Brees ‘Would Love To Get’ Tomlinson On Saints

Interesting Tweets today from New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees on the recently-released LaDainian Tomlinson:

Drew Brees Tweet: Would Love To Have Tomlinson

I would love to get LT in the black and gold. Crazier things have happened. OK, due to popular demand, I am asking the question….who thinks LT should be a Saint? Read more…

E! True Hollywood Story To Feature The Cooleys

By now, the story of Chris Cooley meeting his future wife Christy is the stuff of legend: she was a cheerleader, he was a tight end, they weren’t allowed to date, but they started dating on the creep anyway and things - obviously - went well. On one hand, aww. On the other hand, aww damn, she’s a knockout.

Chris Cooley's Wife Photos
(Putting her on TV? Eh, risky decision, E! - viewers might not go for her. Sure you can’t get Susan Boyle instead?)

The producers of the E! True Hollywood Story franchise noticed the story as well, it appears; they’re picking up “NFL Wives” as one of their episodes, prominently feature Mrs. Cooley herself. It’s not exactly unprecedented; E! featured MLB wives last year; we don’t recall any complaints about that.

Read more…

Speed Read: Dominican Dream Done In by Dutch

The Netherlands’ World Baseball Classic team showed just how awesome colonialism was with their second victory over the Dominican Republic yesterday, 2-1 in 11 innings. This unlikely series of events pushes the Netherlands team into the second round and eliminates the Dominican squad.

Netherlands World Baseball Classic

The Netherlands team’s combination of Arubans, Netherlands Antilles residents, and the occasional Dutch person bested the Dominicanos behind the power of their pitching in both games, no doubt buoyed by pitching coach Bert Blyleven.

If Blyleven can turn Sidney Ponson into a nominal pitcher again, he should launch past potential MLB pitching coach jobs and apply for beatification.

(We kid.  While the WBC is a watering hole for semi-famous former ballplayers, it’s not exactly a test of coaching mettle. Also, 24 walks in 29 innings isn’t worth bragging about. Small sample size, thy name is “first-round WBC exit for the DR”.)

Jay Cutler Broncos

Apparently, Jay Cutler doesn’t picture himself as chattel. He leans into the mirror and he sees a diabetic, perhaps. He probably sees a Pro Bowl quarterback. However, he just can’t see the piece o’meat others do.

Therefore, the healing process after his near-trade (okay, his far-trade) from the Broncos to Tampa (or Kansas City or what not) hasn’t gone smoothly. In fact, it’s more of a scab-picking competition between Broncos management and Cutler’s people. An attempt at a long-distance group hug fell apart yesterday and both sides are the worse for wear for it.

We just finished listening to Bill Simmons’ latest podcast with Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey and, yes, he’s brilliant. However, he kept referring to his players as “assets” he needed to accumulate to gather different assets down the line.

This is all fine and true, but you don’t engender loyalty when you refer to your employees with the same terminology as you’d use to describe your real estate holdings.

So yes, it’s a big bad business and Cutler knew what he was in for when he signed up to be a professional ballplayer, but he doesn’t have to like it. Also, if he has the leverage, he doesn’t have to put up with it.

And hey… if the Broncos don’t need a 25-year-old quarterback that has proved more than competent for the job, maybe they can’t value their assets or their people as well as they could.

Tony Zendejas Los Angeles Rams

Former NFL placekicker Tony Zendejas found himself acquitted of rape charges by a Pomona jury yesterday. (The rather painful details have been covered here previously;  those sensitive to discussion of “anal tears” are encouraged to pass on the link.)

Club Zendejas

At least he can safely return to Party Time, Zendejas Time!!!!! now.

And now the proverbial hail of bullets while wrestling an injured lunatic ninja kangaroo in your living room

Ben Woodside of North Dakota State

Hulk Hogan shopping at Wal-Mart

Who are you rooting for in the WBC now?

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Chargers NT Calls “Game Over” On OT Coin Toss

Everyone remembers Matt Hasselbeck’s not so timely flawed prognostication during the Seahawks’ first playoff foray back in 2004, when the Seattle quarterback loudly declared “We want the ball and we’re going to score,” after winning the overtime coin toss. Well, last night Chargers nose tackle Jamal Williams boldly made the same declaration, albeit with a bit more brevity. As soon as the Chargers won the coin toss, Williams loudly announced: “Game over” to the group of captains at midfield. Unlike Monsieur Hasselbeck, Williams will be playing in the second round of the playoffs, making it one of the ballsiest on-the-spot predictions in recent years.

jamal williams chargers
(Jamal Williams: A fatter instant Nostradamus.)

