Steve Largent Defends Jim Zorn, Piles On Snyder

We feel a little bad for Steve Largent. The Hall of Fame wide receiver for the Seahawks turned to politics after football, and national politics means you have to move to Washington. Moving to Washington means you have to watch the Redskins, and watching the Redskins means you have to want to stab your eyes out.

Steve Largent and Jim Zorn are BFFIBJs! (Best Friends Forever in Blue Jeans)
(It was a different era, I guess.)

So while Largent was back in Seattle today during the congressional offseason, he was asked by KGO-AM about the football situation in Washington. Turns out Largent’s a close friend of ‘Skins head coach - for now - Jim Zorn (seen above, totally BFFing with Largent in their Seattle playing days), which means you know exactly where he’s going with this interview.

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Shanahan Headed To Redskins? Don’t Do It, Mike!

So Carolina has just scored to lead the Redskins 20-17 with about nine minutes left, perhaps sealing the fate of the embattled Jim Zorn. But word on the street is that Zorn was a lame duck anyway, no matter what he does over the next few weeks.

Jim Zorn, Daniel Snyder, Mike Shanahan

Or, as FOX SPORTS noted today, Dead Coach Walking. The next coach for the Redskins? Mike Shanahan. Maybe.

When owner Daniel Snyder hired a consultant to oversee game plans recently, that should have been a signal to Zorn to start packing. Both of the other times that Snyder’s done that in the past, notes FOX SPORTS (Mike Nolan and Steve Spurrier), the head coach was a gone the very next season. What a mess. Could there be a more dysfunctional owner/franchise is sports right now? I mean not within the Oakland city limits? Read more…

Redskins’ Dan a Sheer Delight Outside The District

Earlier today in Detroit, Redskins Coach Jim Zorn enjoyed a wonderfully delightful moment mugging for the camera with Tom Cruise - before Washington went on to a methodic loss to the Lions, snapping Detroit’s 19-game losing streak. (Zorn’s demise officially elevated to “Spicy“)

Photo Jim Zorn With Tom Cruise Before Redskins Lost To Detroit

(Credit CSN Comcast/DC Sports Bog/Twitter)

Detroit’s stunning non-loss would’ve gone largely unnoticed (at least by me) if it hadn’t been for the lovable ‘Skins, who have as rabid a fanbase and reporting media as anywhere in The League. District-wide reax this week will be already is infinitely more interesting than Monday’s obligatory, Leno fake-funny on the Lions.

Photo Jim Zorn With Tom Cruise Before Redskins Lost To Detroit

(Credit CSN Comcast/DC Sports Bog/Twitter)

To wit, the Twitter of Redskins legend John Riggins, who machine-gunned these Tweets after the game today:

(Yes, WaPo’s Dan Steinerg confirms that’s really Riggo)

So just what in the name of L. Ron was Cruise doing at the game anyway? Redskins announcer Larry Weisman, via Steinberg, has the details.

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Redskins Will Sue Your Grandma & Make Her Cry

So things are not pleasant over at the Washington Redskins ticket office these days (Motto: We’ll get to your call when we damn well feel like it). On Wednesday the WASHINGTON POST revealed apparent shenanigans, in which Redskins personnel were selling tickets straight to scalpers, while a 100,000-person waiting list did without. (See photo). And today, this:

Pat Hill

If your grandmother can’t pay for her Redskins tickets, Daniel Snyder will sue her and throw her out on the street.

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Six Flags Bankrupt, Asks Haynesworth for Bailout

Dan Snyder, the controlling interest in Six Flags as well as the owner of the Washington Redskins, installed his crack management team to solve that Six Flags things over there when he forcefully took control of the company in 2005.  Mark Shapiro, formerly the ESPN programming chief, took the reins and promptly instituted cheerleaders, which should have taken care of the company’s money woes.

Dan Snyder and Tom Cruise

(”No, no… we had Bugs Bunny tested and his theta levels are stellar.  So are you interested in investing?”)

Somehow, though, young men and women hopping up and down rhythmically didn’t wash away the  $2.4 billion in debt nor the losses each quarter.  Therefore, Six Flags is following the cool kids in town and filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy just to ditch most of the debt and then climb right back out.  You know, like that time you ran up $50,000 on your credit cards, declared bankruptcy, ditched the debt, and kept your house and car.

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Did Dan Snyder Tamper in Haynesworth Signing?

Albert Haynesworth, the $100 million man (who really only has $41 million guaranteed but gets to claim nine figures, thanks to the NFL ego inflation the cap rules provide) has basically been the Washington Redskins’ offseason.  Six draft picks (mostly low ones) and the Haynesworth signing pretty much cover the waterfront on the Potomac.

albert haynesworth

However, the NFL has started snooping around the events that led the Redskins to hand the keys to the castle to yet another prime player in a quest for a first-round playoff exit.  The Tennessee Titans have apparently told the league that Daniel Snyder and the ‘Skins tampered with their ability to resign Haynesworth in conflict with NFL rules.

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Daniel Snyder’s Six Flags Gets Delisted by NYSE

Times is tough. We all know it. And when the recession is hitting the economy so hard that the most famous amusement park chain in the country might go into bankruptcy proceedings, it’s a dark day. We can’t even sell fun, people! Sad faces everywhere.

Abandoned Roller Coaster
(Snyder quickly offered the roller coaster $40 million over 6 years.)

And so with a stock price well under a quarter, Six Flags is suspended from trading at the New York Stock Exchange, according to the LA TIMES. Incidentally, the Chairman of the Board at Six Flags is one Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins. Should bankruptcy be the call, Snyder’s stake in the company will probably be wiped out, which can’t be good news for the ‘Skins - how good do you think Clinton Portis is feeling about that deferred compensation now?

But there’s a deeper sports connection here, one that’s far more unsettling and unfair. Because according to BLOOMBERG, while shareholders are getting taken to the cleaners, the CEO - a former sports figure - is set to collect a handsome sum of money from the proceedings under an apparently unironically-named “success bonus”: Read more…

Haynesworth Crash Victim Now Wheelchair Bound

Albert Haynesworth, who just signed a $100 bazillion contract with the Redskins (that’s adjusted to be relative to the amount of money everyone else has right now), has literally hit a bump in the road. Unfortunately, that bump is Corey Edmonson, a guy who Haynesworth ran off the road in December. Al’s black Ferrari clipped Edmonson’s car, causing it to careen into a concrete barrier.

albert haynesworth

And even though Haynesworth has been indicted on two misdemeanor charges (one of which carries a maximum penalty of six months in jail), it appears as if he’s going to get off fairly light, considering that just four days before the accident he was cited for driving 103 in a 70 zone. And, when you consider what the victim of the accident is going through right now, it makes Haynesworth’s financial windfall (courtesy of Daniel Snyder) seem all that much more disgusting.

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Joe Gibbs Drives About As Well As He Coaches

Redskins fans can sleep a little easier, knowing their team isn’t the only train wreck caused by Joe Gibbs recently. Showing why he’s an owner and not a driver, Gibbs managed to cause a two-car pileup in a two-car race. I know rubbin’ is racin’, but maybe it’s not the best idea to run the primary sponsor of your NASCAR team off the road?

Joe Gibbs

Gibbs and Interstate Batteries chairman Norm Miller took to an Arena Racing track for a friendly, 10-lap race this past weekend in Hampton, Va. The two had raced each other in boats before, but never cars. Now we see why. Gibbs drove like he was going to be late for the early bird special at Old Country Buffet.

Video after the jump.

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Speed Read: Manny vs. Sox In WS? Don't Fight It

Okay, sure. There’s a Tampa Bay and Philadelphia in the way of this World Series matchup. But it’s a sports reporter’s dream, and the closer we come to living it, the more we have to grin and bear the cold reality that Manny Ramirez will probably return to Fenway Park, not in some dumpy Interleague series, but in the World freaking Series. The sooner you come to accept it, the less painful it will be to watch the myriad of sports columns be churned out surrounding Manny v. Boston, a Supreme Court case which will set dangerous precedent on how much one perplexing superstar can overshadow a baseball team. (Especially one with Nomar Garciaparra.)

Manny Ramirez (and Dodgers) vs. Red Sox?

The Los Angeles Dodgers got to sit on their laurels and watch the Boston Red Sox clinch their side of the ALDS with a dramatic 3-2 win over the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, thanks to midseason call-up Jed Lowrie driving in midseason pick-up Jason Bay in the ninth inning on a seeing-eye ground ball. It could have been the play of the game. Or maybe Bay’s double two batters earlier was the play of the game. Or maybe…

Mike Scioscia arguing

…it was Jason Varitek tagging out Reggie Willits, then dropping the ball. Here’s what happened. Willits pinch ran for Kendry Morales, who smashed a leadoff double in the ninth. Willits then advanced to third as the potential go-ahead run. But Erick Aybar’s missed bunt resulted in Cpt. Varitek chasing down Willits, tagging him off the base, falling to his knees, falling to his side, and having the ball dislodged from that big glove of his. Poor Mike Scioscia. All the arguing in the world won’t solidify that guarantee.

Hmm. How can we smoothly transition from controversial calls in late games to this man?

Ed Hochuli

It is guaranteed, unfortunately, that a certain referee and accentuator of abs and cloits will be scrutinized week-to-week. NFL whistleblower Ed Hochuli was at it again on Monday Night Football’s Vikings-Saints showdown. THE CRITICAL FANATIC notes that Hocks didn’t flag down a face mask penalty inflicted on Reggie Bush — a mask grab that resulted in a fumble and change of possession.

It’s really gotten to the point at which Hochuli & Co. will have all their calls sifted through with a very thin and thorough comb, while high school football referees run wild and free. By contrast, the nation probably hasn’t met Bill Carollo the way they’ve met Hochuli, but Carollo was the center of a controversial call, the BALTIMORE SUN reports, on the Ravens’ Terrell Suggs that partly led to the Titans’ 13-10 win over the Ravens. Carollo’s not getting much heat, but namely because he didn’t whistle dead Jay Cutler non-fumble fumble. (Even though Carollo’s call, like Hochuli’s, did help an unlikely undefeated team stay undefeated.)

So here’s another sentiment you can throw onto the pile to ensure that Hochuli is fairly and critically graded exactly like the rest of his peers. Meaning: they should ALL get beer bottles thrown at them.*

Hopefully Hochuli doesn’t get downgraded all the way down to officiating games in the Lingerie Football League. Actually, is that necessarily a bad thing?

Lingerie Football League (LFL) tryouts

  • 1190 KEX reports on the LFL tryouts: things seem to be going … um … good?
  • And now for an excitable report on the Washington Redskins from YOUTUBE and owner Daniel Snyder: WE BEAT PHILLY! WE BEAT DALLAS!” They sure did, Mr. Snyder. They sure did.
  • BASKETBAWFUL isn’t just about the Web. Oh no. They also scour the print edition of the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES and found WNBA agate placed near massage parlors and strip clubs.
  • Colombian soap opera star Elisa Sanchez was shot down by soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo, because she thought he was gay. Know what this means? You have a better chance at her than he does.
  • Know what we haven’t had in a while? Lyrical poetry on Lawrence Phillips’s recent sentencing. Ah, there we go.
  • Connecticut football might be out of the Top 25, but UConn lineman Rob Lunn is still ranked among hilarious college football bloggers, notes USA TODAY’s GAME ON.
  • Mentioned in yesterday’s SBB SPEED READ, Regan Smith’s DQ in Sunday’s Sprint Cup race could be the straw that broke DEI’s back, reports SPORTSTICKER.
  • THE EXAMINER talks with Golden State Warriors coach Don Nelson’s wife Joy about October’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
  • THE SCORES REPORT makes a good connection. 32 teams in the NFL, 32 reasons to love the season so far. One for each team? Well, sorta. The Lions, Rams, and Raiders share one spot, because combined, they are one hell of an NFL team.
  • THE GREENVILLE NEWS leaves no fact out of the story. Two South Carolina high school football players were arrested after a Waffle House skirmish, but the lede is buried by sharing their season stats to date.

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