ESPN Reporter Erin Andrews Sure Can … Dance!

Here’s some screen grabs and video of ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews last night during ABC’s Dancing With The Stars reality show.

Erin Andrews Dancing With The Stars With Shirtless Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Erin Andrews Dancing With The Stars With Shirtless Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Erin Andrews Dancing With The Stars With Shirtless Maksim Chmerkovskiy

This particular move was inspired by Bob Ley and Linda Cohn in the break room at Bristol:

Erin Andrews Dancing With The Stars With Shirtless Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Also below are some captures and video from her appearance on ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Show last night. (I need 600cc’s of carbs … STAT!)

Erin Andrews and Jimmy Kimmel

Erin Andrews and Jimmy Kimmel

ESPN can probably hardly wait to get her back on that N.C. State sideline to take advantage of her new-found, crossover celebrity status. (Still waiting to hear from TMZ if Kate Gosselin has landed sideline duty for Wake Forest-Navy on ESPN3.)  Read more…

Greece’s Dancing With The Stars Loan Approved

Can’t say that I watch Dancing With The Stars, but if I had the ability to somehow plug into the Greek television version, there’d be no coaxing necessary.

Erika Prezerakou photos video pictures huge booty greek pole vaulter

Greek pole vaulter Erika Prezerakou is a currently a celebrity contestant on the show in in her native country, which recently was brought to my attention.

Erika Prezerakou photos video pictures huge booty greek pole vaulter

If ever there was a reason to break format and go with solo pole dancing, this is the time. And the Greeks are just the kind to do it.

Erika Prezerakou photos video pictures huge booty greek pole vaulter

Especially considering her partner looks like Frank Stallone - after losing a kidney as a child.

Erika Prezerakou photos video pictures huge booty greek pole vaulter Read more…

Turns Out Erin Andrews is a Very Expressive Lady

A friend breathlessly called last night to tell me that Erin Andrews was due up next on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars. I had less than no interest, and didn’t watch. From these well-timed screen captures and video, perhaps I should have.

Erin Andrews on Dancing With The Stars

Thing I’m most happy about is that Andrews is back to her old self. Actually, scratch that, she’s obviously past that point and is comfortable enough to show us a whole ‘nother side of her personality.

Erin Andrews on Dancing With The Stars

Happy for her.


Though an unconfirmed rumor is going around that Tony Kornheiser was distraught over her performance. Something about a “sausage casing.”
Read more…

Lawrence Taylor Arrested, Would Like Some Visine

UPDATE (6:47 am PT): MIAMI HERALD has a confusing account of the Taylor arrest. Did he hit another car and try to drive off in a car missing one wheel? Not clear. Jump in the comments if you can figure it out.

Lawrence Taylor arrested? And here I thought that the first contestant on “Dancing With The Stars” to be hauled to jail this year was surely going to be Donnie Osmond. At least the booking went smoothly; LT surely knows the procedure.

Lawrence Taylor

There aren’t a lot of details, but TMZ was the first to report that Taylor was arrested at 9:57 p.m. on Sunday in Dade County, Florida, for leaving the scene of an accident, in which there was also property damage. I’ll leave you to examine his mug shot and ponder what was going on.

But more potentially damaging than any of that is the following graph from the TMZ report: Read more…

Speed Read: An Evening Of Florida Pillow-Fighting

Normally, you don’t see a broadcast booth spend a plurality of a football game raving about the “time of possession” statistic. Then again, normally, you don’t see a team win said battle by a full 30 minutes of game time, which is precisely what Miami did to Indianapolis last night. And then again, you don’t normally see a team control the ball for fewer than 15 minutes of the game… and win anyway.

Pierre Garcon gets two thumbs down
(”Okay, so you just scored the go-ahead touchdown. Allow me to retort: BOOOO THUMBS DOWN TO YOU BOOOOOOO!”)

But lo and behold, thanks to the quickest of quick-strike offenses, the Colts did exactly that; thanks to touchdown drives of 1, 6, and 4 plays, Indianapolis prevailed in Miami, 27-23. Indeed, the Colts’ longest drive of the night was a 9-play drive that led to a 2nd quarter field goal; on the other side of the field, the Fins had exactly one shorter drive: an 8-play, 25-yard drive that ended in a punt. After that, literally every drive of theirs was 9 plays or longer. That’s the longest shortest drive since [ERROR WE ARE NOT ELIAS SPORTS BUREAU CLIENTS ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?].

Ah, but without turnovers, time of possession is effectively meaningless. Read more…

Speed Read: Clippers’ Balls Have Dropped Again

The Los Angeles Clippers won the most favored martyr award last night in the NBA Draft Lottery and, with it, the top pick in the 2009 NBA Draft next month (likely to be Blake Griffin). The Memphis Grizzlies and Oklahoma City Thunder now follow, leaving the Grizzlies to pretend Mike Conley, Jr. is the answer to anything but “Name one theoretically famous Junior” and draft Hasheem Thabeet.

Michael Olowokandi

Oklahoma City, your Ricky Rubio awaits. (Ricky will love the fried bologna sammich at Toby Keith’s I Love This Restaurant a block away from the arena.) A staff containing Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, Jeff Green, Rubio, and your dear departed grandmother should be capable of 50 wins in two years. If you find it less ghoulish, we’ll refer to your passed loved one as Nenad Krstic. Same mobility, anyway.

(By the way, please send your love to Sacramento tonight as they had the league’s worst record and washed out with the fourth pick.  And you thought living in Sacramento was punishment enough.)

