Video of Lendale White on Pete Carroll: “F— Him” has video of an obviously inebriated LenDale White as he left Voyeur nightclub in Hollywood last weekend.

LenDale White Pete Carroll

White, who was with former USC teammate Dominique Byrd (off-camera), apparently hasn’t gotten over being cut by his former college coach Pete Carroll when White was briefly with the Seattle Seahawks last season. After a somewhat unintelligible question by the TMZ cameraman, White said: Read more…

Friar Tebow: Denver Rookie Gets Haircut Hazing

Denver Broncos running back LenDale White delighted in reporting on Twitter today about the haircut he and his teammates gave to rookie Tim Tebow:

Tim Tebow Friar Tuck Hazing Haircut

(Follow Brooks on Twitter for daily, real-time updates)

Nice to see hazing has gone non-denominational. Read more…

Speed Read: Steelers Salvage Opening Night Win

If anyone wanted to know the difference between college football and the NFL, you just needed to watch the two games last night. (At least the two that anyone cared about - sorry, Florda A&M at Winston-Salem State on ESPNU.) If you like offense, crazy plays and wild comebacks, then the Clemson at Georgia Tech game was for you. But if you prefer low-scoring, hard-hitting football that’s kind of not very exciting until the final five minutes, then the NFL kickoff game between Pittsburgh and Tennessee was for you. (Sorry, is my bias showing?)

Steelers vs Titans

First let’s talk about the Steelers’ 13-10 overtime victory. Plainly put, Pittsburgh had no reason to win this game. They could not run the ball, gaining a whopping 33 yards. (Note to the guy in my fantasy league bragging about “stealing” Rashard Mendenhall: eat it.) And between Jeff Reed almost shanking the game-tying 32-yard field goal into the offensive line’s backsides and Hines Ward fumbling after a reception took him inside the Titans’ five with a minute to go, they were teetering on disaster. Read more…

Untruths In Advertising: Candace Parker Edition

On my way home in a cab from a Lendale White-inspired evening, I read this Tweet from the lovely Candace Parker about her postgame meal plans:

Candace Parker Prefers In-N-Out

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I had originally planned to stopped by Trader Joe’s to pick up some Broccoli slaw and Almond milk, but as Ms. Parker tells us in this advertisement for adidas, “I’m definitely conscious of what I eat, especially during the season.

So, like Ms. Parker and the (former) Mr. White, I went animal-style instead.

LenDale White Drops 30 Pounds The No-Fun Way

It’s fair to say that LenDale White has been a rather, ahem, easy target for jokes. And tacklers. And paint balls. LenWhale, as he was affectionately known, routinely tipped the scales at over 260 pounds; though he was an effective goal-line option, his low yards per carry had many people thinking “bust.”

Lenwhale White
(”You’re looking good, LenDale.” “Thanks, man.” “You enjoying your new life?” “F**k no.”)

But White’s in training camp now, and he’s looking surprisingly svelte, as seen above (on the right, of course; nobody’s ever going to confuse him with speedy backfield partner Chris Johnson). He’s even below 230 pounds now - which could very well mean that now he’s just another average running back - but hey, he deserves some credit for dropping 30 pounds, right? Well, maybe; unfortunately, White’s diet may have most of us wondering if it was even worth it.

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Victoria’s Secret Model Marries Memphis Grizzly

• Another male fantasy flattened: Victoria’s Secret model Adriana Lima ties the knot with Memphis Grizzlies guard Marko Jaric.

Adriana Lima Marko Jaric

Life just isn’t fair sometimes.

Gina Carano makes a move to Maxim, while her bra is up for bid.

• The Nets’ Devin Harris makes a game-winning half-court shot to sink the Sixers - even after he was blocked the first time.

• Is it in you? Get Tiger Woods’ used Gatorade bottle for only $25,000.

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LenDale White Not Charged In V-Day Belt Beating

LenDale White’s belt was accused doing triple duty after a man alleged the Titans RB beat him with it on Valentine’s Day. (It was already doing double duty just holding up his pants. See, LenDale’s fat, is the joke here. It’s kind of the theme of this post.)

Lendale White

(Lendale and “Lunch”)

But Denver police have decided not to charge White with aggravated assault after reviewing the incident, in which White allegedly struck the man repeatedly with his belt during an altercation over a minor car accident. “The reason the case got dismissed is the evidence contradicts the statements,” an investigator said. I’m guessing the evidence is that had he removed his belt, White’s pants couldn’t have handled the strain on their own.

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Speed Read: NFL Commish Feels Your Fiscal Pain

Quiet night in sports as the NBA gears up for the All-Star weekend in Phoenix (first round of stories: “Hey, it gets cold in the desert!”).  Therefore, coverage this morning will be 20-25% less sports-y.  This is in honor of NFL Commisioner Roger Goodell taking a pay freeze this year and trimming his bonus from last year to drop his 2008 pay by roughly a quarter.

Roger Goodell

“The commissioner believes it will take a collective sacrifice of everyone to get through this difficult economic environment.” The commish is wise.  However, the commish will certainly have a better case for the uncapped year coming up and the next CBA negotiations by showing “fiscal responsibility” now.  Also, the layoff of 15% of league staff in NYC might be a little more palatable.

Darren McFadden, Bay Area savior and Al Davis’ last good idea, had his shoulder ’scoped last month, but no one knew his shoulder was injured.  Not only that, but he went back to his college doctor to have the procedure done.  We’re not suggesting this was a good idea, but Al Davis’ medical plan for the Raiders consists mostly of leeches and bromide.  Hey, it’s worked for him…

Al Davis


Here’s something to chew on since you can’t chew on your world record fingernails anymore…

My God, it takes longer to leak PED names than to take a leak for a drug test. When will we finally see those 103 other names from 2003’s MLB positive test list?

