Photos of Chicago Blackhawks Patrick Kane and Adam Burish on Halloween surfaced on the web this week. Kane portraying Scottie Pippen and Burish as Dennis Rodman:
(Burish on left)
Greg Wyshynski of Yahoo Sports blogs today about the response from the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, which he writes, “has decided to turn this manufactured controversy into a cottage industry of content. Along with Wilkins’s piece, the Blackhawks photo has been blogged about in at least three other places on the publication’s Web site.” Read more…
How wrong we were. Comes now that in sunny Tampa, where nothing ever goes wrong, the next salvo has been fired, and we can look at this as less of a feud and more of a burgeoning conflict, one that threatens to envelop our nation in perpetual conflict and violence. Goodbye, Crips and Bloods - hello, Cabs and Ballers.
Chicago Blackhawks star forward Patrick Kane has had quite a year. The precocious youngster scored his first hat trick, his rejuvenated team made it to the Western Conference Finals, and he scored the cover of EA Sports’ NHL 2010. All the pieces of athletic superstardom were coming into place for Kane, and he was poised to take the sports world by storm.
(This is the face of evil.)
There was only one problem - everyone knows that real superstars gotta have street cred and a rap sheet, and poor Buffalo-bred Patrick Kane had neither. What’s a young hockey player to do? A bar brawl was out of the question (Kane’s only 20), and killing people is only OK if you play in the NFL. Last night, though, Kane took the first step towards that much-coveted rap sheet by beating up a Buffalo cabbie and breaking his glasses over…wait for it…twenty whole cents. Baby steps, Patrick.
Patrick Kane is wishing right about now that he’d tested positive for steroids, or at least been caught with a transvestite hooker. But not this. No, not this. In one of his weaker moments, the Chicago Blackhawks wunderkind admitted that as a child he was forced to play with dolls.
By his three sisters. Kane, whose hat trick in Game 6 of the Western Conference semifinals helped the Blackhawks advance to the finals against Detroit, couldn’t get his three sisters to play sports unless he played dolls with them. And that included tea parties. (Susie Derkins from Calvin & Hobbes approves.)
Two Game 6 classics in one night? An OT winner from the Caps that guarantees an Ovie-Crosby grudge match on Wednesday night? A 12-goal outburst in front of an insane crowd at the United Center that cemented the Blackhawks’ return to relevance once and for all? Sorry NBA, Monday night was owned by the NHL.
First, in Pittsburgh, Dave Steckel’s sweet tip-in of Brooks Laich’s wrister from the point 6:22 into OT saved the Capitals’ season and silenced an Igloo crowd that was ready to celebrate a return trip to the conference finals.
Sidney Crosby’s tying goal with just over four minutes left in regulation gave the Penguins the momentum back after blowing a lead earlier in the period. But in the end, Marc-Andre Fleury was just a little too shaky. He only stopped 19 of 24 shots on the night while his Washington counterpart Simeon Varlamov outplayed him yet again, turning aside 38 of 42. The NEW YORK TIMES sums it all up better than I can:
Five one-goal decisions in six games, three overtimes and 41 goals, with Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby striking for 13 and assisting on 10 others. The Capitals and the Penguins have played a marvelous Eastern Conference semifinal series, and after Washington’s 5-4 overtime victory Monday, it will continue, fittingly, to Game 7 at Verizon Center on Wednesday.
As recently as two seasons ago, the Hawks were a failing franchise that could barely fill half of the United Center. Now, there isn’t a tougher ticket in town and the team went over the million mark in attendance for the season last night. As if all this isn’t enough, they’re likely going to be facing the Detroit Red Wings in the next round (provided the Wings can win one of two against Anaheim). And, I’m just going to throw it out there now: if they do play the Wings, I’m saying there’s a 50% chance that at least one fan is going to die in an incident directly related to that series. I’ve been to regular season games between those teams at the UC that have seen near riots in the 300 level. I’ve heard Hawks fans start a rousing “De-troit sucks” chant during a game against the L.A. Kings. They’ve been waiting for this for years.
Oh yeah, the NBA playoffs were on the schedule last night, too. The LeBrons finally put the Atlanta Hawks out of their misery with a ho-hum 84-74 win to wrap up another sweep. It actually was a pretty close game, and guys like Delonte West and Mo Williams stepped up with big contributions down the stretch to hold off a scrappy Atlanta squad that just didn’t have enough healthy guys to compete. The Cavs are 8-0 in the playoffs, with all of the wins coming by double digits.
In Dallas, Dirk Nowitzki had 44 points (one for every alias used by his fianceé), including 19 in the fourth quarter, as the Mavs shook off a crapload of technical fouls and stayed alive with a 119-117 win over the Nuggets. Dallas trailed by 10 at halftime and for much of the second half as well, but finally took the lead on a Dirk jumper with less than three minutes left. Nowitzki’s heroics overshadowed Carmelo Anthony’s 41 points, 11 rebounds, 3 assists, and 5 steals. Denver’s still up 3-1 and doesn’t look all that beatable at home against the Mavs, so don’t look for this one to be coming back to Dallas.
• At this point, I think the possibility of getting taunted on YouTube would be more of a deterrent than a yellow card for taking a ridiculous dive in soccer. West Ham’s David di Michele boned a breakaway against Liverpool on Saturday so bad that he had to act like someone tripped him, and nobody was buying it (he needs to attend the Drogba School of Diving). THE SPOILER has the video.
• Randy Johnson gave up three homers in five innings but did enough to earn his 298th career win. If he can squeeze two more out of his arm before it falls off, he may just be the last pitcher to ever reach that mark. (Do you see CC Sabathia winning 15 games a year until 2022? Me neither)
• The silly scheme to keep Rachel Alexandra from running in the Preakness Stakes has been squashed, and the filly will run with the big boys on Saturday. Incidentally, Rachel Nichols‘ maiden name was Alexander, so expect Rachel Alexandra to start following around a horse named Brett Favra sometime next week.
An odd conflagration of opinion about female sports fans (especially of the NHL variety) hit our newsreader today, ranking them as either floozy or f’d up. We struggled with this seeming regression and now choose to share our troubles with you, kind reader. First: the floozies.
(We don’t blame you for feeling a little violent today, Elisha)
LARRY BROWN SPORTS caught young Blackhawks stud Patrick Kane on SPORTING NEWS RADIO, being asked about the quality of groupie he encounters as a professional athlete. He ranks the Russian and Swedish girls highly and likes that Canadian girls know who he is. You can practically hear the radio host elbowing him in the ribs and winking.
We guess this is interesting on some level; it’s certainly part of a life we could never be a part of, so it does have a “Wild Kingdom” quality. (”Much like the NHL groupie stalks her unwitting prey, you too can hunt down the protection your family deserves with Mutual of Omaha…”) And, hey, good for Patrick Kane for living life to the fullest. Still, this is the best we could do on the topic?