Under Armour Gets Pantsed By Arch Apparel Rival

Here’s a photo of University of Hawaii football player Kealoha Pilares racing to a touchdown Thursday night against USC.

Hawaii Under Armour Football Pants Has Nike Swoosh

Per Hawaii’s official apparel supplier, Pilares is decked out head to toe in Under Armour gear - with one notable, unintentional exception.

Remember, Trying Hard Is All That Really Matters

ESPN last night:

ESPN Gets Hawaii-USC score wrong

Producing so many games, understandable that ESPN would occasionally make some unfortunate errors.

So let’s go back to the basics, like naming the Broncos starting quarterback. Read more…

Hawaii Suspends Teary Coach McMacklin For Slur

Here’s another legacy that President Barack Obama is creating: whenever you put your foot in your mouth, it’s a “teachable moment.” See how much better and more positive that sounds than it being “really stupid and embarrassing?” See, everybody learns a valuable lesson and is better off for your idiotic statement having been made.

Greg McMackin

Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin certainly learned a valuable lesson at WAC media day earlier in the week: don’t expect journalists to not report the homophobic slur you used to describe Notre Dame players, no matter how nicely you ask. And now his “teachable moment” has received a grade from the school’s administration: F. The HONOLULU ADVERTISER says that McMackin has been suspended without pay for 30 days, which is expected to cost him almost $170,000 in salary. All of which made him cry. A lot.

Video of McMacklin’s weepy press conference after the jump:

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Coach: ‘Please Don’t Report My Homophobic Slur’

Putting a college football coach in front of a microphone is usually like handing a bear a calculator and asking him to do your taxes. Nothing good can come of that. Hawaii head coach Greg McMackin proved that once again this morning at the WAC football media preview in Salt Lake City, when he let loose with a homophobic slur in reference to Notre Dame. Oops.

Charlie Weiss, Greg McMackin

(That’s McMackin on the right. I think)

McMackin’s perfect s***storm began when he told a small group of reporters how Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis had the Fighting Irish do “this little faggot dance” at a banquet the night before last year’s Hawaii Bowl. But the fun didn’t stop there. Read more…

Book ‘Em, Danno: Ex-Hawaii QB Chang Arrested

The knock on former Hawaii quarterback Timmy Chang coming out of college was that he lacked the arm strength to be an NFL quarterback, which explains why he’s out of football after bouncing through the NFL and CFL after leaving the Warriors as the NCAA’s all-time passing leader.

Timmy Chang Hawaii Five O

But perhaps a team should give him a call after the display of pure throwing power that Chang allegedly put on last month. That is, if he doesn’t wind up doing jail time, as the HONOLULU ADVERTISER says he was arrested for chucking a woman’s camera onto the roof of a building after she started taking pictures of a brawl he was allegedly involved in. Someone needs to get Steve McGarrett on the case.

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Speed Read: A Very Sane Start To March Madness

If the early games in the NCAA Tournament on Thursday were kind of a bust (except for the Memphis vs. Cal State Northridge game; sorry, no love for the “scrappy underdogs” - way to blow it, Matadors!), then the late games were … marginally more exciting. There was an actual upset, with No. 12 Western Kentucky taking down No. 5 Illinois, 76-72.

Western Kentucky celebrates win over Illinois

But then again, most experts were predicting that Western Kentucky would win this game ahead of time, due to the loss of the Illini’s starting point guard Chester Frazier with a broken hand, and the return of Hilltopper’s mascot from a broken right … orange blobby thing.

Western Kentucky mascot

No, the late games were more notable for the near misses than the upsets. Take No. 6 UCLA, which almost fell apart completely against Virginia Commonwealth, nearly blowing a 10-point halftime lead and having the ball in the hands of Rams star Eric Maynor with time expiring and a chance to win the game. (Not the person you want with the ball if you’re UCLA - just ask Duke) Fortunately for the Bruins, Darren Collison came to the rescue, forcing a hurried, off-balance miss from Maynor to hold on to a 65-64 win.

