Please Start Giving Black Sports Fans More Credit

Photos of Chicago Blackhawks Patrick Kane and Adam Burish on Halloween surfaced on the web this week. Kane portraying Scottie Pippen and Burish as Dennis Rodman:

Chicago Blackhawks In Blackface For Halloween Patrick Kane Adam Burish

(Burish on left)

Greg Wyshynski of Yahoo Sports blogs today about the response from the CHICAGO TRIBUNE, which he writes, “has decided to turn this manufactured controversy into a cottage industry of content. Along with Wilkins’s piece, the Blackhawks photo has been blogged about in at least three other places on the publication’s Web site.Read more…

Reggie & Kimmy K. Getting Back Together Again?

Reggie Bush & Kim Kardashian are gonna give love another chance.

Reggie Bush Kim Kardashian

It’s gotta be the new hair!

• Those 38 wins by the Memphis Tigers two years ago? The NCAA declares that it never happened.

• That seems a bit harsh. Next thing you’ll tell me, giving cream cheese to athletes would be considered an NCAA violation.

Plaxico Burress pleads guilty to gun possession charge, will spend the next two seasons playing for the penal pigskin league.

• First Patrick Kane, and now Aqib Talib. Why do pro athletes hate cabbies so much?

Read more…

Athletes, Cab Drivers Enter Into Full-Fledged War

When news broke of Patrick Kane punching out that cabbie in Buffalo last weekend, we thought it was just an isolated incident, one young pup too chemically invested in the night to know enough right from wrong to refrain from raining fists down on an unsuspecting cab driver.

Aqib Talib

 
(Enraged by the color yellow?)

How wrong we were. Comes now that in sunny Tampa, where nothing ever goes wrong, the next salvo has been fired, and we can look at this as less of a feud and more of a burgeoning conflict, one that threatens to envelop our nation in perpetual conflict and violence. Goodbye, Crips and Bloods - hello, Cabs and Ballers.

Read more…

Patrick Kane Arrested For Buffalo Cabbie Assault

Chicago Blackhawks star forward Patrick Kane has had quite a year. The precocious youngster scored his first hat trick, his rejuvenated team made it to the Western Conference Finals, and he scored the cover of EA Sports’ NHL 2010. All the pieces of athletic superstardom were coming into place for Kane, and he was poised to take the sports world by storm.

Patrick Kane

(This is the face of evil.)

There was only one problem - everyone knows that real superstars gotta have street cred and a rap sheet, and poor Buffalo-bred Patrick Kane had neither. What’s a young hockey player to do? A bar brawl was out of the question (Kane’s only 20), and killing people is only OK if you play in the NFL. Last night, though, Kane took the first step towards that much-coveted rap sheet by beating up a Buffalo cabbie and breaking his glasses over…wait for it…twenty whole cents. Baby steps, Patrick.

Read more…

Meet Hilary Rhoda - Mark Sanchez’s Photo Friend

• Wondering who that bikini-clad brunette babe is in Mark Sanchez’s GQ photoshoot? Wonder no more - say hello to Hilary Rhoda.

Hilary Rhoda

• The L.A. Clippers win the 1st pick in the NBA lottery. Can’t wait to see how they screw it up this time!

Najeh Davenport won’t take any crap from thieves trying to steal his car.

Joe Montana gets a coaching gig with his son’s high school football team.

• It’s funny when a Mets fan loses a gold tooth in a Citi Field toilet. It’s even funnier when the same fan gets her arm stuck in the same toilet.

Read more…

Doll Day Afternoon: The Shame Of Patrick Kane

Patrick Kane is wishing right about now that he’d tested positive for steroids, or at least been caught with a transvestite hooker. But not this. No, not this. In one of his weaker moments, the Chicago Blackhawks wunderkind admitted that as a child he was forced to play with dolls.

