Mr. Dykstra: Where’s Your Son’s $737,000 Bonus?

Today is Len Dykstra’s 47th birthday, and apparently to celebrate, he’s launched another rip-off investment site to steal your money. (Masochists: find it yourself.)

Cutter Dykstra. What did Dad Len Do With His $737,000 bonus?

(Cutter Dykstra: What did Dad Len Do With His $737,000 bonus?)

Case you don’t know, Dykstra filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy last July, listing fewer than $50,000 in assets against $10 to $50 million dollars in liabilities.

But three months before that filing, Dykstra told Mike Fish of ESPN.com that his net worth was, “60 million.” If that was indeed true, Dykstra succeeded in losing up to $110M in around 90 days.

Dykstra not only hoodwinked the media about his fake investment ability, he may have deceived his son. Cutter Dykstra was the 54th pick in the 2008 MLB draft by the Milwaukee Brewers. For signing with Milwaukee, Cutter received a $737,000 bonus from the club.

In July, 2008, Cutter did an interview with Brewers blog BrewCrewBall.com and talked about what he did with his bonus money.

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City Of Milwaukee Pigeons Standing At The Ready

The Milwaukee Brewers announced today that a statue of Bud Selig is being cast and will be unveiled at Miller Park in August.

Bud Selig gives himself a statue at Miller Park

Whose idea was it? Tom Haudricourt of the MILWAUKEE JOURNAL-SENTINEL gives us a clue. Read more…

The Disappearing Greinke-To-Brewers Rumor

Fox 6 in Milwaukee Tweeted this tonight: “Internet whisper says Brewers have completed deal for Royals SP Zack Greinke. Brewers supposedly sending Royals JJ Hardy, Manny Parra, Mat Gamel & Angel Salome !!! … We called Brewers GM Doug Melvin to either confirm or deny, but he’s not answering or responding right now.

Zack Greinke Traded To Milwaukee Brewers

As a long-suffering Royals fan, you can imagine how I felt when I saw those Tweets. So I immediately did a Google News search and this is the only result I found:

Zack Greinke Traded To Milwaukee Brewers

One result? From Bleacher Report? One guess when I clicked…

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Oh God, Not More Home Run Celebration Shows

For the record, the Milwaukee Brewers don’t play the San Francisco Giants again until next season, probably sometime in May. That’s when we’ll find out if Matt Cain offers a gentle high-and-tight message to Prince Fielder for the little show we see in the photo below.

Prince Fielder

Also for the record, the San Diego Padres are feverishly working on their own choreographed home run celebration performance art. This is all hypothetical of course, because in order to do it, your team actually has to hit a home run. But the Padres have a couple of routines in the can just in case. You’re not going to believe what they are. Read more…

Prince Fielder’s Deodorant Simply Is Not Working

Not that I want to relive this pain, but Prince Fielder’s walkoff homer in the 12th on Sunday was notable for a couple of reasons. For one, it put a nice tasty winning icing on a game in which the Brewers turned their fourth triple play in franchise history — an around-the-horn gem in the sixth.

Prince Fielder

Then, Fielder won it with a line drive to right (his 37th), with he and his teammates celebrating the win with this Great Moment in Choreography when he reached home plate. You’d think a team this well rehearsed would be closer than 14 games out in the NL Central. But the more serious implication is this: Will this begin a new trend in creative home plate celebration in MLB? Read more…

Week In Review: Brooks & Cecilia at the X-Games

Brooks gleams the cube, as he & SbB Girl Cecilia check out the X-Games.

Brooks and SbB Girl Cecilia At X Games

Percy Harvin regales U of Florida recruits with wild Gator tales of partying, pot smoking, and coach choking.

• Speaking of the SEC, does Matthew Stafford’s U of Georgia girlfriend have enhanced gazongas?

• Fresh off the LeBron Dunkgate comes the Tiger Woods Fartgate.

• Detroit Pistons rookie DaJuan Summers places a Twitter bet with porn star Valerie Luxe on who can get 4,000 followers the fastest.

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Fuming Fielder Attempts To Attack LA Clubhouse

Prince Fielder gets royally p.o.’ed at Guillermo Mota for plunking him, then tries to crash the Dodgers’ clubhouse after the game.

Prince Fielder

(Look out! Here he comes!)