Darren Collison of UCLA and Eric Maynor of VCU

Speaking of blowing a lead … poor American. Just like their namesake economy, their 14-point second half lead against Villanova went into a deep recession, and there was no bailout package coming from the government. Playing in front of a partisan Philadelphia crowd (thanks, seeding committee!), the No. 3 Wildcats rallied later to survive a scare from the No. 14 Eagles, 80-67.

(Note to American University: nice try in attempting to gain our sympathy with your name: the American Eagles. Why don’t you just call yourself the American Heroes Who Died On 9/11 Who Will Weep In Heaven If You Root Against Us? It’s about as subtle.)

Not having trouble advancing was No. 2 Oklahoma, who trounced No. 15 Morgan State 82-57 behind 28 points and 13 rebounds from star Blake Griffin. However, Griffin did have one moment of problems: specifically, when the Bears’ back-up center Ameer Ali decided to practice his armbar takedown on Griffin after they got tangled up together:

It should go without saying that Ali was ejected, and then immediately escorted to St. Louis for the NCAA Wrestling Championships. Ali says the whole incident was unintentional and “a misunderstanding,” which I would only believe if I was Billy Packer and he was a Duke player who just shattered Tyler Hansbrough’s face.

(Not only has Griffin had to deal with this and sustaining a concussion a few weeks ago, but remember the cheap shot he received from USC’s Leonard Washington at the start of the year as well. Either Griffin in such a pacifist than he makes Gahndi look like Genghis Khan or he’s going to snap and pummel someone to death with his sneaker by the end of the tournament. Maybe this explains why he feels the need to lash out at society by peeing in bushes.)

For those of you who are part of the 80 percent of American males who managed to come down with a 48-hour bug starting yesterday morning, your slate of games today look good enough to help you cope with your “debilitating illness”. There are several games that have “Upset Special” written all over them, which probably means that the games will go chalk all day.

In other sports news from last night you might have missed as you polished up your…ahem…resume for a Rhode Island strip club’s job fair:

  • Martin Brodeur might be the winningest goalkeeper in NHL history, but the CBC reports that he might be the losingest ex-husband in the history of hockey: an appeals court ordered him to pay $500,000 a year in alimony to his ex-wife Melanie DuBois until 2020.
  • Martin Brodeur

  • It might be a sport played by drunk men with pot bellies, mullets and porn mustaches, but damn it, you must respect the rules of etiquette in bowling! The SACRAMENTO BEE reports that a dispute about who had right of way to bowl turned into a brawl at a Rocklin, CA, bowling alley featuring one man knocking out another man’s tooth with a bowling ball. <RUN FUNCTION TO READER: INSERT “BIG LEBOWSKI” JOKE HERE>
  • BUGS & CRANKS is focusing their considerable hatred on Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo, and his decision to spend Spring Training living on a houseboat. Apparently, if there was ever a movie made about Arroyo’s life, it would star Matthew McConaughy. And it would probably suck, but your significant other would drag you to it because he’s so “dreamy” and “laid back.”
  • Your semifinals for the World Baseball Classic are set (yes, that’s still going on) after Japan’s 6-2 victory over Korea. The defending champion Japanese will take on the U.S. in one game on Saturday at Dodger Stadium, while Korea faces off against Venezuela.
  • Speaking of the WBC and your apparent apathy to it, LARRY BROWN SPORTS says that Red Sox slugger Kevin Youklis is very upset with American fans for not showing up to the team’s games at the World Baseball Classic. This means you, Joe Six-Pack: even if you’ve lost your job, your house is being repossessed and your kids are being forced to share the same pair of shoes, that’s no excuse for not coughing up $45 a person for cheap seats.
  • How about a hearty welcome to the MLS for the Seattle Sounders, as Drew Carey’s expansion team drubbed New York Red Bull 3-0 in the team’s inaugural game. But I don’t care how many games this “new” Sounders team wins: I doubt they’ve have a music video of their highlights as cool as this collection of highlights from the NASL team in 1975 set to “The Hustle”:

  • I know he’s only been on the job for a couple of months, but here’s a friendly bit of advice to President Barack Obama: it’s probably not a good idea to make jokes about the Special Olympics, as the CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR says you did on the “Tonight Show with Jay Leno” last night.
  • I guess they are teaching Hawaii Warrior football players to not quit on a play, but this is ridiculous: the HONOLULU ADVERTISER says that cornerback JoPierre Davis was arrested and charged with sexually assaulting the same female student twice within a four month period, and then knocking her unconscious at a nightclub. Big surprise: this isn’t his first run-in with the law.
  • While we wait to find out what athletes named come up as clients in the Houston prostitution ring, the CHARLOTTE OBSERVER has news of another brewing scandal: a secret, late-night warehouse that offered sex, drugs and high-stakes card games to its clients. When the club was raided, at least one former NFL player was there, and other athletes are said to be “frequent patrons.”
  • Yawn: another day, another LeBron James triple-double, going for 26 points, 11 rebounds and 10 assists. His feat led the Cavaliers to a 97-92 overtime victory over Portland as Cleveland tied an NBA record by committing only two turnovers - and one was at the end of overtime.

Which team has the most fans at Dodger Stadium for the World Baseball Classic this weekend?

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Boozing it up w/Bud Benefits the Rainbow Warriors

• Drinking beer helps support Hawaii athletics. Booze it up for the ‘Bows!

Hawaii Warriors mascot Pipeline Porter beer

T.O. would happily welcome Jessica Simpson back to Cowboys games.

James Posey’s hustle to the Hornets made for an uncomfortable Celtics DVD screening. But at least he kept his pants on.

Quinton Jackson goes on two Rampages in just one week.

• Is the broadcasting world ready for a 24-hour Cubs channel?

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Dr. J is no Bill Russell; One Blogger Cuban Likes

Julius Erving doesn’t like it when you call him Bill Russell.

Julius Erving Bill Russell Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

(Dr. J & Bill want to know where’s Kareem’s white hair & beard)

• Here’s probably the only blogger Mark Cuban doesn’t hate.

Ray Allen’s daughter has been diagnosed with diabetes.

Rashard Mendenhall is on the warpath with his former Illinois team.

Rocco Mediate knows to keep quiet around Tiger Woods. But will that silence the scorn of NBC soap viewers?

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Hawaii Wants $400K From Jones For Jetting Away

After saying aloha (goodbye) to Hawaii last January, June Jones might be saying aloha (hello) to the islands once again - if only for one game.

June Jones ref

The HONOLULU ADVERTISER hikes along news that the Rainbow Warriors are talking with June’s new school, SMU, about the Mustangs heading out to Oahu to start the 2009 season.

It would be interesting to see Jones back on the sidelines at Aloha Stadium, considering how he left UH in a huff. But it turns out he might actually return to Honolulu sooner - or at least some of his money will.

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Hawaii Promotes Asst. McMackin To Head Coach

Sorry, John L. Smith - the ‘L’ must stand for ‘Luckless.’ Hawaii has chosen a new head coach, and it’s not the former Spartan leader.

Greg McMakin Hawaii coach

The HONOLULU STAR-BULLETIN reports that the Warriors have promoted assistant Greg McMackin to run the football program. The defensive coordinator was all set to follow June Jones to SMU, until he was given the chance to take the reins of the defending WAC champs.

It does seem a bit odd that a team known for their offensive output would nab a defensive guy. But then again, this school did let Jones slip away from paradise to the plains of Conference USA.

McMackin has his work cut out for him, such as building a coaching staff, hitting the recruiting trail - and finding a Hawaiian home for his daughter & grandchildren, who he plans to move out from Texas.

As for John L. losing out on the job, we imagine this was his reaction: