These photos of Danica Patrick on vacation in Maui last month gave proof …
After viewing a certain woman’s red carpet pics, I know what happens next @ GoDaddy.com. It’s called a bukkake. Jeebus. Her stylist is fired
Is a stray shot or six of Aquanet reason to shower someone with such an insult?
Well ESPN’s “The Body” issue is right around the corner - due to hit newsstands on Oct. 9. And I’m pleased to confirm that Danica Patrick will indeed appear in the issue.
(I didn’t scuttle it, which is why she’s in the same issue talking about it)
One small detail though: she won’t be posing nude. Or semi-nude. Or at all.
A source tells me today that she does a mini-interview in the Oct. 9 issue that’ll run “in the regular motorsports section and not as a part of the Bodies theme.”
I was also told in that brief Q & A, she does address the prospect of undressing for ESPN mag photographers. Read more…
Because no battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools. - William Faulker, “The Sound and the Fury”
That was written by Mississippi’s “greatest author,” who I also thought was kind of overrated. Which, it turns out, could easily apply on multiple levels to the Ole Miss football team. On a national stage and with a No. 4 ranking, the Rebels completely imploded, falling 16-10 at South Carolina last night. It may or may not be true that no battle is ever won, but for Ole Miss, this one was certainly lost.
Mainly it was lost for two reasons: QB Jevan Snead had a miserable game, going 7 for 21 for 107 yards while being pressured by the Gamecocks’ defense all night. And Houston Nutt’s game plan reminded you of why he was barely a .500 coach with a backfield of Felix Jones and Darren McFadden at Arkansas. Nutt seemed unable to accept that the passing game just wasn’t working, and waited until the fourth quarter to turn to running back Dexter McLuster. He ran for 68 yards in the final quarter, but by then it was too little, too late. Read more…
• Sounds like Danica Patrick will be racing over to NASCAR next year.
• In the meantime, Novak Djokovic entertains the Flushing Meadows fans with his impression of John McEnroe - only to have the real deal come down & serve the Serb a lesson in an impromptu match.
Despite the wide belief that such a move would do nothing to further her career, Danica Patrick is apparently moving to NASCAR in 2010. According to ESPN, she isn’t giving up on the IRL, however; racing only in Nationwide Series and Trucks next year.
Not sure why this hasn’t happened sooner, actually. I mean, aside from the increased money, TV ratings, sponsorships and U.S. profile, there’s really no upside for Patrick to make this switch. Read more…
• Danica Patrick could be removing her racing suit to pose for an all-nude (yet tastefully done) pictorial for ESPN The Magazine.
(Well, it’s a start)
• And the Rick Pitino sex-tortion scandal gets more & more pitiful.
• What Would Tim Tebow Do? Apparently sue you for using him as the basis for a minor league promotional night.
(Saint Tebow with a pair of heavenly disciples - and before you ask, no, neither of them is Lucy Pinder)
• Michael Vick makes his Philadelphia Eagles debut. Let the circus begin!
• Pass the earplugs: John Daly is in Nashville working on a studio album.
• Did Jessica Simpson place a curse on Tony Romo for trying to mack on her girlfriends?
• The Houston Texans are taking a strong stand against excessive alcohol consumption - by serving their gameday beers in smaller cups.
Last February I wrote that I thought SPORTS ILLUSTRATED would eventually push its swimsuit models into posing nude in order to keep publishing’s largest selling annual mag copy, the vaunted SI Swimsuit Issue, on top of the circulation heap.
Perhaps someone at ESPN THE MAGAZINE was listening.
Yesterday I posted a graphic comparing ad revenue between SI and ESPN The Magazine. While SI more than doubled ESPN’s ad take, I wondered if the swimsuit issue was subtracted, would SI still be ahead of ESPN’s print offering?
(One of SbB’s suggestions for ESPN The Mag “Nude” Issue - Leryn Franco)
Apparently ESPN also took notice of that recently as I’ve since learned from two Bristol-based sources that in October ESPN The Magazine will roll out a “nude issue”, with the edition featuring SI Swimsuit Issue favorite Danica Patrick.
Remember when M. Night Shyamalan made good movies? And I’m not talking about the one with the kid seeing dead people. I’m talking about “Unbreakable”. That’s right, I’m the guy who liked that movie. I’ve stuck to my guns over the years on this on the off chance that the film enjoys a resurgence and I can take credit for being a fan all along.
(”One hundred and thirty one die. One survivor. He is unharmed.”)
That’s all beside the point. The reason I bring it up is that there are occasionally people who show up in the news who defy all logic and survive in the most dire of circumstances. For instance, there was that 12-year-old girl who survived a plane crash in the ocean a couple of months ago.
But a new candidate for our generation’s David Dunn has emerged, and his name is “Punch”. At least, that’s the nickname former hockey coach Ernie McLean has gone by for most of his adult life. McLean coached at the major junior level for 16 years, and led the New Westminster Bruins to four Memorial Cup titles (that’s the biggest prize at that level of hockey).
(Punch once got lost in the pattern of this jacket for three days without food or shelter)
He’s also survived a number of incidents that would’ve killed most mere mortals. The latest came this week, when the 77-year-old endured five days and four nights lost in the wilderness in British Columbia when he fell into a crevice while prospecting for gold (they still do that?). With no food, and subsisting just on stream water, he spent entire days walking and eventually reached higher ground, where he was spotted by a helicopter search team.
Most 77-year-olds couldn’t last a full day without their heart pills and a “Diagnosis Murder” rerun. But this is no ordinary 77-year-old. Says CBC in a story about McLean’s latest heroics:
Reed credited McLean’s legendary toughness, and a bit of luck, for his survival, noting McLean previously survived a plane crash in Saskatchewan, and walked out of the woods alive a few days later despite losing an eye and breaking several bones.
He’s also survived car accidents, being run over by a bulldozer and being stranded on a frozen lake in freezing conditions for several days.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure if you’ve wandered around without an eye for a few days that being a little wet in the forest isn’t going to really phase you. Perhaps McLean should ditch the gold prospecting in the deep wilderness and do something a little more acceptable for an old guy, like going to the golf course with a big net and fishing out Titleists. See if you can turn that into a weeklong “Blair Witch” debacle, Punch. (h/t to the PUCK DOCTORS)
(I guess being lost in nice scenery is better than being locked in a car trunk for a week)
Perhaps she should be more worried about her husband hanging out with teenagers, but it looks like Danica Patrick has made her decision about where she’ll be racing next year. And while jumping to NASCAR would provide unbelievable marketing opportunities and a much larger audience, both on TV and at the track, it appears that she’ll be hanging around with IndyCar for at least one more year. (I bet the new turbo button had something to do with it.)
(Maybe if she stopped holding the steering wheel like this, she’d win a race or two)
MVN’s Christopher Estrada seems convinced from the tweets of the INDIANAPOLIS STAR’s Curt Cavin that Danica is about to sign a new deal with Andretti Green Racing. But all the L.A. TIMES would say on Sunday morning is that the chances of her staying were “more than 50%,” and an AP story from after Sunday’s race in Sonoma made it sound that while a deal was close, nothing was really finalized.
I suppose there’s not too much to be read into any of this. While Patrick visited several NASCAR teams during the year, it doesn’t sound like any real serious offers have been made for her services. Perhaps she’s using the news of her impending new deal with AGR as a last-ditch call for offers from the left-turn circuit. For now, her line of reasoning is, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.” That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement.
Danica leaving IndyCar would be a huge blow for the series, to the point where viability would have to become a concern. There’s nothing wrong with Dario Franchitti, Scott Dixon, and Ryan Briscoe, but could you pick them out of a police lineup? Ratings are hockey-esque as it is, so removing the one bankable star would be a big problem. Would ABC even want to show races other than the Indy 500?
For now, that’s a question that doesn’t need to be asked.
• BASEBALL DIGEST wonders why the Mets acknowledged every other living member of the 1969 World Series championship team during a ceremony on Saturday night (even those that didn’t attend), but completely ignored second baseman Ken Boswell. Boswell played 102 games that year and spent eight years with the Mets, but reportedly didn’t even get an invitation to the celebration.
• A golf course groundskeeper found a 10-pound mammoth tooth on one of the greens at the course he works at in Michigan. Does that count as an immovable obstruction, or do you have to putt around the tooth?
• Well, Michelle Wie has finally won something. Of course, she needed 11 other people to help her do it. The Americans wore some nice matching outfits and took down the Europeans to win something called the Solheim Cup.
• Jason Giambi’s pulling a Dave Kingman and going to Colorado’s AAA affiliate to play for a week or so before the team plans to call him up for September. Am I dating myself with a Dave Kingman reference?
• NESN is freaking out that Ken Rosenthal supposedly suggested that the Red Sox might acquire Billy Wagner to be their closer next year and then ship Jonathan Papelbon up to somewhere other than Boston. The theory being that they’re grooming Daniel Bard for the closer job and just need a guy like Wagner to bridge the gap. Perhaps this is why Paps isn’t too comfortable with the whole thing. And I’m NOT going to post the dance video again…oh, who am I kidding:
(”Nawt Paps! Who’ll do the rivahdance? Wagnah sucks!”)
• Ravens rookie linebacker Tony Fein was arrested last night after he allegedly shoved a police officer. A security guard at a restaurant that Fein was eating at thought that he saw Fein pass a gun to one of his friends. It was a cell phone. Police arrived and then things got testy. This is why I’ve always said that the Glock Blackberry was a bad idea.
• I thought John Smoltz refused a AAA assignment, so why was he pitching against the Padres yesterday?
• At least 27 Tulane football players have been struck by a rapidly spreading flu bug. It’s not yet known whether or not they have swine flu, but it’s not being ruled out at this point.
(I’m pretty sure I could punt a ball into that screen)
• The WIZ OF ODDS says Barrow, Alaska’s high school football team is off to an unfortunate 0-3 start after a 48-13 loss at home on the blue turf on Saturday afternoon. Barrow is the northernmost town in North America and is only accessible by plane. And yes, they start playing in mid-August to take advantage of “summer” temps that soar into the low 40s. For more on Barrow’s team, see this post we did last year.
• The man arrested for stabbing English soccer player Calum Davenport is the boyfriend of Davenport’s sister. Cara Davenport is pregnant, allegedly with the attempted-murderer dude’s child. And now her brother will likely never play soccer again, and her mother is also in the hospital for stab wounds. Yikes.