I spent some time walking around Santa Monica Wednesday night, checking out the bars to see the interest in the Dodgers-Cardinals game. You probably won’t be surprised to find out that there were almost as many people watching the first Lakers preseason game as Round One @ The Ravine. That said, most of the bars were actually half-empty. Interest in the NLDS here is tepid at best, per the not-too-distant disappointments. There’ll be very little reax unless there’s an NLCS to be endeavored.
Perhaps nothing in the United States makes the worst-case argument against socialism (in an unenlightened barroom argument sort of way) as well as professional sports. Shared revenue and talent pools serve to prop up and even reward owners who are unwilling or unable to field competitive teams, the very antithesis of the American traditions of “rugged individualism” and capitalism. Of course, fans give sports teams a pass in ways they wouldn’t dream imaginable in any other part of the public sphere because WOOOOOO SPORTS!
It’s a system Golden State Warriors owner Chris Cohan has been exploiting for years. Under his ownership, bad front office hires, questionable personnel moves, and bad basketball have been the norm. Cohan has no reason to care, though, because he’s gotten the facility renovations he demanded and has made money hand over fist thanks to Bay Area fans and NBA revenue. Now, all that incompetence is going to pay off when he bails on the team and sells it off - if the price is right. Read more…
Rick Barry will always be known first and foremost for his volcanic temper, and that’s saying something, considering how great he was as a player. Sure, he led the Warriors to their latest and only NBA championship, in 1975. But he’s also known as the guy who famously took a swing at former U.S. Senator Bill Bradley, then a New York Knick. I hear he also tried to fight that kid from “The Sixth Sense,” but can’t verify that.
The Golden State Warriors’ front office cannot comprehend why their fans would feel the need to vent about their frustrations with the franchise. After all, they were winners dozens of time this season! 29 times total against 53 losses, but that’s just negative talk.
In the fight against negativity, Golden State Warriors public relations director Raymond Ridder is a shining knight. A warrior, if you will. That’s why he donned the armor of anonymity and jumped into the comments at WARRIORSWORLD.NET to post defenses of the Warriors management and players at least five times in the last year, including a slam of FANHOUSE blogger and Warriors analyst Matt Steinmetz.
While covering for Yao Ming’s latest foot-based absence last night, Mutombo sent four shots onto a new trajectory in a statistic oft-called “blocks”. Honestly, though, we’d be alright with renaming it “Dikem-NO”.
(There’s a 50-50 chance that’s not a throwback jersey)
After the game, the 42-year-old explained that the kids on the Golden State Warriors (especially teenager Anthony Randolph, who has abused Yao in the past) just didn’t seem to understand what his career has been based around since the late 1950s:
We need NBA Classics to show more of the Mutombo games so some of the youngest guys can learn. Everybody is trying me. I don’t know why. That young boy tried so hard. … He kept telling me, ‘I’m going to get you before the day’s over.’ It’s too bad. He tried, but he didn’t get a chance to dunk on Dikembe Mutombo. He’s not going to be able tell his grandkids, ‘I got Dikembe with one.’
We’re pretty sure at least one of the blocks was so fierce as to render the shooter unable to procreate, Dikembe. That’s just mean.
Why do we continue to give college basketball a pass on “March Madness” when the Final Four takes place during April? Sure, you’re sitting there and thinking, “So only 61 of the 64 games happen in the right month? So?” It’s the principle of it all, damn it! I can’t make a PG movie that turns R-rated in the last 5 minutes. It’d be like that one Mandy Moore movie A Walk to Remember, where (SPOILER ALERT!) she dies at the end, except in this version it’s by getting her head ripped off by naked zombies. Actually, get Hollywood on the phone; that idea sounds like a winner.
But we digress. Even people in the deepest of comas know that today is just the first day of a week in which worker productivity plummets and everyone, for at least a couple days, is a college basketball fan. Today is reserved for staring at a bracket, cursing the fact that the talking heads on ESPN like the same upsets you do (making them both popular and wrong, which completely disqualifies them as keys to winning your pool). Lots of office printers being tied up today. UPSET PROTIP: Think about American in the Elite 8. You’ll be happy you did. High fives all around!
Technically, yes, the rest of the sports world doesn’t stand still, and there’s plenty of things to talk about away from the parquet. We’re happy to report that your national pride has been granted an extension of legitimacy, as the USA defeated the Nether Region Netherlands, 9-3. Up next is either Venezuela or Puerto Rico, depending on who loses between the two teams tonight.
On the other side of the WBC bracket or however they set this thing up, Japan and Korea have jumped out to strong positions, while Mexico and Cuba fight to avoid elimination tonight. Quick question: why is the Mexico-Cuba game being played, essentially, in the middle of the night? And we get that this is a “world” classic and this time makes it possible for the rest of the world to watch, but 95-99% of the people who actually give a single crap about this game live in Mexico and Cuba (not a slight at those two countries, by the way; you could substitute any two teams in there, and the fact remains the same), and you’re essentially playing the game while they sleep. Wouldn’t almost anything be better than a start time that’s still late (8 pm) in San Diego, where the game is being held.
And speaking of situations in need of repair, can we talk about Jay Cutler and Denver? Talks have gone swimmingly after that trade kerfuffle from earlier, and Cutler is eager to get started on the 2009 season and develop a positive relationship with his new coach. LOL JUST KIDDING I AM LYING BADLY. Cutler has now left the city of Denver and demanded a trade, according to the DENVER POST.
Josh McDaniels: I’m the coach at Denver now! Isn’t this great, Bill?
Belicheck: Call me Mr. Belichick, you little sh*t. How are you doing at quarterback? You want Cassel?
JM: Not particularly. We have Cutler.
BB: Cassel’s better. We can get a 3-way trade done. You want Cassel.
JM: Um, that’d be kinda cool, but we have Cutler.
BB: Oh. Huh. Weird.
NFL: Cassel has been traded to Kansas City for basically nothing.
BOSTON GLOBE: Denver was talking about trading Cutler for Cassel.
Jay Cutler: What the hell. Screw you. I’m leaving.
JM: Say, Mr. Belichick? Now I have neither Cassel nor Cutler.
BB: NYEAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I always liked Pioli better!
JM: I hate you, Mr. Belichick. Some more links to peruse while you’re still thinking, “American? They face Villanova in Philly in Round 1! That’s stupid!” Stupid like a fox!
If you heard that your favorite NBA team scored 130 points in a blowout, odds are pretty good that you’d be thrilled. Except, of course, if you live in the Bay Area; that optimism would be replaced by fear and dread. Yes, today’s hilarious lack of NBA defense comes from… the same team it always comes from, the Golden State Warriors. Yes, they dropped 130, but they gave up 154 points to Phoenix, and that’s with most of the Suns’ starters on the bench for the vast majority of the 4th quarter. Jason Richardson dropped 31 points on only 15 shots.