Official: World’s Most Expensive Friend Request

Snoop Dogg had a well-measured suggestion to billionaire Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg on Twitter today:

Snoop Dogg asks Zuckerberg to buy a sports team with him

Fabulous idea!

Jose Canseco reports he's homeless

Especially since I just so happen to know a certain someone who’d be a perfect first hire.

On second thought, sorry Jose. Mr. Zuckerberg is obviously way too liquid for Bud Selig’s taste.

Should Canseco Now Consider Professional Help?

Spotted by my Canadian brother Gourmet Spud today:

Jose Canseco Tweets About Government Extermination

(Invoking Juan Antonio Samaranch After His Passing?)

Jose Canseco’s Tweets the past few months portray someone locked in a delusional, downward life spiral. It was amusing for awhile but now it’s just sad. (Though not as sad as Taylor Mays currently acting the bish.)

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Valentines Day: For Lovers And ‘Sh** Talking F***s’

As you would expect, it’s been an eventful Valentine’s Day for Jose Canseco. No, to my knowledge the restraining orders remain in effect and the tanning bed endorsement has yet to come through.

Jose Canseco lashes out at followers on Twitter

But as a former baseball superstar now enjoying life as a pop culture icon, it’s a given that Canseco’s V-Day was significant. To drive that home, he treated us to a bevy of delightful Valentine’s Day Tweets, including introducing us to two of his new friends.

Jose Canseco

He also took the time to elucidate the state of his steroid usage to his adoring fans.

Thought no one could top the Bloomin’ Onion + Knott’s Berry Farm experience with my court-approved spouse today. I’ll never sleep on Jose’s Tweets again.

Jose Canseco Still Not Afraid To Flash The Leather

Being MLB’s most notorious whistleblower hasn’t been easy on Jose Canseco.

Jose Canseco begs for tanning bed endorsement

Maybe he’s starting to take the “blackball” thing a little too far?

McGwire Lying Confession Worse Than His Hiding

SPORTS BUSINESS DAILY has a thorough rundown of reax from the media to Mark McGwire’s steroid admission yesterday. While most opinions of McGwire’s limited contrition skew negative, none I saw called it what it really was if you believe ESPN Investigative Reporter T.J. Quinn and Jose Canseco.

Staffers in ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH Newsroom Watch McGwire Steroids Admission

(St. Louis Post-Dispatch Newsroom Watching McGwire Last Night)

Quinn was the most compelling presence in the media yesterday with his eye-popping portrayal on ESPN-TV of McGwire as a serial hardcore user (horse steroids!) who enthusiastically shared his knowledge with many a major leaguer.In addition to steroids, Quinn said McGwire was perhaps the first MLB player to use HGH, and that he introduced the drug to many other MLB players, while giving them bogus information on the effects of the hormone. Damning, ugly stuff.

Quinn’s specific claims about McGwire were based on over 10 years of reporting on the subject and hundreds of interviews with MLB players, staffers, executives and medical experts in the field of PEDs. Video of his comments after the jump.

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Jose Canseco To Fight Rodney King. No, Honestly

There is a part of us that wants to believe Jose Canseco and take him seriously. He was right about A-Rod using steroids and right about Manny Ramirez using them. If you want to see what blackballing looks like, check out Canseco and the way the sport and its press treat him.

Jose Canseco Rodney King

(Just a reminder: a horrific beating at the hands of the LAPD is literally the only reason you know who Canseco’s opponent is.)

But with “Jose Canseco, Oracle of Steroids” also comes “Jose Canseco, Comically Tragic Sideshow,” unfortunately. And the problem with having no sense of decency is that making money becomes a matter of shocking people into paying attention. How would one accomplish that, you might ask? Oh, how about a fistfight with the guy whose only claim to fame is being the victim of an assault that led to the L.A. Race Riots? Because that’s actually seriously happening.

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Is Canseco Trying To Tell Us Cal Ripken Juiced?

McGwire, Sosa, Clemens, ARod, Manny, Papi: Can it get any worse?

Did Cal Ripken Juice? If not Jose, then who?

(If Canseco sez it wasn’t Rickey, then which HOFer is on 2003 steroid list?)

Based on what Jose Canseco said Thursday, probably.

