Speed Read - NYT: Urine Links Bonds To Steroids

Barry Bonds may be getting his own Southwest Airlines “wanna get away?” commercial in the near future. The NEW YORK TIMES reported late last night that federal authorities have urine samples believed to belong to Bonds that have tested positive for anabolic steroids, and not just the “cream” and “clear” that Bonds has already admitted to taking.

Barry Bonds

(This wood shack in Manitoba is where you can find Barry for the next six months)

The news came as authorities raided the house of trainer Greg Anderson’s mother-in-law in an effort to put pressure on Anderson to testify against Bonds, which he has thus far refused to do. Anderson has been in prison for more than a year for contempt of court. Much more on this to come today, I’m sure.

The Internet was abuzz when Mickey Rourke called out Chris Jericho on the red carpet at the SAG Awards the other night and said he would participate in April’s Wrestlemania, presumably as his Randy “The Ram” Robinson character from The Wrestler. Well, that excitement lasted all of three days.

Rourke has released a statement saying that he won’t be getting into the ring after all. Perhaps Rourke decided that he wouldn’t stand a chance unless maybe he could get the Ultimate Warrior out of retirement.

Mickey Rourke Wrestler

The last thing anyone wants to be these days is the #1 team in college basketball. For the third straight week, the top-ranked team went down. This time, it was last week’s #1 Wake Forest taking down Duke, which rallied from a 13-point deficit in the 2nd half but forgot to play defense on the last play of the game. James Johnson’s virtually uncontested layin with 0.8 on the clock gave the Demon Deacons a 70-68 win. Here’s the end of the game. If you want to see the last play, skip to about the 3:50 mark:

Elsewhere, #6 North Carolina got a three-pointer at the buzzer from Ty Lawson to beat Florida State, while #21 Villanova handed #3 Pitt its second loss of the year in the last college game ever at the Spectrum in Philly.

• SI.COM isn’t bowing to the liberal media, as they’ve brought conservative pundit (and vaguely Palin-esque) S.E. CUPP (yeah, that’s her name) on board as a columnist. Her first subject? Bull-riding, of course. THE BIG LEAD has more.

• Everybody thinks they can run an MLB team. Now, 2K Sports is giving you the chance to prove it. Billy Beane is the pitchman for MLB Front Office Manager, which lets you run a franchise as a GM and see if you can screw up as badly as Steve Phillips. There are some other titles out there along these lines (I like Baseball Mogul), but this still looks like it could be pretty cool for all the seamheads out there.  CNET’s GEEK GESTALT blog has a story on the launch.

• DEADSPIN has a photo of columnist Jason Whitlock with a couple of strippers:

Jason Whitlock strippers

•  The OKLAHOMAN says that Oklahoma City sports anchor and former ABC sideline reporter Dean Blevins fell and hit his head on some ice on Monday, causing him to miss the Oklahoma-Oklahoma State game. He says he actually was laid out unconscious for at least 45 minutes in broad daylight before a neighbor noticed. Yikes.

• The ORLANDO SENTINEL says that Bobby Bowden has agreed to a one-year contract to remain at Florida State, but there appears to be no commitment beyond that.

• Iowa radio broadcaster Ed Podolak, who resigned after photos of him enjoying himself a little too much in Tampa before the Outback Bowl hit the web, is seeking “professional treatment,” according to THE WIZ OF ODDS. If everyone who’d ever had pictures taken of them drunkenly hitting on a questionable girl sought treatment, half of America would be in rehab.

Ed Podolak

Stephon Marbury still isn’t playing, but the NEW YORK POST reports that he’s still in business. The store that sold his cheap Starbury sneakers closed, but now he has an arrangement with Amazon to sell the shoes online.

Jason Caffey, who might have the worst illegitimate-children-to-points-per-game ratio in NBA history, now has a warrant out for his arrest for failing to pay more than $200,000 in child support, says the AP.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that Jon Gruden finally spoke out after getting thrown under a entire fleet of buses over the last two weeks by his former players. He called himself “Chucky,” and didn’t outright deny interest in the Notre Dame job.  He probably would’ve been better off just staying disappeared.

With the news that Barry Bonds’ urine tested positive for steroids, will he ever admit to being a user?

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Ex-Bull Is Bankrupt, Owes Paternity On 10 Kids

During the Chicago Bulls’ incredible title run in the 1990s, Michael Jordan was hardly the only great player on the team. Aside from fellow future Hall of Famer Scottie Pippen, the Bulls had such standouts as B.J. Armstrong, Toni Kukoc, and Dennis Rodman. Heck, even Luc Longley was an All-Star.

Jason Caffey

On that list of fine supporters, however, you’d have to scan pretty far down to find Jason Caffey, who won two titles with Chicago before bouncing around the NBA for another decade or so. Perhaps he’d have been better if he wasn’t, oh, banging anything with two legs and/or a heartbeat. Caffey, who apparently loved women as much as he hated birth control, was just denied bankruptcy by an Alabama judge, opening the door for lawsuits to settle child support for–oh lord, seriously?–ten kids from eight women. Quoth the CHICAGO TRIBUNE: Read more…

Jeff Gordon Very Happy With Model Wife & Mom

Be back at 8 p.m. ET for Tuffy’s live blog of tonight’s Tennessee-UCLA tussle.

Jeff Gordon believes wife Ingrid Vandebosch is quite the model mother.

Jeff Gordon Ingrid Vandenbosch

Roger Clemens’ kid Koby gets cuffed after brawling at a bar.

O.J. Simpson pal Tom Riccio bets he can rent out ad space on the limo he’ll be taking to the Las Vegas courthouse.

Matt Leinart doesn’t like being Kurt Warner’s backup.

Peter King isn’t pleased with new “Inside the NFL” co-host Warren Sapp badmouthing the previous Sapp-less seasons of the show.

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Jason Caffey Doesn’t Want To Pay Child Support

Desperate times call for desperate measures. And, as Jason Caffey would have you know, there’s no more desperate time than trying to make monthly child support payments for 10 children with 8 different mothers. So it’s not surprising that Caffey has been caught performing some nefarious financial dealings to avoid making those payments.

Jason Caffey

The basics of it are this: Caffey filed for bankruptcy a year ago because his $1.9 million in debts (yikes!) surpassed his $1.15 million in assets. His latest filing shows that Caffey took $120,000 from a trust fund set up for two of his children (who live in hurricane-ravaged New Orleans, no less!) and dumped the money in his own mom’s account, which is apparently a big no-no.

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