The story, and the video you see after the jump (The “Game over” line comes at 0:23), were discovered by FANHOUSE earlier today, and in retrospect, Williams kind of steals the overtime spotlight. Not to diminish Darren Sproles’s rather sizable game (in terms of achievements, not in terms of his size, obviously), but having a defensive lineman say “Game over” after winning the coin toss is not exactly an everyday occurrence. After all, that’s basically saying, “We’re so good, I’m not even going to have to play in this extra period.”

Read more…

Cardinals Somehow Fail To Choke Playoff Game

With a little more than two minutes to go in their playoff game against the Atlanta Falcons, it looked like the Arizona Cardinals were on the verge of becoming…well, the Arizona Cardinals. Up 30-24, they had just called an inexplicable reverse that had been blown up, leading to a huge 3rd-and-16 from midfield. If they didn’t convert, they would give the ball back to the Falcons and their Rookie of the Year QB Matt Ryan, who had just scored easily in their previous possession.

Arizona Cardinals fans at their game against the Falcons

And then something amazing happened: with their season potentially on the line, the Cardinals made a huge play. Kurt Warner found TE Steven Spach alone in Falcons’ secondary (after a major foul-up by Atlanta’s linebackers) for a first down, letting Arizona run out the clock on their first home playoff victory in 61 years.

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Kimbo Now Reduced To Acting in Teen TV Movies

Poor Kimbo Slice. First, the MMA career goes in the tank after getting owned by Seth Petruzelli, and now his re-introduction to the world is going to come in the form of a TV movie. One that he agreed to do way back in August, when it still appeared as if he might be a legitimate fighter.

Kimbo Slice, thespian

So, those of you who just can’t get enough Kimbo can tune in this holiday season…to Nickelodeon. Kimbo has a guest-starring role in the film Drake and Josh: Best Christmas Ever. In it, he plays a con named “Bludge” who befriends Drake and Josh and helps them keep a promise to a foster family, or something. How heartwarming. Is “poor man’s Mr. T” what Kimbo has been aiming for all along?

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Jim Fassel Really, Really Wants The Raiders Job

After the horror that has been the Oakland Raiders franchise since 2003, you’d think that nobody in their right mind would want to coach there. I mean, you’d have to be incredibly stupid to even consider an offer, much less…

Many Fassels

Oh, hello, Jim Fassel! You might have a severe head injury, because nobody of any mental stability would ever, ever, ever do anything as reckless as, say, contacting Al Davis to request the Oakland coaching job. But according to ESPN, Fassel sent a hand-written letter to Davis, kissing his wrinkled posterior in hopes of taking over for the utterly miserable Tom Cable in 2009.

Read more…

New Orleans Saints Lose Reggie Bush, Game

Things have gone from “bad” to “oh holy hell no” in the Big Easy this weekend, as the Saints‘ 30-7 stinkfest wasn’t their worst loss of the afternoon. During coverage of today’s late games, CBS announced that Reggie Bush had torn his meniscus in the drubbing.

Reggie Bush vs. Carolina

Next up for Bush is arthroscopic surgery, obviously; the meniscus is vital to proper weight distribution when running, and Reggie Bush kinda sorta needs that. Rehab won’t be terribly bad, though. The timetable looks like just 3+ weeks for recovery, not the 9-12 months usually slotted for major knee ligament repair.

Read more…

Well, Tomlinson, Which One Is It? Coke Or Pepsi?

CNBC’s Darren Rovell reports on a site called COOLSPOTTERS, essentially the Gawker Stalker for famous people gaining street cred with merchandise. So if you see Jamie Moyer taking Centrum Silver, you find/make photographic evidence of it and upload it. Simple enough.

LaDainian Tomlinson internal cola war

But what about those celebrity endorsements that could contradict? LaDanian Tomlinson, for example, was once a VitaminWater spokesman, and now shills for Gatorade. One’s owned by Coke, the other by Pepsi. Awk-ward. Read more…

Chris Berman Like You Always Wanted To See Him

We close out the first month of 2008 with two great gifts from Bristol, CT:

• The greatest Chris Berman video you’ll ever see:

Chris Berman explodes on-set at ESPN

• And if the vision of a sweat-stained Boomer ruins your day, pick yourself back up by scanning over this new shot of sideline siren Erin Andrews:

Erin Andrews incredible ass

• The study also serves as a Spearmint Rhino: Super Bowl house rentals now come with a stripper option.

Bill Walker must be relieved that K-State finally beat Kansas at home.

Florida Marlins cheerleader tryouts - need we say more?

Florida Marlins Mermaids cheerleaders

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