Everyone’s favorite circus side show guested on ESPN 950AM in Philly to talk about the latest steroid revelation, which implicated David Ortiz via a 2003 test of 103 MLBers.

During the visit with Mike Missanelli, Canseco strongly suggested twice that as many as two baseball Hall of Famers could be found on the same 2003 positive steroid result list that ensnared the aforementioned five players.

Canseco:

“What if there were some athletes who’ve been inducted into the Hall of Fame that are on that 100-player (2003) list?”

Later in the interview, Canseco also brings up the possibility of “one or two” current Hall of Famers who were on the 2003 list.

OK, so if that’s the case, it should be pretty easy to figure out who Canseco is talking about. Among baseball Hall of Famers, there is only one MLBer who was active in 2003: Rickey Henderson.

So Henderson is the guy, right Jose?

Did Cal Ripken, Jr. Do Steroids?

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Actually, probably not. Canseco denied during the interview having any knowledge that Henderson juiced.

Okay then, who does that leave as possibilities? Read more…

Anna Rawson Makes Her GoDaddy Girl TV Debut

• It’s finally here: Anna Rawson’s first TV commercial as a GoDaddy Girl.

Anna Rawson

Tom Brady & Gisele Bundchen are six months away from unleashing Superbaby onto our world.

• Count Brendan Haywood among those who aren’t pleased about Donte’ Stallworth’s light sentence. But Plaxico probably isn’t as judgmental.

• Wimbledon is worried about potentially massive match-fixing.

• Hard to believe it’s been 15 years since O.J.’s most memorable run.

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Jose Canseco’s Girlfriend Wants In The Ring, Too

Ever since Jose Canseco stopped playing baseball he’s been known for two things: ratting out other baseball players who have done steroids, and getting the crap beat out of him in boxing rings or cages. Canseco started out getting into a bunch of “celebrity” fights but then decided that getting his butt kicked by D-listers wasn’t challenging enough, so he made the logical decision to move on to fighting real MMA fighters.

Heidi Northcott Jose Canseco

Well, Canseco got taken down by a 7-foot tall Korean named Hong Man Choi and apparently he’s realized that fighting other celebrities is probably the safer route. Which is why his next bout is scheduled for July 24 at Damon Feldman’s Celebrity Boxing 10.  Though it’s looking like Canseco may not have to fight this battle alone because it seems that his girlfriend, poker player Heidi Northcott, wants some time in the squared circle herself.

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Speed Read: Moral Victory Leaves Magic Down 2-0

If Game 1 of the NBA Finals seemly confirmed the suspicion that the Orlando Magic didn’t belong on the same floor with the Los Angeles Lakers, at least the Magic put an end to that on Sunday night in Game 2. They remembered how to shoot (at least two of them did), played some (at times) stingy defense, and generally were a total pest in pushing the Lakers to overtime.

Kobe Bryant

Unfortunately for the Magic, what they didn’t prove is that they could beat the Lakers in the NBA Finals, as the home team held on for a 101-96 victory to take a 2-0 lead as the series shifts to Orlando for the next three (probably?) games. But they came tantalizingly close at the end of regulation. Hedu Turkoglu found Courtney Lee cutting to the basket behind Kobe Bryant on an inbounds play with 0.6 seconds left and tossed him a lob that reached Lee but forced a midair adjustment, causing his lay-in to be just off the mark, bouncing off the front of the rim as time expired.

Courtney Lee

While the Magic might not admit it, they seemed drained by the missed opportunity in overtime, although their inability to stop Pau Gasol in the extra period was just as crippling. The Spaniard scored seven of his 24 points in overtime, including a three-point play with 1:14 left that gave the Lakers an insurmountable six point lead.

As for the Magic’s shooting: Rashard Lewis and Turkoglu were outstanding, with Lewis hitting 6-of-12 three-pointers en route to 34 points, while Turkoglu added 22 points including three three-pointers. The rest of the team? Not so much, as the Magic weren’t helped by Rafer Alston and J.J. Redick combining to go 2-for-17 for the game, including a woeful 1-10 from behind the arc. Also not helping: that J.J. Redick was anywhere near the floor for any length of time, much less 27 minutes. For all the great coaching Stan Van Gundy might have done in Game 2, that can’t be considered his finest hour.

