Gilbert Arenas Appears in New PETA Ad Campaign

Maybe today wasn’t the best day for PETA to introduce it’s new ad campaign featuring Gilbert Arenas:

Gilbert Arenas PETA

And a close-up of Gil’s non-mink ink:

Gilbert Arenas PETA

I personally prefer the poses done by Amanda Beard and Tony Gonzalez’s wife October.

Thanks to Dan Steinberg of DC SPORTS BOG for the tip.

PETA: UGA Should Use Robot Bulldog As Mascot

In the wake of UGA VII’s recent death, PETA blogger Logan Scherer has a novel suggestion about the direction the University of Georgia should take on its mascot.

UGA Georgia Bulldog Mascot

(For a nude PETA poster of October Gonzalez, how ’bout UGA robot coach?)

To help end the crisis—and UGA’s string of preventable mascot deaths—we’re asking the University to honor Uga VII by replacing him with an animatronic or solely using their costumed mascot, Hairy Dawg.

We can’t think of a more fitting legacy for Uga VII than to stop the breeding of animals, which causes so many lethal genetic problems like those that undoubtedly contributed to his untimely death.

You read that right kids, PETA wants the school to considering using a robot bulldog as its mascot on game day.

Read more…

Dear Tony G: We’d Rather Yer Wife Go Naked Too

Here’s the Peta ad Tony Gonzalez and his stunning wife October recently posed nude for.

Tony Gonzalez October Gonzalez naked PETA ad

(Canned quotes to AJC here)

Gonzalez is well known for being one of the first NFLers to go vegetarian, so I suppose the ad shouldn’t come as that big a surprise. I’m not a PETA guy, but I think we’re all October guys. My goodness what a stunning woman.

Link to larger PETA image and more pics of her after the jump. *picks up jaw* Read more…

World’s Fastest Man Adopts World’s Fastest Pet

While visiting Kenya this week, world champion Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt adopted a baby cheetah. I applaud this cosmic symmetry, and wish it could be repeated throughout the sporting world: Charles Barkley could adopt a baby water buffalo, for instance. Hank Steinbrenner a jackass. And so on.

Usain Bolt

“During his trip, he has already impressed local children with his football skills, and become an honorary Maasai warrior.” It’s like I have a twin! If you’d like to see a split-screen video of Bolt and a cheetah racing each other, with a title graphic that’s spelled “Battle of the Mammels,” you’re in luck. It’s following the jump. Read more…

PETA Protests Ginobili Bat-Kill, Because Whatever

Just yesterday, we brought you video of Manu Ginobili killing a bat that had interrupted play in a Spurs game from this weekend. The very first commenter on the page wondered aloud, “Where’s PETA now?”, knowing full well their outraged reply would be hitting the Internets at any moment.

Video of Manu Ginobili Catching Killing Bat

Lo and behold, here we are. Surprisingly, though, PETA had a reasoned, nuanced reaction that caused everybody to gain respect for their maturity in the field of animal ethics. In an op-ed posted at OPPOSINGVIEWS.COM, PETA released a statement acknowledging that the bat was causing a nuisance in an area where it never should have been in the first place, and that Ginobili’s actions, while unfortunately fatal, were a brief and expedient end to the situation.

Hahahaha, just kidding, they compared Manu to Michael Vick and basically pretended he was Satan.

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So What Exactly Is Vick’s Relationship With Nike?

One of the odder stories of the past couple of weeks concerns Michael Vick and his amazing disappearing Nike contract. What exactly possessed Vick’s endorsement agent, Blue Equity Sports Television Managing Director Mike Principe, to announce this past Wednesday that Vick “just became a Nike client” and “has a new deal” with the company?

Michael Vick

Could it have been a way of testing the waters; a “What if?” type scenario to see if the villagers would take up pitchforks and boycott Nike products if Vick reentered their orbit? Or is Nike simply paying Vick under the table to wear their stuff, thus avoiding the wrath of PETA? Read more…

Drop That Unauthorized Keychain, Or We’ll Shoot!

