Michael Irvin Wore Hall of Fame Blazer During Sex

Fred Mitchell and David Kaplan of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE with a delightful anecdote from Michael Irvin this week:

Michael Irvin had sex in his Hall of Fame blazer

NFL Hall of Famer Michael Irvin on Wednesday chuckled as he told us about the tradition of championship players spending time with the Stanley Cup: “I remember when I was inducted into the Hall of Fame and they gave me my Hall of Fame yellow blazer.

I wore it for two straight days. Finally my wife was in bed and said she wanted to make love but that I had to take the coat off. I refused and kept the blazer on because I wanted to perform like a Hall of Famer on the field and off.”

Now think it’s a coincidence that it was Irvin who came up with the idea to bring NFL rookies to Canton every year?

And who knew Irvin and Ron Artest had so much in common? Artest after the Lakers won the NBA title two months ago: Read more…

NFL Laf: Breaking Down Irvin’s Nostril Breakdown

Current Ole Miss football player Kentrell Lockett Tweeted this NFL Draft and media analysis last night on his Twitter account:

Kentrell Lockett Tweets About The NFL Draft

(Account hacked? Katt Williams wanted for questioning.)

Lockett also provided an insightful observation about his former teammate, Jevan Snead, among other things. Read more…

ESPN: Rape Civil Claim ‘Expedited’ Irvin Firing?

Barry Horn of the DALLAS MORNING NEWS reports:

Michael Irvin and Jerry Jones

Michael Irvin has done his last radio show for ESPN 103.3.

“The show was not performing and we had previously determined to end the show,” ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz told me.

Krulewitz said news of a lawsuit filed in Fort Lauderdale alleging a rape in 2007 simply expedited the situation.

Irvin’s real crime with the radio station was falling ratings.

Irvin’s other employer, NFL Network, told me earlier this morning they had not decided if Irvin would work any more Super Bowl studios.

Stunning decision, at least from my perspective. As was ESPN’s decision to air the civil allegations against Irvin this morning on SportsCenter.

Read more…

Speed Read: “The T.O. Show” Predictably Lousy

For those of you who didn’t watch “The T.O. Show” on VH1 last night, consider yourselves the lucky few: like the residents of Johnstown who weren’t washed away by the giant flood, you somehow missed out on being carried away in a torrent of filth, muck and debris. For those of us contractually obligated to watch the show (this is why you should read contracts before agreeing to become a blogger), there’s no Red Cross volunteers coming to our rescue. We’re left shaking on the banks of the river as we try to comprehend what we just saw.

Terrell Owens

Maybe I’m being a bit over the top. But man, it wasn’t good.

To recap: Terrell Owens has a great body (honed by only the finest rubber bands your $19.95 can buy), and enjoys spending time showing it off. A lot of time showing it off. As in, going shirtless for about three-quarters of the show.  But, as you would hear any good pitchman say, that’s not all.

Terrell Owens and friends

No VH1 “Celeb Reality” show can just be about following a celebrity around, so there has to be some sort of convoluted plot, and here the one for “The T.O. Show”: his “best friends” and “publicists” Kita Williams and Monique Jackson have convinced him to move to Los Angeles during the off-season to “find himself.” Which - according to the first episode - means the following things:

  • Spending more than $100,000 on new diamond earrings.
  • Hooking up with the trashy real estate agent who rents him the mansion he’s staying in during the show.  (I know that the market is tough, but this seems like excessively aggressive sales tactics, although maybe now is the right time to buy.)
  • Going out to a club with said earrings, meeting a bunch of trashy women and inviting them home to “party” with him.
  • His half-assed attempt to get back together with his ex-fiancee, who seems like the only semi-intelligent person on the show by getting the hell out of Dodge.

Somehow T.O. has managed to create a show with less likable characters than “Rock of Love” and even fewer morally redeeming qualities as “I Love Money.” It’s an exercise in egotistical wish fulfillment - T.O. is famous and wants a show, so someone had to give it to him - and the early reviews have been particularly brutal:

Terrell Owens is one beautiful man and he knows it, oh, Lord, he knows it, and so do his publicists, Kita Williams and Monique Jackson, the forces behind “The T.O. Show,” which premieres tonight on VH1. Why else would the publicity art include a nude portrait of the football star, why else would Owens spend at least 60% of his time in front of the camera shirtless?

Good thing too, because the sculpted pecs, mighty shoulders and perfect abs are just about the only thing the show has going for it. No, wait, I take that back; he has a lovely smile as well.  - LOS ANGELES TIMES

Your mama never warned you to watch out for reality TV, but it can be poison. You sense its brain destructiveness when you get up in the morning, thinking, “I can’t wait to see if T.O. makes it with the real estate agent.”