Sacramento Kings Flip Off The Camera

Your intrepid correspondent pulled into a local sports bar in the Phoenix area just thirty minutes before the NBA Draft Lottery truly started (which was, of course, thirty minutes after it officially kicked off).  That will be the best way to take the pulse of the community regarding the first lottery draft pick for the Phoenix Suns likely to play for the team since Amare Stoudemire, your correspondent said to himself rather self-consciously.

It can be officially reported that the patient is dead; there was no pulse in the greater Phoenix community regarding the draft lottery.  The normally-popular bar was half-empty and the televisions kept being turned from the NBA lottery to practically any other sport.  In fact, the only person to keep half an eye on the proceedings was Dan Majerle’s brother.

Surely, much of the passivity came from having such a slim chance at a top-three pick, but the collected crowd seemed much more interested in the Western Conference Finals for the NBA and NHL.  They chose wisely as the Denver Nuggets couldn’t hold their late lead  against the Los Angeles Lakers and therefore provided another thrilling finish, a 105-103 Lakers victory to kick off the NBA edition of the Western Conference Finals.

George Karl of the Denver Nuggets

Also, game 2 of the NHL edition ended in the first overtime with a 3-2 Detroit Red Wings victory over the Chicago Blackhawks to extend the series lead to 2-0. The ‘Hawks could not stop giving up the puck in the most exposed fashion possible, leading to two breakaway goals, including the three-on-one clincher.  You’d think a battle between a dinosaur and a human would turn out differently.

Chicago Blackhawks Detroit Red Wings

(The bar didn’t care for that result; Arizonans are either transplanted Colorado residents or former Illinoisans.  No love lost for Detroit from either quarter.)

On the other hand, the true locals were left to stew yesterday over news that a federal bankruptcy judge couldn’t bring the NHL or the former and future owners of the Phoenix Coyotes together on a deal regarding the sale of the team and a possible move back to Canada. Instead, he sent both sides into mediation and told them to hash it out themselves.

Jobing.com Arena Phoenix Coyotes

Of course, the NHL couldn’t resist putting gun to skate during yesterday’s proceedings.  For starters, the lawyer for the city of Glendale, AZ, had to admit that he’s never been to a Coyotes game.  Then the judge said late in the day, “The NHL is like a dog chasing a car. The question is, ‘What do you do if you catch it?’”  Bury it in Arizona, perhaps?

The relocation hearing in late June won’t answer the question, either; multiple rounds of appeals will surely follow if all sides can’t talk it out.  It all adds up to at least a month of indecision, misdirection, and public proclamations.  It’s not unlike the buildup to the NBA Draft, really.

When Arizonans aren’t paying attention to hockey mirages or 14th picks or UFOs in 2009, they might be taking in this hail of bullet points:

Where should the Phoenix Coyotes end up?

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Cheerleader Turned Reality Star Has Playboy Offer

Melissa Rycroft is one busy gal. The former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader was chosen but then dumped on “The Bachelor” season finale, and is currently shaking her money maker on “Dancing With The Stars”.

Melissa Rycroft

And now the rah-rah girl-turned-reality TV star is being approached to also make her mark in the print media. Specifically, magazines. More specifically, nudie magazines. Yes, Melissa is being pursued to pose for Playboy.

Read more…

Shawn Johnson Fan Arrested Breaking Into Studio

After the Beijing Olympics, 17-year-old Shawn Johnson suddenly has one of the world’s most recognizable faces. She’s young, she’s an Olympic gold medalist (she would have won more than one of those, if not for Alicia Sacramone), and she’s had her own official fan club since before her 15th birthday. In fact, that’s part of her problem, as one of those fans, a 34-year-old man named Robert O’Ryan, has taken things way, way, way too far, trying to break onto the set of a CBS studio where Johnson is filming the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars.

Shawn Johnsons Bikini Mom Photo

The story comes from TMZ, via FANHOUSE — and was mentioned in this morning’s Speed Read, below — and it’s about as scary a fan issue as we can remember. Not only did O’Ryan claim he was “meant to be with,” Johnson, he also was packing a .45 caliber handgun, a shotgun, and a plethora of material that could be used to kidnap someone; duct tape, zip tiles, maps to different Johnson locations (the CBS studio, her house, etc.), love letters and “other clippings and information.”

Read more…

Yeah, Brett, We Get It - You Like Shooting Things

• What’s more hilarious than showing up at practice and noticing that Brett Favre has put a dead animal in your locker? Reportedly it was a wild turkey, but usually when dead things end up stuffed in lockers in New Jersey, it’s not something to laugh about.

Brett Favre hunting

Ozzie Guillen is in love with a certain team on the south side…of the country.

Misty May-Treanor can win gold medals running around on a beach, but she can’t physically keep up in a competition that still includes Cloris Leachman. So now the well-endowed lawyer’s daughter is back in.

Vladimir Putin released a DVD to teach you about Judo. Next in the series of world leader instructional DVDs: Robert Mugabe’s ground-breaking series of curling lessons.

• Even Frank Caliendo has had enough of the Frank TV ads. And he’s the star of the show.

Read more…

Is Kardashian Back On Dancing With The Stars?

Who had a better night on Monday? While Reggie Bush might have returned two punts for touchdowns for the Saints, his team still did lose. Meanwhile, his main squeeze Kim Kardashian might be back on Dancing with the Stars, as E! ONLINE reports that she is in line for a repeat visit after Olympic gold medalist Misty May-Treanor ruptured her Achilles’ tendon prepping for her latest dance.

Kim Kardashian and Misty May-Treanor

Replacing May-Treanor with the already-eliminated Kardashian might strike some people as a weak attempt to replace one sex object with another, but really it a…OK, who are we kidding - that’s exactly what’s going on here. Would you rather see Cloris Leachman shake her Granny wares at you? I didn’t think so.

Read more…