Cushing’s Father Defends Son On Message Board

Saturday Lance Zierlein of the HOUSTON CHRONICLE wrote that since Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing has returned from his PEDs suspension, he’s not been able to recapture the level of play that made him the NFL’s first and only two-time 2009 NFL defensive rookie of the year.

Brian Cushing

Zierlein on Cushing’s first four games back with Houston:

… drafting Brian Cushing who looks VERY average after his suspensions for banned substances. Multiple sources around the league have told me that they felt like the rumors of potential PED use surrounding Cushing had enough smoke behind it to keep them from taking him, but the Texans either didn’t have that info, didn’t believe it or chose to ignore it. He better jump back into Beast Mode or Mr. McNair is going to wonder if he was duped by the old bait-and-switch.

As noted by Gregg Rosenthal at, Zierlein’s analysis of Cushing soon caught the attention of the linebacker’s father, Frank Cushing.

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NFLer Kills Audience, Own Team With Comedy Act

Houston Texans wide receiver David Anderson recently performed a standup comedy routine at a party for the local MLS soccer team, the Houston Dynamo.

David Anderson Houston Texans Standup Comedy Video

Anderson’s stage act was, incredibly, actually intentionally funny. The jokes were chuckleworthy and almost as amusing as the crowd reaction to some of the wildly insulting comments Anderson made about the Dynamo and his own team, the Texans.

If you’re easily offended, for the love of god, don’t watch the video or read the transcript. I have absolutely no problem with Anderson’s performance and credit him for having the huevos to provide us all some quality, adult, entertainment.

Video is below along with a transcription of some of the highlights.

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Cushing: Same Drug Canseco Caught Smuggling

NEW YORK TIMES reporter Judy Battista has the scoop on why Brian Cushing had HCG in his system when he was busted for the substance by an NFL drug test last September:

Brian Cushing Caught Using Steroids Masking Agent

Battista’s Tweet was in response to ESPN’s Adam Schefter reporting on that Cushing had previously tested positive for HCG.

In regards to the positive NFL drug test that led to his recent four-game suspension, Cushing told last week, “I did not take a steroid.

If that’s the case, why was he found to have the same post cycle steroid agent that Manny Ramirez was caught with (and subsequently suspended) by MLB last season?

Another athlete notorious for steroid use has also been known to be in possession of HCG.

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Favre Fined $10,000 By NFL; Will Retire (not really)

But the part about the $10,000 fine is true. And wouldn’t that be a great way to get out of it? Brett Favre fined ten grand by NFL for illegal crackback block on Houston’s Eugene Wilson on Monday, so he announces his retirement. Then comes back in Week 3, after Roger Goodell is convinced that he’s remorseful.

Brett Favre crackback block

If he can escape Jemele Hill and her Duracel Batteries of Doom, it’s a foolproof plan. Anyway, our protagonist is a little lighter in the wallet after Goodell watched “The Best Of Brett Favre — Wide Receiver Edition” and was not amused by what he saw. Read more…

Samantha Steele To Make KU Cakewalk Delicious

• Is there really any reason to watch the Fox College Sports broadcast of Kansas vs. Northern Colorado? Yes - and that reason is Samantha Steele.

Samantha Steele

• It’s bad enough Brett Favre can never decide when to end his career, but does he have to try to end other players’ careers with cheap blocks?

Pacman Jones could be taking off for the Great White North. Winnipeg strip clubs already prepared to “Make it snow!” (It’s too cold for rain.)

• Why did Rich Rodriguez tear up during his recent press conference? Maybe because he’s being sued in a real estate deal gone wrong.

• Golf in England deserves a two-stroke penalty for banning beautiful caddy babes from the courses.

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Speed Read: Favre Invents ‘Weed Whacker Block’

Guilty, your honor; with an explanation. How did Brett Favre justify his illegal crackback block on the Texans’ Eugene Wilson last night? Like this: “I will be 40 years old in October and (was) weed-eating 13 days ago,” Favre said. “I wasn’t thinking about throwing blocks.” And there you have it, folks: The Weed Whacker Defense.

Brett Favre, Eugene Wilson

It’s kind of a shame that Favre’s debut in a Vikings uniform will be most noted for this. But then I’m not the one who launched myself at the knees of a defensive back in a meaningless game, endangering not only his career, but possibly his ability to walk to the corner market under his own power when he’s 70. Check out the video yourself, below, and see what you think.

Brett Favre block on Eugene Wilson: Waddya think?

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The reaction so far is interesting: Many were up in arms, including the ESPN crew of Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden, as heard in the video. Meanwhile, Vikings fans seem most concerned that Favre threw the block with his throwing shoulder. Having Favre run two plays out of the Wildcat in a preseason game does seem a bit nuts. But bending an opponent’s knees like Gumby is the big story here, and pretty inexcusable. I’m beginning to think that Favre isn’t going to win that Nickelodeon Teen Choice Award he’s been after.

(Warning: Cheese is purple for a reason. Do not eat)

For those interested in the legal portions of the game, Minnesota won 17-10, with Favre playing three quarters and going 13-for-18 for 142 yards. He didn’t really move the offense much; the real standout was Adrian Peterson. The Texans looked rusty and sluggish; in other words, in mid-season form. But the thing is, in a preseason game when none of that matters, all anyone is going to talk about is controversial stuff like Favre’s block. From AP:

Vikings coach Brad Childress said he hadn’t seen the block, but had a lot to say about it.

“I have not spent a lot of time with him blocking in the last 10 days,” Childress said. “Nor do I think he has spent any time doing any blocking, but I will in the future if he is going to be at the point of attack. I don’t think he did any of this down in Mississippi either. So that one is on me, I will take that one.”

Wilson said he hadn’t spoken to Favre, but if he did he would ask him one thing.

“What was up with that?” Wilson said. “Seriously, what was up with that?”

Wilson was hurt on the play, but says he’s going to be OK.

Larry King & family

The Dodgers’ push for a World Series title got a big boost on Monday when they acquired first baseman Jim Thome and pitcher Jon Garland just ahead of the playoff roster deadline. And how was the big news announced to the team? In the traditional way: Larry King’s sons shouted it into their dugout during their game with the Diamondbacks. Chance, 10, and Cannon, 9, know a scoop when they hear one, and like their father, couldn’t wait to beat Fox and MSNBC. The old man probably fed them the tip to make up for the shame of his recent Michael Jackson coverage.

More oddness: Garland (8-11, 4.29 ERA) was sitting in the Arizona dugout when he heard the news, just before the Diamondbacks scored two in the 10th to beat Los Angeles 5-3. He was supposed to pitch against LA on Thursday, and will probably still take the hill, only now against his former team. Thome, 39, who has 564 career homers, wasn’t exactly brought in to play first base — he’s played in the field a grand total of 28 innings in the past four seasons, including zero innings last season. Joe Torre no doubt sees him as a little offensive insurance policy, in much the same way the Phillies used Matt Stairs last season.

Meanwhile, the Rockies missed out on Garland, who they really wanted, and settled for White Sox pitcher Jose Contreras (5-13, 5.42 ERA). Chicago gets promising pitching prospect Brandon Hynick in return. The White Sox also got infielder Justin Fuller from the Dodgers for Thome.

The Giants picked up pitcher Brad Penny, who had been cut by the Red Sox. He’ll probably be their No. 5 starter as SF and Colorado, who are tied for the wild card lead, head into the final 31 games of the regular season.

Rafael Furcal, however, has had more important things to worry about. If you’re wondering why the Dodgers started Juan Castro at shortstop on Monday, it’s because Furcal has had to evacuate his home as the Station Fire north of Dodger Stadium continues to burn. Furcal was in Denver on Thursday when his wife called and said that firefighters wanted them to evacuate their house, in the Flintridge neighborhood. “I tell my wife, ‘You know what, get clothes for the kids and take the car and get out of there,’” Furcal said. “Life is more important than anything.” The six-day-old wildfire, not yet close to being contained, has destroyed 53 buildings and burned 105,000 acres, resulting in the death of two firefighters.

