & triples his fun by going off in a 52-point performance at MSG Wednesday night.

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You Betcha: Palin Named Girl After ESPN CT Town

About time we get our bi-monthly Sarah Palin fix, with the ASSOCIATED PRESS as the enabler.

Sarah Palin as a sportscaster

(Video after the jump)

The AP has an advance of an interview Palin did with ESQUIRE mag that will be out on Feb. 16. Of course, the only reason any media outlet these days interviews Palin is to attempt to make her look like a complete jackass.

Sarah Palin Bristol Palin Named After ESPN's Bristol

(Chris Berman approves) 

And I’m happy to report that Esquire succeeded in that endeavor. Read more…

ECHL’s Blagojevich Night Means Prison Uniforms

Not to go all MSNBC on you, but did you see Rod Blagojevich’s press conference yesterday? Holy crap, that’s the early favorite for batsh*ttiest insane moment of 2009. The impeached Illinois Governor is honestly making Stephen Colbert’s job a little too easy. But around these parts, we all know that the destination for cutting edge political satire isn’t the Daily Show or Colbert Report, but rather the ECHL.

Las Vegas Wranglers Blagojevich Jersey

Those Las Vegas Wranglers are up to their old tricks again, scheduling Rod Blagojevich night. The players will play in vintage prison uniforms, a move that’s either hilariously slanderous or slanderously hilarious. They’ll also be auctioning off the best seat to the highest bidder.

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Palin Likes Chops? I’ll Stick With The Baby Backs

Greg Wyshynski, better known as PUCK DADDY at Yahoo Sports, has an epic find today. Here’s the cheerleading squad for the Iowa Chops minor league hockey team:

Baby Backs Iowa Chops Cheerleaders

Baby Backs? Rather appropriate considering all that extra meat the young ladies have falling off the bone.

Baby Backs Iowa Chops Cheerleaders Lindsay

The Chops, an American Hockey League team, held an online poll to determine the name. Suggestions that lost out: Bacon Bits, Chops Chix, Hat Tricks, Applesauce, Chopettes.

If only I could’ve figured out how to mask my IP, Applesauce would’ve won in a landslide.

So how did the Chops happen on the grand promotional idea? The poll was introduced after the team’s name attracted the attention of Sarah Palin. Read more…

Carano Almost as Influential as Oprah & Angelina

Let’s play the old Sesame Street game “Which one of these things is not like the other?”: Angelina Jolie, Sarah Palin, Oprah Winfrey, Hillary Clinton, Gina Carano. If you guessed Carano, congratulations! You just picked out the least likely member of the “Top 5 most influential women” in, well, just about ever.

carano pink

(Yup. Looks like Top 5 quality to us.)

Carano, easily the best looking fighter ever, catapulted from complete anonymity into the Top 10 of YAHOO! BUZZ’s annual list of most influential women. In fact, she not only made the list, she made the top 5. Sure, Carano got plenty of eyeballs on her as “Crush” on “American Gladiators”, and also probably in part of being one half of the first-ever primetime female fight. Still, we’re betting that her looks have something to do with it, no?

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