Right now, it will take an amazing comeback for the Orlando Magic to win the NBA Title. (Before the 2006 Miami Heat did it, who was the last team to go down 2-0 and win the NBA Title? The 1977 Portland Trail Blazers.) But perhaps they need to take a clue from famous local resident and occasional Magic fan Tiger Woods, who had some Magic of his own on Sunday, no overtime needed. Woods came from four shots back to win the Memorial Tournament in front of host Jack Nicklaus with one of his most impressive final round performances, shooting a 65 while hitting every fairway in regulation.

Tiger Woods

The performance was awe-inspiring enough to prompt Nicklaus to cave in Woods’ surgically repaired knee with a nine-iron after the match in an attempt to prevent Woods from reaching his record of 18 major championships, before standing over a fallen Woods and shouting a Ric Flair style “Woooooooo!” Actually, that’s a lie; in fact, Nicklaus remarked that it would “greatly surprise” him if Woods didn’t win major No. 15 in two weeks at the U.S. Open.

Finally, it’s kind of hard to fault the San Diego Padres’ Josh Wilson for giving up the go-ahead three-run homer to the Diamondbacks’ Mark Reynolds in the 18th inning of Arizona’s 9-6 win on Sunday. Sure, Wilson might have had extra motivation for pitching against the team that released him earlier this season, but he really shouldn’t have been out there anyway. Wilson is an infielder, and was only pitching after Padres manager Bud Black ran out of pitchers in bullpen. So he sent Wilson out there, who got fastballs up to 88 mph and mixed in a few change-ups as well.

David Eckstein

Also, when you are relying on David Eckstein to homer to take the game into extra innings, you really should consider yourself lucky to be there in the first place, which is what the Padres needed in the ninth inning to erase a three-run deficit. Then again, the Padres really didn’t do much after that against the Diamondbacks’ bullpen, getting no-hit for all nine innings of extra baseball.

  • THE SPORTS HERNIA wonders if Pau Gasol might be missing Game 3 after some…explosive rectal issues?
  • Pau Gasol

  • Chicago Cubs broadcaster Bob Brenly has a message after watching the Cubs slog to a 4-3, 11-inning loss to the Cincinnati Reds on Sunday: “If there are any Little Leaguers watching, turn the TV off.”
  • Former Philadelphia Eagles defensive lineman Sam Rayburn tells the PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER that he was taking more than 100 painkillers a day before being caught forging prescriptions and getting clean. Or as Elizabeth Taylor would call that, lunch.
  • What could bring together Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and former head coach Jimmy Johnson? How about a concert headlined by George Strait and Reba McEntire to open the new Cowboys Stadium?
  • Just when things couldn’t get any worse for the Washington Nationals, DC SPORTS BOG checks in with this: they had a malfunction during their fireworks display, and the debris just happened to fall on the D.C. fire chief. Proving that the Nationals really have turned into a bad 1970s sitcom.
  • Mike Brown proved that his WEC featherweight title victory over Urijah Faber in November was no fluke in the rematch on Sunday, going into Faber’s hometown of Sacramento, CA and winning a unanimous decision that left Faber in the hospital after the match.
  • Among the “highlights” of the ongoing court battle over the fate of the Phoenix Coyotes: the Phoenix suburb of Glendale (where the Coyotes actually play) is suggesting that coach and minority owner Wayne Gretzky is “overpaid” and should have his salary cut by more than $6 million. Because going after The Great One is a winning legal strategy in Canadian courts.
  • David Wells says that Jose Canseco offered HGH to him when they were teammates on the Chicago White Sox, but he declined. Instead, he dropped 30 pounds by giving up beer in the offseason and actually working out. Also, is there anyone Jose Canseco hasn’t offered performance-enhancing drugs to in baseball at this point?
  • HOME RUN DERBY casts a discriminating eye at the reverse negative error baseball card, the bain of beleaguered Topps photo editors everywhere. (Well, specifically at the Topps offices, I guess.)
  • Long Island high school athlete Ryan Harrigan uses his abilities to chase down a would-be purse snatcher while working his after-school job as a grocery store employee. Would you like paper, plastic or handcuffs, Sir?

What was the most impressive performance yesterday?

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