UCLA coach Rick Nueheisel, meanwhile, says the Bruins still plan to play San Diego State in their football opener on Saturday at the Rose Bowl, which is less than 10 miles south of the fire. Since the Aztecs were 2-10 last season and are 0-21 lifetime against UCLA, perhaps he feels the smoke won’t make much of a difference.

    Brandon Deadrick

  • Alabama defensive end Brandon Deaderick was shot on Monday night in a robbery attempt in the parking lot of an apartment complex, but is listed in “good” condition at a Tuscaloosa hospital this morning. He was shot in the arm. The 6-foot-4, 306-pound senior had just been confirmed on Monday by Nick Saban as the starter for the season opener against Virginia Tech on Saturday in Atlanta.
  • “Kahhhhhhhnnnn!” Keep this on the down-low so that Michael Crabtree doesn’t get any ideas, but Ricky Rubio has agreed to a six-year contract with Regal FC Barcelona, and won’t be eligible to go to an NBA team until 2011. Timberwolves’ GM David Kahn logged a lot of flight time on trips to Spain to try and negotiate a deal with Rubio’s former team, DKV Joventut, but couldn’t pry away the No. 5 draft pick. Rubio apparently was holding out for the opportunity to play in a larger American market, with his prefernce being New York.

  • For some reason, STRAIGHT BANGIN’ put up this hilarious post on Sunday, instead of a weekday when more people would be likely to see it. Well, we’re here to help. It’s their version of the fine print in the MJ Mini Golf Contest over at HANES.COM. Excerpts below. Well played, sirs.

(4) Contest Winner is entitled to one (1) handshake with Mr. Jordan; one (1) exchange of pleasantries with Mr. Jordan not to exceed three (3) discrete sentences spoken to Mr. Jordan, and allowed to occur only between 8:00 AM and 8:15 AM on the initial morning of the Michael Jordan Celebrity Invitational; and one (1) farewell directed to Mr. Jordan, which shall take form solely as “Thank you for being such a great guy. It was nice to meet you.” All other interaction is strictly forbidden.

(6) Contest Winner shall not participate in, photograph, or record any gambling, adult entertainment, sexual intercourse, amorous circumstance short of intercourse, sexual assault, or simultaneous combination of the preceding activities.

(9) Contest Winner shall wear Hanes underwear, Hanes t-shirt, Jordan Brand top, Jordan Brand bottom, and Jordan XX3 at all times.

  • And now, an apology from THE DAILY EXPRESS of London: In our article “Tennis legend Martina and the Russian beauty” on 25 August, we reported that that Martina Navratilova and Julia Lemigova were believed to be engaged after being photographed on holiday in St Tropez, each wearing rings on their left hands. There is  no truth in this. The pair are not engaged and have not exchanged rings. We apologise to Ms Navratilova and Ms Lemigova for our error and embarrassment we may have caused.

  • At least with Thome and Garland safely in the fold, Dodgers fans can go to their great reward secure in the knowledge that an NL West title is in the bag. Are the Dodgers really God’s team? Those who purchase one of these fine items will find out soon enough. Wouldn’t it be a pisser if you showed up at the Pearly Gates with all of this equipment, and St. Peter turns out to be a Washington Nationals fan?
  • Big loss for USC on Monday, as cornerback Shareece Wright was declared academically ineligible, and will be forced to sit out the 2009 season. “Shareece didn’t get it done,” said head coach Pete Carroll following Monday’s practice. “He didn’t get the GPA he needed to get.” Wright had been projected as a starter, and will be replaced by Josh Pinkard, who moves over from starting safety.
  • If Versus and DirecTV can’t get along, what hope is there for the rest of the world? The impasse between the sports network and the big distributor doesn’t look like it’s going to be settled soon, as the Sept. 1 deadline came and went without a deal. You may think you don’t want Versus, but there’s the NHL, and Pac-10, Big 12, Mountain West and Ivy League football. DirecTV said that the dispute centers on carriage fees. Comcast, which owns Versus, has demanded a deal “that is not comparable to other providers and is pushing for a significant rate hike that does not reflect current market terms or the value of its programming,” DirecTV said in a statement.
  • We may have a reason that Giants’ defensive end Osi Umenyiora went AWOL from the team’s facility on Monday. According to the STAR-LEDGER, it was over a dispute with defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan, who reportedly criticized Umenyiora for his play in the team’s preseason game with the Jets. “I made a mistake by leaving the facility today,” Umenyiora said in a statement released by the team on Monday. “I was wrong. … I have no problem with our defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan or any of our coaches. That’s the end of it, as far as I am concerned.”

