Clips Beat Boston, Enough To Drive You To A DUI

• The L.A. Clippers beat the Boston Celtics. First sign of the apocalypse?

Gabe Pruitt Celtics Ricky Davis Clippers

• And Brooks was there, checking out the Staples Center’s Chairman’s Club - while the Celts’ Gabe Pruitt should have called a cab.

• Today’s tale of horrendous hazing & alleged sexual assault comes to us courtesy of the Taft High School boys’ volleyball team.

• One ping pong punk puts on a celebratory dance routine that would make Ocho Cinco proud.

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SbB Caption Contest: Sandler & Allen Get Clipped

Hey readers! Time for another star-studded SbB Clever Caption Contest!

Today we catch sight of Adam Sandler & Marcus Allen sitting courtside at last night’s Clippers game at Staples Center, where … wait a sec. A Clippers game? Couldn’t they have at least waited ’til tomorrow to see Kobe & the Lakers take on Shaq & the Suns? But hold on - the Clips actually beat the Celtics? Maybe the sight of Marcus & Adam proved to be inspirational for L.A.’s NBA B-team to bring it’s A-Game. Anyway, here they are:

Adam Sandler Marcus Allen Clippers game

Think you can shield your eyes long enough from such an awesome display of star power to make an amusing quip? If so, submit your suggestions into the comments section linked below. Winner will be announced in the end-of-the-day recap, with a chance to get two tickets for the upcoming Sandler-Allen theatrical vehicle, “The Longest Yard II: Go Longer”.

Good luck and good writing! And if any Hollywood studio actually goes through with this production, we want our fair share of the net gross.

Blogs: Penthouse Pet Hounded By Marcus Allen

• This Trojan’s ribbing not for her pleasure: WITH LEATHER finds Marcus Allen hounding a Penthouse Pet:

Kimberly Williams Marcus Allen

• BLAZERS EVANGELIST knows just how bright your star is shining when you make the front page of Portland Monthly.

• Speaking of mad mags, SbBer Matt tips us off to SPORTS ILLUSTRATED knowing what Michael Vick would be up to 20 years down the line, based on this cover from July 27, 1987:

Sports Illustrated Pitbull Cover

• THE BIG LEAD tunes in to discovered audio of Mike Francesa’s verbal beatdown of the Worldwide Leader.

• POP ON THE POP believes A-Rod’s marriage may be (*shock!*) in trouble:

A-Rod F-Rod

• LARRY BROWN SPORTS rats out news that the Dolphins are becoming the AFC East’s version of the Bengals.

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING turns on & drops out to ESPN’s new NASCAR technology that will let viewers see the air:

ESPN NASCAR Freakout

• BUGS & CRANKS presents the (police) lineup for the MLB All-Felon team.

• MR. SUNSHINE has Las Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman telling the national media to lay off his wonderful city:

Oscar Goodman Ham

• BROWNS GAB is getting a little worried that Cleveland still hasn’t signed their top 3 draft picks.