It wasn’t enough for Diageo, the makers of Smirnoff vodka, to invite the good folks of Phoenix out to see their hockey team free with the purchase of a bottle of booze. Now they’re plastering their name across The World’s Largest Beer Garden in an attempt to make further inroads into the sports scene. That’s one way to pay for stadium upgrades if you won’t pony up to the governor.
Wrigley Field will now host the Captain Morgan Club (a restaurant) and the Smirnoff Patio and provide lovely mixed drinks to the fans that like to do a little drinking around 10 am at home and then ride the El to Addison and start downing car bombs around 11:30 am for a 1:20 pm start.
If Cubs fans aren’t careful, they might even put Toronto Blue Jays fans to shame. That’s not easy to do, either; they can’t be stopped even if Daddy takes the alcohol away for a game. (Not to mention the gratuitous nudity.)
Also gratuitous: the entire 2008-2009 NCAA women’s basketball season. The University of Connecticut Huskies won their 39th straight game by double-digits to complete their undefeated season and claim the nation’s crown.
Stanford University of Louisville kept this game competitive for about as long as you’ve been reading this article thus far, which still might be the best effort of the year for a UConn opponent. This could be the point for a snide joke about going pro in a little something we call life, but these young women are already professional assassins. Yikes.
We know the short-lived hole in the media filter (and the filter on media members themselves) caused by Twitter will soon close and leave us with more canned responses and layers of personal marketing protection. As we speak, there are businesses springing up around the management of social spaces and new media integration and other phrases that dampen the soul.
For now, though, we live in truly awesome times. Example: Bill Stewart (West Virginia’s head football coach and the antithesis of R-Rod) has been carrying on like a blessed fool on Twitter, including how he threw all the kickers out of a meeting or how he gets so fired up by Chubby Checker that he sprints into practice at 4:15 am.
Go like this, Coach Stewart. Go like this all morning long.
And now the twisting hail of bullets that Carl Landry could heal up from in only three weeks…
- Need a Mets ticket? Why not purchase one from a Madoff trustee? Nothing could go wrong there.
- Finally, justice will be served for Lance Armstrong as the thief that stole his bicycle has apparently been captured. We believe we have found a picture of the culprit:
- Stan Kasten, president of the Washington Nationals, went on Philly radio and told Phillies fans just how much they were welcome to fill those increasingly empty seats at Nationals Park, having apparently forgotten that D.C. sports fans survive the surprisingly harsh winters by burning compressed carbon logs of their own hate for other teams. You’d think Stan Kasten had bigger fish to fry, frankly. For example, Dmitri Young just called Stan Kasten’s house because he heard Kasten’s hosting a fish fry.
- Your NBA Draft early departure update: Blake Griffin (as mentioned late yesterday), Jodie Meeks, and everyone in the city of Tucson. They’re gonna need a bigger green room.
- Senator Ted Kennedy threw out the first pitch at Fenway Park on Opening Day. Senator Bill Frist saw this video and declared Kennedy alive and well, raising his batting average to .500.
- The San Diego Padres have one chance at a title: Miss California Carrie Prejean (a former “Deal or No Deal” model) will be competing for the Miss USA title in Vegas on April 19th and she’s a former member of the Padres’ “Pad Squad”. It’s good that she’s no longer with the organization or Becky Moores might demand weekend visitation rights.
- Kellen Winslow, Jr. is now a very rich soldier in Tampa. In fact, we don’t think there’s been a more wealthy soldier since Sgt. Slaughter committed treason.
- The weather will be miserable at the Masters this weekend. Hey, at least everyone gets to stay in and around beautiful Augusta, GA.
- Even the Road Runner can’t get out of paying his remodeling contractors, Leandro Barbosa.
- As always, sports governing bodies’ petty infighting makes for complicated reading. Therefore, please forgive us an analogy: baseball couldn’t hook up with softball to make a 2016 Olympics baby, so they’re slumming with women’s baseball to try to reproduce a “women’s component to its bid to get reinstated for the 2016 Olympics“. (The IOC is loathe to add a boys’ sport without adding a girls’ sport as well.) Of course, the idea might go over better if there were more than a thousand high school girls in America that played baseball, much less in other countries.
- Then again, maybe this would all be helped if these sports governing bodies weren’t so monochrome in their leadership that one expert found that the “whiteness is distressing.“