Patrick Kane sisters mom dad

By his three sisters. Kane, whose hat trick in Game 6 of the Western Conference semifinals helped the Blackhawks advance to the finals against Detroit, couldn’t get his three sisters to play sports unless he played dolls with them. And that included tea parties. (Susie Derkins from Calvin & Hobbes approves.)

Read more…

Speed Read: It Looks Like The NHL Is Finally Back

Two Game 6 classics in one night? An OT winner from the Caps that guarantees an Ovie-Crosby grudge match on Wednesday night? A 12-goal outburst in front of an insane crowd at the United Center that cemented the Blackhawks’ return to relevance once and for all? Sorry NBA, Monday night was owned by the NHL.

Blackhawks celebrate

First, in Pittsburgh, Dave Steckel’s sweet tip-in of Brooks Laich’s wrister from the point 6:22 into OT saved the Capitals’ season and silenced an Igloo crowd that was ready to celebrate a return trip to the conference finals.

Sidney Crosby’s tying goal with just over four minutes left in regulation gave the Penguins the momentum back after blowing a lead earlier in the period. But in the end, Marc-Andre Fleury was just a little too shaky. He only stopped 19 of 24 shots on the night while his Washington counterpart Simeon Varlamov outplayed him yet again, turning aside 38 of 42. The NEW YORK TIMES sums it all up better than I can:

Five one-goal decisions in six games, three overtimes and 41 goals, with Alex Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby striking for 13 and assisting on 10 others. The Capitals and the Penguins have played a marvelous Eastern Conference semifinal series, and after Washington’s 5-4 overtime victory Monday, it will continue, fittingly, to Game 7 at Verizon Center on Wednesday.

That just about says it all.

Caps celebrate

Meanwhile, in Chicago, Vancouver rallied from a 3-1 deficit to take leads of 4-3 and 5-4 in the third period.  The Canucks thought the last lead might be enough to force a Game 7, but the Blackhawks went nuts in the final seven minutes, scoring three times to take a 7-5 win and advance to the Western Conference finals for the first time since 1995. 21-year-old Chicago captain Jonathan Toews scored twice, and 20-year-old Patrick Kane’s rocket of a backhander with 3:43 left gave him a hat trick and sealed the deal for the Hawks (Kane actually overslept on Monday and missed the morning skate). Think this team has a bright future?

As recently as two seasons ago, the Hawks were a failing franchise that could barely fill half of the United Center. Now, there isn’t a tougher ticket in town and the team went over the million mark in attendance for the season last night. As if all this isn’t enough, they’re likely going to be facing the Detroit Red Wings in the next round (provided the Wings can win one of two against Anaheim). And, I’m just going to throw it out there now: if they do play the Wings, I’m saying there’s a 50% chance that at least one fan is going to die in an incident directly related to that series. I’ve been to regular season games between those teams at the UC that have seen near riots in the 300 level. I’ve heard Hawks fans start a rousing “De-troit sucks” chant during a game against the L.A. Kings. They’ve been waiting for this for years.

Oh yeah, the NBA playoffs were on the schedule last night, too. The LeBrons finally put the Atlanta Hawks out of their misery with a ho-hum 84-74 win to wrap up another sweep. It actually was a pretty close game, and guys like Delonte West and Mo Williams stepped up with big contributions down the stretch to hold off a scrappy Atlanta squad that just didn’t have enough healthy guys to compete. The Cavs are 8-0 in the playoffs, with all of the wins coming by double digits.

In Dallas, Dirk Nowitzki had 44 points (one for every alias used by his fianceé), including 19 in the fourth quarter, as the Mavs shook off a crapload of technical fouls and stayed alive with a 119-117 win over the Nuggets. Dallas trailed by 10 at halftime and for much of the second half as well, but finally took the lead on a Dirk jumper with less than three minutes left. Nowitzki’s heroics overshadowed Carmelo Anthony’s 41 points, 11 rebounds, 3 assists, and 5 steals. Denver’s still up 3-1 and doesn’t look all that beatable at home against the Mavs, so don’t look for this one to be coming back to Dallas.