The T.O. Show is so shallow mosquitoes couldn’t breed in it, though it appears some of the humans are trying to, as Terrell Owens joins up with two publicists, who are also supposed to be his best friends. -PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER

What VH1 gets out of the deal, frankly, is less clear, other than a strange amalgam of soap-opera pathos and jock-like bravado, with Owens taking marching orders from his ubiquitous “publicists,” who, given their time commitment to the athlete, surely must have no other clients. - VARIETY

…and don’t even get me started on T.O.’s bodyguard Pablo. Just…no.

Meanwhile, while”The T.O. Show” was premiering, another type of muck was being dredged up in Pittsburgh. PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that Ben Roethlisberger is the subject of a civil suit filed by a hotel employee in Washoe County, NV who says that in July 2008, the Super Bowl MVP called her into his room to fix her TV, and then “forced her to have sex with him.

Ben Roethlisberger

Using a little bit of local knowledge, based on the locations given and the date, I’m going to assume this allegedly happened when Roethlisberger was in South Lake Tahoe last year for the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship. And if this sounds a lot to you like the allegations made against Kobe Bryant in Colorado a couple of years ago…you’re not the only one. Of course, the big difference here is that these are civil allegations - no criminal charges have ever been filed by Roethlisberger’s accuser.

Finally, former North Carolina wide receiver and point guard Jason Holley was revealed as the winner of Michael Irvin’s “4th and Long” reality TV show on Spike, and with it has earned a shot with the Dallas Cowboys during their training camp. Is it possible to do a reality show about football and not have the Cowboys involved? So help me, if Alvin Harper gets a show, I’m never watching TV again.

Other sports stories from last night:

  • ESPN’s Jayson Stark has the details of Pedro Martinez’s contract with the Philadelphia Phillies, and as expected it’s heavily incentive-laden. He is only guaranteed $1 million for the rest of the season, but could make more than double that if he meets certain longevity and performance-based milestones.
  • Pedro Martinez, Nelson de la Rosa

    (Can Pedro keep his midget well-cared for on $1 million a year?)

  • Anyone who questions whether or not Jeremy Mayfield is hooked on crystal meth - as NASCAR and his stepmother claims - should check out this video from a few years ago of him giddily blowing up watermelons and full gas cans. Nope, that doesn’t sound like something a meth head would do at all.

  • Maybe John Smoltz should have retired last season so he could go into the Hall of Fame with former Braves teammates Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine instead of trying a comeback with the Red Sox, if last night is any indication: he gave up three home runs as the Rangers (and another former Braves pitcher in Kevin Millwood) beat Boston, 6-3.
  • A few weeks ago, Quinten Richardson was traded by the Memphis Grizzlies to the Los Angeles Clippers, which pretty much defines “sideways movement.” Last night the Clippers turned around and shipped him to the Minnesota Timberwolves, somehow going from bad to worse. On the plus side, Mark Madsen’s back in Lipstick City. Watch out on the dance floor.
  • I guess it’s a job: former big league manager Terry Collins lands a new gig - leading the Duluth Huskies of the Northwoods League. Is this a step up or a step down from managing Team China?
  • What to do if you’re eight months pregnant but want to hang out at the sports bar watching your favorite team play. Get a Maternity Jersey, of course. Or as they are otherwise known, “Rich Garces Style.”
  • To commemorate the 40th Anniversary of the Moon Landing, the Houston Astros wore special patches and caps. In addition, they also went out and got loaded on Tang and vodka.
  • Mississippi State might have a first-year coach in Dan Mullen, but they’re already in midseason form in terms of arrests. Leading running back Anthony Dixon has been arrested on a DUI charge, the fifth Bulldog to be nabbed by police this off-season.
  • Police have arrested a man who shot and paralyzed former NFL player Michael Woods 27 years ago and charged him with aggravated murder after Woods died from a related kidney infection six weeks ago,
  • Tom Watson might have lost out on his bid to win the British Open at age 59, but his equipment sponsor Adams Golf might be a big winner, as their stock price has risen 18 percent since Watson took the tournament lead on Friday.

Who was the least likable person on “The T.O. Show”

View Results

Cowboys DE Hid From Coach To Let Backup Play?

We demand certain things from our athletes, including a singular need to play as much and as often as possible, consequences be damned. What story’s greater than Willis Reed limping out of the tunnel on a severely sprained ankle to help secure the 1970 NBA Finals or David Eckstein winning the 2006 World Series MVP despite having his legs sawed off at the kneecaps?