• Tulsa, Oklahoma, has hopes to host the 2020 Olympics. If they can get a spokesperson like Katarina Witt, then we might just listen.

Reggie Wayne comes to Colts camp in a dump truck & decked out in construction worker gear. Your move, Clinton Portis.

• The NHL plans to suspend & not pay any players who get hurt during any Olympic summer training camp.

Frank Deford dresses down ESPN, calling the Worldwide Leader a “journalistic disgrace“.

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Speed Read: Fielder Storms Dodgers Clubhouse

It seems like only yesterday when Dodger pitcher Guillermo Mota was plunking Mike Piazza, then scampering away into his own dugout like George Costanza fleeing a fire to escape the slugger’s wrath. That was 2003, but Mota — in his second stint with the Dodgers — was the sacrificial lamb once again in last night’s 17-4 win over the Brewers in L.A.

Guillermo Mota

The Brewers had hit Manny Ramirez earlier in the game, presumably for being Manny and admiring a slump-busting home run he hit as part of the Dodgers’ biggest home scoring outburst since 1979. So, with Ramon Troncoso warming in the bullpen with a 13-run lead and two outs in the ninth, Mota beaned Prince Fielder. Mota was tossed immediately and a befuddled Fielder had words for him as he left the field. Troncoso came in for the last out, but the situation was far from over.

After the game, Prince decided he wanted to go have a friendly chat with Mota and the rest of the Dodgers, so he tried to storm their clubhouse. Like, actually go in there and try and throw down, I guess. Fortunately, a combination of security guards and Brewer teammates were able to keep him out. Prince was soon safely in his regular spot in front of the postgame spread. Mota, once again displaying mighty courage, was nowhere to be found afterward and left Russell Martin to speak for him.

Prince Fielder

This is the sort of thing that happens all the time in baseball, but two aspects were troublesome: One, obviously, is Fielder’s attempt to actually go in the opposing clubhouse and get in a confrontation. Baseball has always had their “codes” and all that, but it’s supposed to stay on the field. Fielder’s choice to escalate the situation showed pretty poor judgment. But I don’t think Joe Torre is off the hook here. Hittting Fielder wasn’t the problem. But the Dodgers should’ve at least preserved the conceit that the whole thing wasn’t pre-planned. It’s hard to say “it just got away from him” when you have a pitcher warming up in the bullpen with one out remaining in a complete blowout. Clearly this was not only permitted by Torre, but presumably was encouraged, which may earn him a suspension.

*UPDATE* CBS 2 in L.A. has video of Prince’s attempted post-game visit.

Guillermo Mota Mike Piazza

(I don’t think Mota wants to run into Piazza at a Dodger reunion any time soon)

Meanwhile, things may have finally hit rock bottom for the Mets this year. Francisco Rodriguez blew a two-run lead in the ninth, then Albert Pujols hit a granny in the 10th to lead the Cards to a 12-7 win at CitiField. It was Pujols’ fifth grand slam this season, and he has hit six homers in his last 11 at-bats with the bases loaded. Even more frustrating for Mets fans, pitcher Sean Green hit the previous batter, Mark DeRosa, with the bases loaded to allow Pujols to come to the plate. This with two out in a tie game. To add injury to injury, as the Mets have been doing all season, Luis Castillo sprained his ankle on the dugout steps.

Albert pujols grand slam

(”Hey Albert, up here. Up top, bro. Do you see me here? No, dude, not the guy in the white shirt.”)

Horrifying news coming out of the Pittsburgh area last night, as a man opened fire at an LA Fitness gym in the southwest suburb of Collier, killing at least three people and wounding at least 10 others. At this time, it’s assumed that the gunman then killed himself. The PITTSBURGH TRIBUNE-REVIEW has the scary details:

Allegheny County police Superintendent Charles Moffatt said the gunman may have fired 50 shots at the 20-22 women inside the room at the time before turning one of his guns on himself and taking his own life. There were perhaps another 50 people in various other parts of the facility at the time.

Moffatt said the gunman left a note inside his gym bag that indicated he expected to die in the carnage.

Pittsburgh gym shooting

From all accounts, this seems like the sort of attack that is nearly impossible to stop. The 49-year-old gunman, who has not been identified as I write this, was a member of the club who was able to gain access simply by swiping in. It could, however, not be as entirely random as it looks now, as he specifically went into a room where an aerobics class called “Latin Impact” was taking place. He only shot women who were in that room, then apparently killed himself.

Despite the chaotic scene, a number of people lent whatever help they could:

Richard Walker went to the gym to play basketball with a group of friends. Two of them left carrying shooting victims, both women, over their shoulders, Walker said.

They got 50 yards from the gym’s side entrance, and took cover between cars as soon as they reached the edge of the parking lot, he said two hours after the shooting, his Oklahoma All-State T-shirt covered in dried blood down its right side.

“They were like losing blood and almost freaking out,” said Walker, 23, of Carnegie, who recently moved from Tulsa. “I just knew you put pressure on the wound.”

Thoughts go out to all the victims. Let’s hope all of the wounded are just that, and don’t take any turn for the worse.

Pittsburgh gym shooting

On that note, the show goes on:

• NBA schedules are out, and the Celtics host the Cavs in the marquee matchup of opening night.

• Because nobody asked, Clinton Portis wants you to know that he’s not gay:

I don’t think there’s a woman in the United States of America that would say I’m gay. So, you know, I don’t hang around men.”

• Based on this video posted by NESW SPORTS, I don’t think LeBron James would even be a top 5 pick in my Monday night pickup game. At least he doesn’t have to worry about getting dunked on again:

Joe Posnanski is the newest senior writer at Sports Illustrated. He’ll still write for the K.C. STAR on occasion, but the exodus from traditional print outlets continues.

• The PHOENIX NEW TIMES has dug up records suggesting that the city of Glendale and the NHL have essentially been preparing to hand the Phoenix Coyotes over to Jerry Reinsdorf for months, well before the team began looking for a new owner. Such a deal is bad for the owners, who could make much more money selling the team to a group that would move the team to Canada.

• Once the most talked-about guy in baseball, Roy Halladay is now just another guy losing to the Yankees.

Drew Carey is excited about tonight’s FC Barcelona-Seattle Sounders match at Qwest Field. But the real gem is at the end of the story: Seattle midfielder Freddie Ljungberg says he missed a penalty kick in the MLS All-Star Game because of a migraine triggered by eating food with red wine in it. Oh, soccer players.

red wine

(When you need a guy to miss a penalty kick, accept no substitute)

 • Predictably, it looks like the NFL is going to be the first major league to draft a policy addressing the use of Twitter by its players, according to the WASHINGTON POST.

• Stolen golf carts. Guys peeing on trailers. No, it has nothing to do with Donald Trump. It’s just your average week at the (no longer) Buick Open.

• I think Jennifer Love Hewitt would probably be the #1 pick in my Monday night pickup hoops game if she showed up wearing this:

Jennifer Love Hewitt

If you could have one current MLB player up with the bases loaded, who would it be?

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MLB Players Are Scared Of Staying In Milwaukee

The Milwaukee Brewers have seen a resurgence over the past three years after sitting mostly dormant for the 20 or so years following their lone World Series appearance. And while you might attribute that to such things as developing good talent or having Bud Selig less involved, the real answer is pretty clear — the hotel road teams use in Milwaukee is totally haunted!

Pfister hotel

The Pfister is the hotel in question, and it has hosted every U.S. president since McKinley. But a growing list of opposing players told the ASSOCIATED PRESS that they’d rather sleep in a tent on I-43 than spend another night in this place. The Brewers probably don’t mind the assistance from beyond, but don’t expect any of them to stay there either.

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Cuervo Girls Spiked From AVP Tour Appearances

• AVP fans will no longer be able to drink in the sights of the Cuervo Girls.

Cuervo Girls

(”Wait - we’re out of a job?!?!”)

• Brewers fans will finally get to see some great baseball at Miller Park - they’ll be showing “The Sandlot” in the stadium parking lot.

Michael Irvin sued for stealing reality show idea. Aren’t all reality shows stolen from something else anyway?

Cristiano Ronaldo shows off his macho fashion sense by sporting a pink cap on his head, a flower in his hair & pearls around his neck.

• Let the Lakers & Magic have their NBA Finals. Tony Parker will be just fine with a bikini-clad Eva Longoria in the French Riviera.

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