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Speed Read: Woods’ Son Ready For PGA In 2027

Some people thought that Tiger Woods would find a way to make it back from his rehab in time to play at the Buick Championships this week at Torrey Pines in San Diego. After all, he’s won the tournament six times, and it was the site of his epic victory over Rocco Mediate in the U.S. Open last June - his last tournament before having season-ending surgery.

Tiger Woods and Family

But he didn’t, and that’s probably a good thing: the SAN DIEGO UNION-TRIBUNE reports that his wife Elin Nordegren gave birth to their second child on Sunday, a brother to go with their daughter Sam. Put the new Woods scion along with his champion golfer niece, now the Woods gene pool can pretty much dominate both tours for at least the next 40 years.

(*UPDATE*: Tiger announces new kid’s name is Charlie Axel Woods.)

Elin Nordgren

As we mentioned when news of his wife’s pregnancy first broke, it took real courage to have sex with his Swedish model wife while dealing with an ailing knee. But to deal with a pregnant wife while rehabbing, with only the help of a team of nannies, servants and personal assistants? He should be canonized right now. Of course, it would help his case if he bothered to show up for this child’s baptism.

One place Tiger Woods probably won’t be showing up is anywhere with Snoop Dogg there, lest his reputation be sullied by some scallywags discussing nefarious topics such as pimps and hoes. But LenDale White has no such problems, inviting the rapper/actor/youth football coach to his 24th birthday party back in December, just after they beat the Pittsburgh Steelers to clinch the best record in the AFC.

LenDale White and Snoop Dogg

It might seem odd that Snoop Dogg would be at the party, since he is a professed Steelers fan. But he and White go back to White’s time at USC (White even threw Snoop Dogg a ball after a TD while the rapper was standing in the end zone), and White has cameoed in Snoop Dogg videos.

YOU BEEN BLINDED has the video of the night, and you can expect, the language makes it pretty NSFW - there are more N-bombs being dropped in the course of five minutes than at the University of Mississippi in 1962. And make sure you watch until the end for LenDale’s own bit of “freestyling”:

Point of fact here: I’m white, which means I have no idea what “I don’t flow, I just pull hoes” means, but I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with yardwork. I’m also pretty sure that Snoop Dogg was a Raiders fan when my roommate had a copy of “The Chronic” in college, and now he’s a Steelers fan but he’s hanging out with the Titans? This guy is the most fickle sports fan since LeBron James.

  • FOOD COURT LUNCH wants to give you a heads up about the latest movie: “Black Mamba, The Helpful Assassin.” Sounds like something Quentin Tarantino would be involved with, co-starring Jim Brown and Pam Grier.
  • Kobe Bryant, aka Black Mamba

  • Who would want a fat outfielder who was one of the biggest (literally) free agent busts in recent memory? Andruw Jones, welcome to the Texas Rangers! RUMORS & RANTS breaks down the freefall that is his career - at the very least, it will be fun to see if he can still be a tub of goo while dealing with Texas summers.
  • ARCA racing: it’s where they put inexperienced drivers on super speedways and wish them Godspeed. Needless to say, a lot of this sort of stuff happens:

    MOTORSPORT.COM says that Patrick Sheltra, the driver who was T-boned in the crash, remains hospitalized with a compression fracture in his back, but the majority of medical tests so far have been negative.
  • SLATE gets down to the truth of the matter: the SI report that Alex Rodriguez tested positive for steroids changes absolutely nothing.
  • The ASSOCIATED PRESS reports that Colts DE Darrell Reid was arrested after refusing to leave a nightclub parking lot in Indianapolis early Sunday. The best part is his reason: “I don’t have to because I am a football player with the Indianapolis Colts.” I understand that Jim Sorgi uses that line all the time as well, but usually it’s when security tries to kick off him the sidelines of Colts games.
  • NESW VIDEO found this gem on YouTube: A scintillating video Kevin Garnett put together for a Web site called back in 2001 when he was playing for the Timberwolves. The topic? How he gets dressed. And yet somehow is now defunct.

  • What do you get when you combine billiards, poker and mixed martial arts? Either a typical Saturday night at my house, or one of the goofiest ideas for a reality TV show ever, as tracked down by DEUCE OF DAVENPORT.
  • If can’t stalk the one you love, stalk the one you’re with (or at least near): the INDIANA STATESMAN says that a creep who served five years in prison for stalking Olympian Sheila Taormina has been arrested after apparently harassing an Indiana State female athlete and violating a restraining order to not step foot on campus. Because they really thought that was going to work?
  • KVIA-TV has video of a brawl after a soccer game in Juarez, Mexico that left 19 people arrested and several people injured. If you know anything about Juarez lately, you won’t be shocked to know that this was the least violent thing that happened in Juarez yesterday.
  • ESPN.COM reports that Oklahoma basketball player Ray Willis has been suspended indefinitely after being arrested on a DUI charge over the weekend.

Which game are you most interested in watching this week?

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LenDale White Stomps All Over A Terrible Towel

Many doubted that the Titans could wrap up the top seed in the AFC playoffs today against the Steelers without Albert Haynesworth. But Tennessee rolled Pittsburgh 31-14, capped off by an 83-yard interception return in the final seconds by Michael Griffin.

LenDale White stomps the Terrible Towel

The Titans wrapped up home-field advantage through the playoffs, and should these teams meet again the Steelers might have a little extra motivation. Seems that LenDale White wasn’t happy with just winning the game. He thought it would also be a good idea to stomp all over a Terrible Towel for the benefit of the CBS cameras. Oh, it’s on now.

Video after the jump.

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