NFL Boat Survivor Says Friend “Died In His Arms”

• A new sad wrinkle in the NFL boat ordeal: Survivor Nick Schuyler says his friend Will Bleakley died in his grasp before being washed out to sea.

Nick Schuyler Will Bleakley

(Nick Schuyler [L], Will Bleakley [R])

But for some Detroit sports radio hosts, the whole thing is pretty funny.

• The Dallas Cowboys bid toodle-oo to Terrell Owens.

• San Francisco learns you don’t buck horns with badminton badasses.

• Every breath you take, every move you make, Michael Strahan will be watching you.

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Howie Long’s Son Ditching Baseball For Football?

Howie Long’s son, Kyle Long, made the headlines in January when he abruptly left college at Florida State after only one semester and then proceeded to get a DUI in Charlottesville, Virginia. Suddenly, one of the top baseball and football prospects in the country was going to community college and not playing either sport.

Kyle Long

Now, word comes that Kyle is going to follow in his brother Chris‘ footsteps and enroll at the University of Virginia to play football. The thing is, Kyle went to FSU to play baseball and was considered to be a stud pitching prospect, but he never even made it to baseball season in Tallahassee.

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Speed Read: Howie Long’s Playoff Emasculation

Real men have haircuts level with the earth’s horizon. Real men don’t laugh at Terry Bradshaw’s jokes. And real men become spokespeople for Chevrolet-brand pickup trucks and look down on cars with convenient tailgate steps and heated steering wheels and seatbelts, because seatbelts are for queers and real men can crash through a windshield and jog three miles later that day. Howie Long is a real man. And if the FOX analyst-slash-truck-salesman had his way with the NFL playoff teams, he might be able to sniff out a girlie man or two.

Kurt Warner and Howie Long

Are those … “man sleeves?” Did Kurt Warner have to cover up his arms in Charlotte’s chilly willy weather, of all places? Wasn’t it, like, 50 degrees out there? Did his mom wife crotchet him a yarn jockstrap? Did you know Long would play in sub-zero temperatures shirtless, if given the opportunity by the league? Also, frostbite builds character, and hypothermia increases sperm count. And don’t even get Howie started on what NFC Championship Game quarterback Donovan McNabb was wearing between offensive possessions:

McNabb in coat

A fun dilemma brought up by FANHOUSE: Is it ethical for Wake Forest fans to rush the court after a win over UNC? After all, UNC was No. 3, and suffered their second loss in as many Sundays, and Wake Forest was a scrappy 4th in the national polls. Blogger Adam … well, Adam, argues “Court storming is actually an insult to your players. Court storming is an admission that you didn’t think they could win.” Well, sure, but … so what? In Adam’s rules, he mentions it’s OK to storm after any Duke win. Well, isn’t UNC at that same level of animosity? Wake may be No. 4 and even Wilbon called the upset two days ago, but a No. 4 over a No. 3 win means it’s a top-five showdown, and even in the SbB-model-stacked ACC, that’s a couple-times-a-year occurrence, and Wake just won one of those. My alma mater lost to Savannah F’in State this year. Let the Deacons run wild and free, and enjoy this one.


If it wasn’t for HULU.COM, nobody’s watching Saturday Night Live anymore except for drunk people who can’t find anything else on TV. That website might singlehandedly save that show. The cast may not be in its prime, and it could be in a perpetual Kansas City Royals state of infancy, but a few solid clips seem to arise from recent episodes. In this case, it’s Kenan Thompson as Charles Barkley, as portrayed last Saturday. (Cue it up to 1:29 in if you don’t want to listen to Seth Meyers.) All in all, a solid skit, although if there was a way to transplant Frank Caliendo’s voice into Thompson’s larynx, that might be the opposite of turrible.

Red Sox '57 Chevy

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