Canada is no United States, but they’re learning. For instance, what’s the fun in having free speech if you can’t trample on it and throw it in the garbage when the need suits you? The IOC and the Vancouver Olympic Organizing Committee asked themselves that very question recently, and came up with a devilish plan.

The 2010 Vancouver OOC will be sending roving teams of observers throughout the city before and during the games, but they’ll have the power to do more than observe. Selling an Olympic Teddy Bear with an unauthorized Vancouver 2010 logo? We’re confiscating that (grabs bear, kicks you in shin). But that’s not all. Read more…

Ruh Roh: Could Vick’s Reinstatement Be Today?

As Kay said in “Godfather II”: “I should have known that you were too clever for them, Michael.” The LOS ANGELES TIMES is reporting that Michael Vick may not have to wait until Week 6 to find out of he’s back in the NFL. He could be back today. To quote a great cartoon philosopher: “Zoinks!”

Michael Vick

Roger Goodell is reportedly preparing to huddle with the Philadelphia quarterback today, and could decide to set Vick free for the Eagles’ opener on Sept. 13 at Carolina. A dramatic turn of events from just, well, yesterday, when it was unclear if Goodell would let Vick play in any NFL Reindeer Games at all. Read more…

Speed Read: Hey Kids! The Vick Circus Is In Town!

I know you thought Thursday would never come, but it’s here. And yes, I told you that if you were good, I’d take you to the Cirque du Vick, that dramatic mix of circus arts and occasional football plays scheduled for tonight at Lincoln Financial Field. It’s Michael Vick’s return to the NFL, making this not just another exhibition game no one will watch, but must-see entertainment. Hey, I don’t make the rules. I just observe.

And there’s plenty of excitement in store, including a pro-Vick march and rally by the NAACP, possible disruption by PETA and other anti-Vick factions, and of course the always-reliable Philly fans themselves (hey, who threw that brick!?). Unfortunately, the ride depicted in the photo above left and in the video below will not be available. The guy in a Vick jersey riding a puppy is either a tragic coincidence, or an example of a man who majored in Irony and wants to put that degree to use for once.

The YouTube description says it was shot at an amusement park in Myrtle Beach, S.C., and that’s all I know about it. Except that what he’s doing is just wrong on so many levels. But it fits right in with the festivities here on Michael Vick Day, so climb aboard, kids! Just don’t let Steeler Poodle see you.

Steeler Poodle

(Steeler Poodle sez: “Big Ben is innocent!”)

Eagles head coach Andy Reid has said that Vick will play with the first team at some point during the first three quarters tonight, but in what capacity and for how long is still shrouded in mystery. Andy, you sly minx. Presenting Vick tonight after only two weeks of practice serves no actual physical purpose, since he’ll be sitting out at least the first five games of the regular season. But by throwing him into the mix tonight you get the majority of the controversy out of the way early; like a first kiss. But beware, Mike; Philly fans like to slip in the tongue.

It’ll be Vick’s first appearance in an NFL game since Dec. 31, 2006; which was also at Lincoln Financial. And he’ll start today in federal bankruptcy court, which is always fun. Then it’s home to feed the dogs, and then on to the game. Yeah, it’s unknown if Vick has truly seen the light and is genuinely remorseful over his dog-killing past. But what we do know is that all the publicity surrounding his incarceration hasn’t helped dogs one bit. The Pennsylvania Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has reported 400 investigations of dogfighting operations so far this year; almost twice as many as in all of 2008.

But in case any of you fans are actually interested in the game, please note that former Eagles three-time Pro Bowl left tackle Tra Thomas returns to Philadelphia for the first time since joining the Jaguars. And there may even be a Brian Westbrook sighting tonight, but don’t expect to see him for long. If you’re not a local, the game will be shown on NFL Network tonight at 11 p.m. (ET), and again on Friday at 4 p.m. (ET).

Meanwhile, at the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco, the MLB Players’ Union got a favorable ruling on the infamous 104-player PED list, and may soon have it back in hand where it will be carried forthwith to the nearest shredder.

