Speed Read: Howie Long’s Playoff Emasculation

Real men have haircuts level with the earth’s horizon. Real men don’t laugh at Terry Bradshaw’s jokes. And real men become spokespeople for Chevrolet-brand pickup trucks and look down on cars with convenient tailgate steps and heated steering wheels and seatbelts, because seatbelts are for queers and real men can crash through a windshield and jog three miles later that day. Howie Long is a real man. And if the FOX analyst-slash-truck-salesman had his way with the NFL playoff teams, he might be able to sniff out a girlie man or two.

Kurt Warner and Howie Long

Are those … “man sleeves?” Did Kurt Warner have to cover up his arms in Charlotte’s chilly willy weather, of all places? Wasn’t it, like, 50 degrees out there? Did his mom wife crotchet him a yarn jockstrap? Did you know Long would play in sub-zero temperatures shirtless, if given the opportunity by the league? Also, frostbite builds character, and hypothermia increases sperm count. And don’t even get Howie started on what NFC Championship Game quarterback Donovan McNabb was wearing between offensive possessions:

McNabb in coat

A fun dilemma brought up by FANHOUSE: Is it ethical for Wake Forest fans to rush the court after a win over UNC? After all, UNC was No. 3, and suffered their second loss in as many Sundays, and Wake Forest was a scrappy 4th in the national polls. Blogger Adam … well, Adam, argues “Court storming is actually an insult to your players. Court storming is an admission that you didn’t think they could win.” Well, sure, but … so what? In Adam’s rules, he mentions it’s OK to storm after any Duke win. Well, isn’t UNC at that same level of animosity? Wake may be No. 4 and even Wilbon called the upset two days ago, but a No. 4 over a No. 3 win means it’s a top-five showdown, and even in the SbB-model-stacked ACC, that’s a couple-times-a-year occurrence, and Wake just won one of those. My alma mater lost to Savannah F’in State this year. Let the Deacons run wild and free, and enjoy this one.


If it wasn’t for HULU.COM, nobody’s watching Saturday Night Live anymore except for drunk people who can’t find anything else on TV. That website might singlehandedly save that show. The cast may not be in its prime, and it could be in a perpetual Kansas City Royals state of infancy, but a few solid clips seem to arise from recent episodes. In this case, it’s Kenan Thompson as Charles Barkley, as portrayed last Saturday. (Cue it up to 1:29 in if you don’t want to listen to Seth Meyers.) All in all, a solid skit, although if there was a way to transplant Frank Caliendo’s voice into Thompson’s larynx, that might be the opposite of turrible.

Red Sox '57 Chevy

Before you drive away, please observe the following landmarks, which are clearly marked on your TripTik:

Which team do you most want to see in the Super Bowl?

View Results

Nude Curling Calendar Still Selling Like Hot Rocks

Several years ago, a group of women curlers decided on a surefire way to gain attention for their sport: lots of flesh. They posed for a Women of Curling calendar which featured some of the more attractive broomers (or stone throwers or whatever they do) sans clothing. The calendar has become a yearly fundraiser for various charities, with the 2009 edition featuring some of the spiciest photos yet.

Women of Curling nude calendar cover

And the EDMONTON SUN says that- shockingly - calendars with hot women in various states of undress happen to be very popular. They report that this year’s calendar has sold about 2,000 copies since it was released in September, a very good number for a non-Olympic year.

(Photos of the curling cuties after the jump)

Read more…

Blog-O-Rama: I Have No Idea What Your Line Is

Read more…

Bruce, Bon Jovi Might Host Curling Reality Show?

Chris Zelkovich of the TORONTO STAR reports today that NBC is seriously considering “a 10-episode sports reality show that will give the winners a shot at competing in the U.S. championships and even going to the 2010 Olympics.

Bruce Springsteen Bon Jovi

Of course, the whole point of the show is to promote the net’s future coverage of the Olympics. But there’s just one small problem: No one will watch.

Enter Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi. Really. Read more…