Michaels: ‘Sooner Or Later 69 Will Be In Your Face’

It’s one of broadcasting’s great truths: Sooner or later, if you’re on the air long enough, you will have your Howard Cosell moment. Cosell, of course, had his a career’s worth of work nearly obliterated by one unfortunate phrase during a 1983 Monday Night Football game, when he blurted during an Alvin Garrett scamper, “Look at that little monkey run!” Fans of the Redskins’ wide receiver, who is black, were not amused.

Al Michaels

What Al Michaels’ faux paux during Sunday night’s game between the Vikings and Cardinals lacked in racial undertones it gained in hilarity, as at one point he noted of the Vikings’ Jared Allen (who wears No. 69): “Sooner or later, 69 will be in your face.” Indeed. Get that audio to Canton, pronto. And the porn hall of fame, is there is such a thing.

Audio following the jump. Read more…

When Animals Attack: Mike Tirico MNF Mosquito

Mike Tirico mosquito encounter

You’ve got to hand it to Mike Tirico; he’s a true professional. Even when attacked by a ravenous mosquito, he never loses focus on the job at hand. That insect is sucking the very lifeblood from the ESPN broadcaster; perhaps even siphoning off a microscopic percentage of his considerable talent … hey, there’s a lot about the culicidae family of insects that science has yet to understand.

But Tirico never flinches. Video of this shocking attack following the jump. Read more…

FYI: Jon Gruden’s Greatest Homoerotic Moments

Outsports.com breaks down sports media like no other, and has an update on one of its most prolific members of the homoerotic comment Hall of Fame: Jon Gruden.

Jon Gruden John Daly

(Dude.)

Before we get to Gruden’s performance last night, let’s do a little fact-checking first. Or in Gruden’s case, make that ab-checking - as Tampa Bay coach in 2002:

The meeting was brief, the request bizarre. Tampa Bay Coach Jon Gruden didn’t ask [quarterback] Rob Johnson to throw a pass or even set foot on the football field. A stack of videotapes told Gruden everything he needed to know. Well, almost everything.

“He asked me to lift my shirt to see my abs,” said Johnson, 29. “He’s just crazy like that. He wanted to see how hard I’ve worked.”

“I’ll be the first to say I like this guy,” said Gruden. “I see something in this guy.”

Rob. Johnson.

Can’t say Gruden had a lot of company on that one.

Now onto the coach’s performance in the two way mirrored darkly lit booth last night…

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Live TV, Profane NFL T-Shirt Messages, And You

Lou Grant would never have tolerated this.

KSTP-TV in St. Paul was quite excited when it won the rights to all three Vikings games on Monday Night Football this season. If only the director of their “Hot Seat” segment was as sharp-eyed as Brett Favre seemed to be during the game. In case you’re not sure what the first word is on that guy’s shirt in the background, a NSFW closeup without the censor strip — plus the video link — follows the jump. Read more…

Alyssa Milano’s MLB Exes Finally Find Success?

• Has the Curse of Alyssa Milano finally been lifted from MLB pitchers?

Curse of Alyssa Milano

• What better way to kick off the college football season than by trading really bad rival-bashing songs back and forth?

• Green Bay Packers LB Nick Barnett shares his shopping habits - such as getting his wife a Thumper.

Tony Kornheiser talks about all the quivering he did during his “Monday Night Football” days.

• Chelsea FC will have to wait awhile before signing any new players.

Read more…

Kornheiser “Would Quiver” With Fear On MNF Set

If you don’t already listen to Bill Simmons‘ podcast, we recommend doing so (if you’ve got the 50 minutes a day to spare, anyway). As chic as it is to hate Simmons, he’s one of the best sports podcasters in the business, and engages his (high-profile) guests as well as anybody. Credit where it’s due and all.

His latest guest yesterday was ESPN’s Tony Kornheiser, and as two neurotic writers are so often wont to do, they spoke frequently about their own fears. For Kornheiser, it’s flying. And while TK wouldn’t explicitly cite it as a reason for his departure from the show, it does sound like his departure was awfully good for his mental well-being.

Read more…

If You Question Jay Glazer, Be Ready To Fight Him

Amid yesterday’s unmentionable unfortunateness was vindication for FOX SPORTS’ Jay Glazer. When he’s not being Michael Strahan’s little bobo and riding around on his back, Glazer’s making a name for himself as the best reporter in the NFL, consistently sonning ESPN’s cadre of mic-holding talking heads.

Jay Glazer
(This? This is his fightin’ beard!)

That dynamic came to a head earlier this weekend when ESPN was showing preseason games and the announcers began trying to mock and marginalize Glazer for his reports that Minnesota was still going to sign Sports Voldemort. Obviously, that blew up in their faces, but the sentiment wasn’t lost on Glazer. His totally reasonable response? “Why don’t you say it with your fists!”

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Week In Review: QB Sanchez Does GQ, Gets Girl

• He hasn’t even thrown a pass yet, but Jets QB Mark Sanchez is already cementing his status as a Big Apple sex symbol with a GQ photo spread:

Mark Sanchez Hilary Rhoda GQ shoot

And Hilary Rhoda, the bikini-clad babe sharing the snapshot spotlight, is also apparently Mark’s new main squeeze.

Tony Kornheiser gives up his “Monday Night Football” gig, so ESPN tabs Jon Gruden as his replacement. It should be fun, considering what the ex-Bucs coach has said in the past about the Worldwide Leader.

• Will recent sex scandals cause Australian rugby to ban its cheerleaders?

• The Pepsi Center double-books a Nuggets-Lakers playoff game & WWE’s “Monday Night Raw” on the same night. Of course, Vince McMahon is going to have lots of fun with this Denver Debacle.

• Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger is hoping her boyfriend, Formula One star Lewis Hamilton, will soon race with her to the wedding altar.

Read more…

Kornheiser’s MNF Role Kaput, Here Comes Chucky

Tony Kornheiser has called it quits with his “Monday Night Football” gig. In his place will be ex-Buccaneers coach Jon Gruden.

Tony Kornheiser Jon Gruden

• And we’re sure Chucky will get along great with his new employer, since he’s had so many nice things to say about the Worldwide Leader before.

Hedo Turkoglu’s heroics help the Orlando Magic curse the Celtics to no title repeat this year.

Padraig Harrington is now taking golf tips from “Happy Gilmore“.

• In response to the Matthew Johns group sex scandal, some are calling for the banishment of cheerleaders from Australian pro rugby matches.

Read more…

Jon Gruden Has A Rich History Of Ripping ESPN

It was troubling when ESPN assimilated Bobby Knight last year, but one thought buoyed my spirits through those dark and troubling times: At least the Worldwide Leader will never get Jon Gruden. The (now former) Tampa Bay Bucs coach would never turn to the dark side; he despises everything that ESPN stands for. How wrong I was (shakes head sadly).

Jon Gruden

Fame is a cruel mistress, and if you’re not careful, you can find yourself becoming the thing you hate most. Gruden may think that we’ve forgotten his little skirmishes with ESPN in the past, but no, the Intertubes never forget. Chucky’s history with the WWL has been tempestuous at best, and I’ve got the quotes to prove it. Shall we begin? Read more…