• At this point, I think the possibility of getting taunted on YouTube would be more of a deterrent than a yellow card for taking a ridiculous dive in soccer. West Ham’s David di Michele boned a breakaway against Liverpool on Saturday so bad that he had to act like someone tripped him, and nobody was buying it (he needs to attend the Drogba School of Diving). THE SPOILER has the video.

Randy Johnson gave up three homers in five innings but did enough to earn his 298th career win. If he can squeeze two more out of his arm before it falls off, he may just be the last pitcher to ever reach that mark. (Do you see CC Sabathia winning 15 games a year until 2022? Me neither)

• The duo of former Miami Dolphin cheerleaders came up just a bit short in their quest to win the Amazing Race. Jaime and Cara would’ve been the first all-female duo to win, but they finished second to the Asian brother-sister lawyers.

Dolphins cheerleaders Amazing Race

Chipper Jones loved Shea Stadium so much that he hyperextended his elbow on Sunday so he didn’t have to play at Citi Field last night. Larry even claimed last night that the two seats he purchased from Shea before it was a pile of rubble never made it to him in Atlanta, but the Mets countered that the chairs had indeed been delivered and signed for by a Mr. Jones, according to the NY DAILY NEWS.

• Giants closer Brian Wilson (not the guy who stayed in bed for two years) is a bit miffed at Casey Blake. Blake, who’s not a big fan of showmanship by other players, mockingly made the gesture that Wilson makes after a successful save after he took him deep on Sunday afternoon. Well, it turns out that Wilson’s seemingly brash gesture is a tribute to his Christian faith and to his late father. Not only does this make Blake a bit of an a-hole, but Aubrey Huff’s fists pumps after taking Joba Chamberlain out of the yard were way funnier.

• The silly scheme to keep Rachel Alexandra from running in the Preakness Stakes has been squashed, and the filly will run with the big boys on Saturday. Incidentally, Rachel Nichols‘ maiden name was Alexander, so expect Rachel Alexandra to start following around a horse named Brett Favra sometime next week.

• While John Calipari has trees exhumed from his new yard, the Kentucky Wildcat cheerleaders recently got back from spring break. And, by the looks of these photos (courtesy of UNCOACHED), they had a pretty good time:

Kentucky cheerleaders

• A New Jersey teenager has been suspended for hosting an NCAA Tournament-style bracket to pick his high school’s hottest girl. Must’ve been brutal to end up in the play-in game in that one.

David Cone is now on the phone personally trying to sell the expensive seats at Yankee Stadium, according to CAN’T STOP THE BLEEDING. I suppose that means he can get his wife into the ballpark, unlike some Yankee legends/broadcasters.

• Guess who Peter King says is the best team in the NFL going into next year? It’s not the Steelers.

Who ya got in Game 7?

View Results

Female NHL Fans Take a Few Blind Shots Today

An odd conflagration of opinion about female sports fans (especially of the NHL variety) hit our newsreader today, ranking them as either floozy or f’d up. We struggled with this seeming regression and now choose to share our troubles with you, kind reader. First: the floozies.

Elisha Cuthbert tries to kill a man with a hockey stick

(We don’t blame you for feeling a little violent today, Elisha)

LARRY BROWN SPORTS caught young Blackhawks stud Patrick Kane on SPORTING NEWS RADIO, being asked about the quality of groupie he encounters as a professional athlete. He ranks the Russian and Swedish girls highly and likes that Canadian girls know who he is. You can practically hear the radio host elbowing him in the ribs and winking.

We guess this is interesting on some level; it’s certainly part of a life we could never be a part of, so it does have a “Wild Kingdom” quality. (”Much like the NHL groupie stalks her unwitting prey, you too can hunt down the protection your family deserves with Mutual of Omaha…”) And, hey, good for Patrick Kane for living life to the fullest. Still, this is the best we could do on the topic?

(Your wife… uh, is she a sport, hmm?)

And now how female sports fans must be crazy:

Read more…