A federal appeals court ruled Wednesday that agents had no right to seize baseball’s anonymous drug-testing results from 2003. The decision by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals is a victory for the players’ union, which has argued for years to have the results of the 104 players who allegedly tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003 returned.

“This was an obvious case of deliberate overreaching by the government in an effort to seize data as to which it lacked probable cause,” Chief Judge Alex Kozinski wrote in the 9-2 decision.

The records, seized by government agents in April 2004 as part of the BALCO investigation into Barry Bonds, has been the subject of legal wrangling ever since. If the case doesn’t end up in the Supreme Court, the list will be returned to the players’ union, where it will presumably be destroyed. The court ruled that federal agents trampled on players’ protections against unreasonable searches and seizures in taking the list, which included Alex Rodriguez and David Ortiz, who were among those whose names were leaked.

The American Defenders of New Hampshire were supposed to play the New Jersey Jackals in a Can-Am pro baseball game on Tuesday, but there was one problem: They faced a lockout. But it isn’t the kind of lockout you’re used to hearing about; the City of Nashua locked the stadium because the team was behind in their rent. The Defenders — formerly known as the Nashua Pride — owe fire, police and rent bills totaling about $45,000 according to mayor Donnalee Lozeau. And to make sure the teams didn’t scale the fence and play the game anyway, Lozeau had city workers park a tractor over home plate. This is true. Fun fact: The Defenders team president is Dan Duquette, former general manager of the Boston Red Sox. They’re now on the road, but as of today, the stadium impasse has not been resolved.

Links to read while sharing Pop Tarts with your gorilla:

  • Above is a photo of a very toasted Billy Gillispie, who was arrested by Lawrenceburg, Kentucky, police early this morning for DUI. Yep, that’s the former Kentucky Wildcats basketball coach, who was fired in a contract dispute this past March and has since sued the university for breach of contract. Gillispie and a passenger were driving a white 2009 Mercedes with Texas tags around 2:45 a.m. on US 127 when someone reported seeing the car driving erratically. Gillispie was arrested and charged with DUI, and reportedly refused to take a breathalizer or blood alcohol test. Gillispie had also been arrested for DUI in Oklahoma in 1999.
  • Allen Iverson may be a Grizzly before you know it. Memphis confirmed that they’ve made him an offer, but will AI go through with it? I can’t picture him in Memphis; it doesn’t seem like a good fit. Iverson touring Graceland is just too bizarre.
  • Not sure if this happened before or after David Ortiz’s walkoff home run gave the Red Sox a 3-2 win over the White Sox on Wednesday, but Boston released Brad Penny, who was 7-8. Penny, 1-6 over his past 11 starts, is working on the one-year, $5 million contract he signed during the offseason.

  • In naming Shaun Hill as the team’s No. 1 quarterback on Tuesday, 49ers coach Mike Singletary praised him in the way that only Mike Singletary can. In other words, it’s our baffling NFL quote of the Year so far: “There’s nothing pretty about Shaun. Everything’s ugly: His drop … his release … all these things. But what’s beautiful about him is his heart. I want to go down with a guy like that.” Season tickets still available!
  • Was watching Brad Cooper on “The Tonight Show” last night, and he almost revealed who will be taking up the Mr. T role in the new “A Team” movie that’s on the way to theaters (Cooper will play Faceman, with Liam Neeson as Hannibal). Cooper wouldn’t spill the other big role, but according to several sources, BA Baracus will be played by Rampage Jackson.

Will you watch the Eagles-Jaguars game on NFL Network because of Vick?

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NAACP Planning Pro-Vick Rally Before Thu. Game

It’s obvious a lot of folks in Philadelphia are flustered by the fact that the Eagles are giving Michael Vick a second chance at an NFL career. The Vickster is set to make his debut for the Iggles this Thursday in an exhibition game against the Jaguars at Lincoln Financial Field.

Michael Vick Eagles

As you would expect, a big protest march is being planned to take place at the Linc before kickoff. As you might not expect, the planned march will be pro-Vick.

Read more…