Eddie Scullin

  • Finally there’s this: Two-year-old Eddie Scullin, who can recite the entire Phillies lineup by looking at pictures of the players. He also imitates his favorite players’ batting stances by using a large Wiffle bat. Video here. Ahh, just another bandwagon Phillies fan.

Thou Shalt Not Use Tebow’s Name In Vain Promos

• What Would Tim Tebow Do? Apparently sue you for using him as the basis for a minor league promotional night.

Tim Tebow with hot girls

(Saint Tebow with a pair of heavenly disciples - and before you ask, no, neither of them is Lucy Pinder)

Michael Vick makes his Philadelphia Eagles debut. Let the circus begin!

• Pass the earplugs: John Daly is in Nashville working on a studio album.

• Did Jessica Simpson place a curse on Tony Romo for trying to mack on her girlfriends?

• The Houston Texans are taking a strong stand against excessive alcohol consumption - by serving their gameday beers in smaller cups.

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Texans Solve Alcohol Abuse… With Smaller Cups

Perhaps it’s just that we’ve never had season tickets to pro football games, but we’ve never understood why people drink beer at them. Yes, it’s football and beer goes with football like you would not believe, but… it’s Sunday, man. Who drinks on a Sunday? Well, let’s rephrase that, otherwise the answer is “us” - who gets drunk on a Sunday?

Houston Texans Glass
(Awww, it looks so sad when it’s empty.)

Well, Houstonians do, it would appear, because Texans fans are up in flabby arms* over Reliant Stadium’s latest trick: quietly switching out last year’s 24 ounce cups of beer for newer, smaller, dare-we-say sexier 20 ounce versions. Hmm? Oh, they’re charging the exact same price? Oh, that’s not kosher.

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Texans FB Turns All-White Party Into Bloody Mess

Remind me not to go to an “all-white party” hosted by Houston Texans fullback Vonta Leach. Because from what THE ROBESONIAN is reporting, it seems like his last party at the Blackwater Grille in Lumberton, NC turned into an “all-white plus black-and-blue and blood-red party.” (And an “all-white party” at the Blackwater Grille? Oh, the irony.)

Vonta Leach

Davis was arrested earlier this week and charged with assault after being involved in an incident at 2 a.m. inside the restaurant. Which just goes to prove the adage that NFL coaches preach to players over and over again: nothing good ever comes from being at the Blackwater Grille in Lumberton, NC at 2 a.m.

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Week In Review: No Steroids in MLB, Why Watch?

• Major League Baseball without steroids is like porn without the silicone.

Monster Implants In Porn Like Steroids In Baseball

Just don’t blog about the subject with Raul Ibanez.

Rodney Harrison doesn’t like how the NFL has become “soft and pansy“.

• A Fox News morning show lambasts MTV for Bruno’s ass-ault on Eminem - then does a segment with a Fox reporter doing basically the same thing to a lingerie football player.

Tim Floyd takes off from the Trojans. What, and leave the Song Girls?

• Soon-to-be newlyweds Kendra Wilkinson & Eagles WR Hank Baskett are expecting a baby. On the other side of the spectrum, Barry Bonds’ wife demands a divorce.

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