New Sports Site Trying To Cash In On Social Media

Much like neoconservatives who are trying to hasten the End Times by pushing for invasions of every Middle East country, we are doing our best to hasten the popping of the social media bubble by writing as much about Twitter and Facebook as possible. It helps, of course, that athletes keep doing dumb stuff on their Twitters and Facebooks and all that - y’know, to keep it entertaining.

Twitter Fail Whale

(Social media stupidity? Bring on the Fail Whale!)

But at some point, all this hype about social media is going to collapse in a cloud of dot-com dust when people realize that most basic of capitalist tenets - there’s not really any way to profit off of it. The latest sign that the social media apocalypse is nearing ever closer is possibly the worst idea for a startup company since the Jump To Conclusions mat. A group of entrepreneurs had the great idea to start up a database of every sports accomplishment ever, editable by fans. In other words, they had the great idea to start up Wikipedia. Which already exists. And therein lies the problem.

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Fake Facebook Chase Daniel Irritates The Real One

Who is this mysterious fake Chase Daniel? The real one — formerly the quarterback for the Missouri Tigers, currently with the Washington Redskins — is royally peeved that someone has apparently put up a Facebook page using his name. And Daniel, the real one, is not a person to let a social networking insult slide. Oh, no.

Daniel has gone out of his in interviews to emphasize that he doesn’t use his real name on his Facebook page — of which only a few people know the url. But lately, he says, someone has been Facebooking using his name. So Daniel took to Twitter to ask people to get the word out that this Facebook Chase Daniel is a cad and an imposter. Read more…

Can Braylon Edwards Freshen That Drink For You?

This photo is OK if you’re Charlie Sheen, or you have a bet with Big Enos Burdette that you and the Bandit can get all of this to Atlanta in 28 hours. But if you’re wide receiver and perennial screwup Braylon Edwards, perhaps it isn’t the best PR move of the century to be posing on your Facebook page with this much hooch.

Braylon Edwards

Not only did Edwards lead the league in drops last season, but he also failed his physical and injured himself in a pickup basketball game. And don’t forget the time he injured his foot when a teammate stepped on it because Edwards was running practice routes in his socks. But the bigger issue here, of course, is that Edwards was out drinking with Donte Stallworth on the fateful night of Stallworth’s DUI accident that claimed the life of a pedestrian. But welcome to my basement anyway! How do you like your martini? (Hick!) Read more…

Cancer Patient Inspires Nwestern Lacrosse Legacy

• The Northwestern Wildcats women’s lacrosse team has won five straight national titles - thanks in part to the inspiration of honorary teammate & young cancer survivor Jaclyn Murphy.

Northwestern lacrosse team and Jaclyn Murphy

• Ladies & gentlemen of the jury, Plaxico Burress would like to have a little chat with you.

• A high school cheerleader is suing after her coach logged in to her Facebook account & then kicked her off the team.

• Current Viking & former Bear Bobby Wade sez Brian Urlacher doesn’t think new Chicago QB Jay Cutler is all that manly.

• The Big 12 Conference is looking to move their football championship game to the new Cowboys Stadium…permanently!

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Cheerleader Sues High School, Facebook To Blame

It occurs to me that we’ve gone several hours without a high school cheerleading controversy, so here you go. The parents of Mandi Jackson have filed a $100,000 lawsuit against officials of Pearl High School in Mississippi, claiming that their daughter’s cheerleading coach invaded her privacy by logging into her Facebook page and reading her email. This story is very shocking and confusing to me: Mississippi has the Internet?

Facebook? Man, that’s sooooo freshman year. But it’s taken some time for this to get to the litigation stage, after Jackson was booted from the cheerleading squad in 2007. That’s when one of her coaches looked at her Facebook page and found obscene correspondence between Jackson and another cheerleader. Nice work, Ms. Ballbricker. Read more…

Inevitable: Tweeting Athletes To Soon Be Silenced

Well kids, it’s been fun. Like MySpace and Facebook, you will soon see virtually all pro athletes pulling back from their contributions to Twitter.

