Speed Read: A-Rod Reaches Settlement in Divorce

TGIF, SbBers! And one Yankee slugger is TG-ing a little more on this lovely F.

Alex & Cynthia Rodriguez

Alex Rodriguez has reached a divorce settlement with soon-to-be ex-wife Cynthia. C-Rod had been fighting the legality of the couple’s pre-nup agreement, but may have realized it was a lost cause. All A-Rod’s lawyer would say (in a terse statement) is that the dueling duo “have amicably resolved their dissolution of marriage proceedings.”

So, he’s all yours, Madonna. (Or yours, Derek.)

Brewers Cubs

The Cubs creep closer to that NL Central crown, as the Brew Crew somehow turned a 2-out, 9th-inning 6-2 lead into a 12-inning 7-6 defeat. Just call Geovany Soto the Steve Bartman of Milwaukee. The Cubbies’ magic number is now 2, while the magic number for Brewers fans is the Wisconsin suicide hotline.

Over in the Junior League, Minnesota had some 9th-inning heroics of their own, as Alex Casilla’s two-run shot helped the Twins rally to topple Tampa Bay 11-8. The win did favors for both the Twins & Red Sox - Minny’s now only 1 1/2 games behind the White Sox in the AL Central (thanks to a 9-2 Yanks victory), while Boston moves up behind the Rays in the AL East by the same margin.

And all this time, the AL West champion Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, USA, North America sit and wait - and dress up their rookies in women’s clothing. (Still, that’s nothing compared to the Padres’ parade of horrid Hooters Girls.)

Brandon Marshall collides with referee

Brandon Marshall could be spending more time on the sidelines - or in jail. New charges have been filed in Georgia against the Broncos receiver, stemming from a March incident where Marshall allegedly beat up his then-girlfriend. Having already been suspended from the season opener against Oakland, Marshall could be facing additional discipline from the league.

Remarkably, although he only appeared in one game this season, Marshall already leads the league in receiving with 18 catches. (But Chargers fans would argue that Ed Hochuli helped.)

Colorado looks set to take over West Virginia’s #21 spot in the polls, as the Buffaloes roam to a 3-0 record after Thursday night’s 17-14 OT thriller over the Mountaineers - all because Aric Goodman could kick chip-shot field goals & Pat McAfee could not. At least McAfee still has a roster spot, which is more than can be said for Peter Lalich.

Peter Lalich Virginia Cavaliers QB

(“Bartender! Gimme a double!”)

Virginia QB Lalich was kicked off the Cavaliers squad after admitting in court that he violated his probation for underage drinking. But after watching the Cavs’ crappy perfomances this season, anyone would be hitting the bottle.

And now on to more pressing matters:

L.A. Kings Ice Girls tryouts

• Slide over, Laker Girls - LARRY BROWN SPORTS has the exclusive news (and more importantly, photos) of the Los Angeles Kings’ Ice Girls dance team tryouts.

• The MINNEAPOLIS STAR-TRIBUNE hears that Adrian Peterson has a sore hammy, but the Vikings RB still feels ready to bring home the bacon on Sunday.

• WITH LEATHER claws up news of a Mets minor leaguer charged with killing his girlfriend’s cat in a jealous rage.

• THE WIZ OF ODDS chronicles the first blow struck in this weekend’s Florida-Tennessee football war - the Vols football Wikipedia page was vandalized!

• CNN serves up news of Ana Ivanovic bowing out early in a tourney again, this time losing in the second round of the Pan Pacific Open. Maybe she really is the next Anna Kournikova, after all.

• On the return serve, ON THE BASELINE reports that Maria Sharapova is launching a $210,000 scholarship program for students living in areas affected by the Chernobyl disaster.

• VARIETY wants to know if you smell what The Rock is cookin’ in Tomorrowland, as the wrestler-turned-actor is set to star in a movie based around the Disneyland attraction.

• Can’t wait for the NBA season to start? BASKETBAWFUL offers their own objective previews of all 30 teams.

• BUGS & CRANKS doesn’t know what the Yankees should do with Bobby Abreu - do you?

John Heuser of the ANN ARBOR NEWS is concerned that this year’s Wolverines could be the first bowl-less Michigan squad since 1974.

In preparation for Saturday’s pigskin action, here’s today’s pertinent poll:

What ESPN College Gameday segment would you like to see first?

View Results