DeMarcus Ware hiding
(Not photoshopped. No sir. This actually happened.)

So when we hear stories like Greg Ellis telling Michael Irvin that DeMarcus Ware would take himself out of the game so Ellis could get more playing time, the alarms start going off. That’s not competitiveness! The balance of the sporting world is upset! Ed Werder has a boner because it’s bad news about the Cowboys!

One tiny problem, though; this is the Internet, where mountains of data about really insignificant stuff like football games gets kept, and fact-checking is really easy. Read more…

Week In Review: Michael Irvin, King of Strip Clubs

• Say what you will about Michael Irvin, but he sure knows how to help people have a good time at gentlemen’s clubs.

Michael Irvin

• Tennis commentator Michael Stich comments that the female competitors at Wimbledon are only there to “sell sex“. Why would he think such a scandalous thought?

• Former WWF wrestler Brian Blair shows what Father’s Day means to him by beating up his two sons.

Sean Avery gets a taste of his own sloppy seconds, in the form of Jets QB Mark Sanchez’s supposed girlfriend Hilary Rhoda.

• Popular Iowa high school football coach Ed Thomas is shot & killed by a former player - a former player who should have been in police custody at the time.

Read more…

Artie Lange Is A Genius, According To Artie Lange

Artie Lange took a little time off from admiring donuts and chain smoking Marlboros to appear on Michael Irvin’s radio show on Tuesday, and revealed what we’d pretty much assumed all along. His profanity-filled, over-the-top grossout performance during the debut airing of HBO’s “Joe Buck Live” last week was pretty much custom ordered by HBO and Buck himself.

Artie Lange

I kind of figured as much when Buck made little attempt to rein him in during the broadcast itself, then professed mild outrage over Lange in subsequent interviews. But if you believe Lange — and there’s no reason not to, really — Buck got exactly what he asked for, and his outrage is fake. Read more…

Michael Irvin: Generous Guy @ Gentlemen’s Clubs

• Our own Pete Gaines reminisces about the time he & his buddies ended up cavorting at a Chicago strip club with Michael Irvin.

Michael Irvin live nude girls

• The Red Wings have released Chris Chelios, but that doesn’t mean the 47-year-old is ready to hang up his skates just yet.

Sean Avery supposedly gets his own serving of sloppy seconds in the form of Mark Sanchez’s supermodel girlfriend Hilary Rhoda.

• Egypt’s soccer team denies being robbed by hookers, blames the media for distracting them to defeat.

Brock Lesnar thanks God, not steroids, that he’s “built like a black man”, yet doesn’t care too much for President Obama.

Read more…

The Allegedly True Michael Irvin Strip Club Story

Without a doubt, Hall of Fame wide receiver Michael Irvin has been one of the most flamboyant personalities in sports over the past 25 years. Whether one discusses his incredible football abilities, his even more incredible mouth, his affinity for drugs, his attempts to stab teammates, or his generosity to those in need, there’s a larger-than-life Michael Irvin story for nearly every occasion.

Michael Irvin

Well, add another one to the pile.  Last night, I’m following blogging maestro Spencer Hall’s live-Tweeting of Michael Irvin’s new show, 4TH AND LONG, when my memory jogs and I casually ask him, “Hey, did I ever tell you about the time Michael Irvin picked up our tab at the strip club?” You can see where this is headed.

Read more…

Artie Lange And The ‘Joe Buck Live’ Train Wreck

As the Orlando Magic and now Joe Buck can tell you, overtime can be a cruel mistress. The debut of HBO’s “Joe Buck Live” on Monday was notable for two reasons: The painful, knuckle-biting inexperience of the host, and spectacular warehouse fire of an appearance by MADtv alum and Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange. Much of the damage was done during the regular show, as we discussed in Speed Read this morning. But Lange really hit his stride in the Overtime segment afterward on HBO.COM.

Artie Lange

What you witnessed there was a man’s career imploding, and I’m not talking about Lange’s. While Buck tentatively stepped through the bulk of the show with fair to middling results — he’s a good interviewer, and not at all unfunny — his weakness in this format immediately became apparent as soon as Lange was allowed to talk. The talk radio bad boy was crude and obnoxious even by cable standards, especially in the Overtime segment. He ripped gays, made jokes about ejaculation; stuff that would make John Rocker blush. After attempting to spar with him a bit, Buck gave up; taking on the appearance of a Keystone Cop trying to arrest a bear.

Read more…