Lastings Milledge Myspace Page Photos

(Lastings Milledge on Myspace - golden age of sports social networking)

High profile pros with a plethora of endorsements have, of course, never been inclined to genuinely participate in social networking. But the vast underbelly of rank and file pay-for-players have initially been enthusiastic participants in MySpace, Facebook and now Twitter. Though with the numerous public relations debacles wrought by MySpace and Facebook, you can guarantee that coaches and team officials are doing all they can to discourage players from making unsupervised public comments - via Tweets.

Shaq Twitter friend

(Without Twitter, how will we know where Shaq is eating?)

We’ve always known that major sports leagues have been about controlling the message and discouraging players from having interesting public personalities. So social networking sites are nothing short of a complete disaster for said sports enterprises.

Stephanie Rice in cop outfit

(Without Facebook, we would have never seen the sexier, steamier side of Olympic swimmer Stephanie Rice.)

It will indeed be a great day for major league teams and leagues when athletes officially shut down their unprompted, online contributions. But almost as big a beneficiary will be ESPN - the friendly, neighborhood, all-power sports media monopoly in your life.

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St. Paul Saints Embrace Twitter In A Very Odd Way

Technology marches on: As you know, the Bengals’ Chad Ochocinco and the Bucks’ Charlie Villanueva have been banned from using Twitter during games, and the T-Wolves’ Kevin Love recently got into trouble for blabbing about team business via Tweeting. The St. Paul Saints independent minor league baseball team doesn’t think that’s fair, and they’re fighting back.

For their game on July 23 at Midway Stadium, the Saints are encouraging all players and coaches to Twitter and update their Facebook pages during the game. This is a revolutionary concept that just may change sports as we know it, or at the very least provide endless entertainment during the next Joe Mikulik tirade. Read more…

Man U’s Newest Star Is Pulling Some Serious Tail

In the aftermath of the $132 million transfer of Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid, Manchester United fans might be worried that their beloved soccer team might now become a lesser presence in the celebrity gossip and society pages. Who would fill the void left behind with the loss of the Paris Hilton-snogging fashion victim? Who would provide ManU fans with naked girlfriend party pics? Who will challenge Miss Albania now?

Federico Macheda Sophie Houghton

Rest easy, Red Devils. The world’s most famous pro soccer team knows better than to get rid of its biggest stars without a replacement plan, and young striker Federico Macheda  is poised to be the next breakout superstar. More importantly, however, he’s landed a fresh-faced young lass to serve as his representative in the gossip pages of Britian’s tabloids. Gentlemen (and,uh, ladies if you’re so inclined), meet soccer’s newest WAG, Sophie Houghton.

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Facebook Romance Lands Falcons OT In Cuffs

So, about that Internet thing - pretty cool, huh? You can do a lot with it, I hear. You can buy records, rent videotapes, watch remastered episodes of “ALF” - in other words, you can do ANYTHING on the Internet. It’s really revolutionized the way we communicate with friends, fans, and loved ones. In short, the Internet is awesome. Of course, there’s also a dark side to the internet, especially for idiots. There are people who forget that anything you post on the internet is printed in (metaphorical!) stone, forever for everyone to see.

Atlanta Falcons OT Quinn Ojinnaka

So if you’re cheating on your wife with a Facebook friend, like Atlanta Falcons Quinn Ojinnaka allegedly may have been, and you post little love notes on the internet, someone might end up seeing them. Like your wife. For the modern adulterer, there are many paths to choose when handling such a situation. Beating up your wife, however, is not a recommended course of action. Guess which path Ojinnaka took?

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Playboy Golf Outing Means Free Tasers for NFLers

• What’s a little Playboy Golf without some free Tasers for the NFL guests?

Playboy golf taster

• The Chicago Cubs get a little Captain in them with the opening of a new rum-fueled Wrigley Field eatery.

• Yankees say they have no seats left under $375 - but they’re lying!

• Are you an NFL team that wants to know more about the personal lives of potential draft picks? Why not create some fake Facebook accounts?

• Because of the ongoing U.S.-Iran trade embargo, Hamed Haddadi of the Memphis Grizzlies is short-changed from getting any endorsement deals.

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