8:34 PMPete Thamel of the New York Times from the Alabama-Florida post game presser in Atlanta: "A woman from Alabama in the press conference just told Tebow that women in Alabama love him. Totally bizarre."
8:19 PM For the 3rd time, Bob Stoops denied that he has interest in the Notre Dame job: "I will not be the next coach at Notre Dame." Stoops acts exasperated about being repeatedly hounded, but he knows his lying peers created this annual media feeding frenzy.
UPDATE: CBS 4’s Vic Lombardi Tweets Wednesday night: “We know the decision…do you really think Bohn is gonna fire Hawk on Thanksgiving? C’mon. He’s coming back.”
Two sources inside the CU football progam told CBS4’s Vic Lombardi that Hawkins recently met with Unversity Chancellor Phil DiStefano and came away from the meeting with the understanding that he’s safe for another year no matter what happens on Friday against Nebraska.
Lombardi also reports “Colorado Athletic Director Mike Bohn said he could not confirm anything until he returns to Boulder on Thursday.”
UPDATE: Florida’s Riley Cooper also made a jaw-jacking grab in the UF-UGA tilt. I matched up videos of both catches today for you to decide (vote on) which was better. I still say Jackson’s (below) was the superior haul.
Missouri’s Jerrell Jackson is your leader in the clubhouse for college football’s catch of the year.
At first glance, we had no choice but to stand up and applaud for the Colorado athletic department; their public stance that they would not give press credentials to media organizations that allow anonymous and pseudonymous comments appeared to be a bold but principled stand against one of the most noxious aspects of new media: the anonymous attack. Yes, we know these are available at SbB, but you don’t see us begging for press credentials, either.
But then when we actually looked at what Colorado’s policy was, we realized it was little more than just the same arbitrary, pro-dead-tree provincialism that’s infected sports media during this transitional period. That principled stand against Internet tough guys? Yeah, not so much if you’re already running a newspaper.
You may remember Ben Burney, the fifth-year senior cornerback for the Colorado Buffaloes with the big media aspirations. I have no idea if he ever finished his novel (“It’s basically sex on paper,” he explained at the time), or got to work on the feature-length movie he was planning. But I do know that his blogging career is now over.
Burney was supposed to write a season-long blog for the university’s athletic web site, CUBUFFS.COM, describing life on campus from a football player’s perspective. The problem was that he made it a little too real, kicking things off by detailing waking up next to a woman in bed, and describing his libido.
Despite what marketers and sportswriters want you to believe, professional athletes are not usually that different off the court than the general population. OK, sure, there’s the whole “millions of dollars” thing that lends itself to a different lifestyle than we live, but as people, athletes have the same different personalities and interests as anyone else.
That doesn’t stop sportswriters from treating every athlete with a unique set of skills or interests as if they were the greatest and most surprising person who ever lived. Steve Nash has political opinions! Alan Page is a judge! Amos Zereoue likes to cook! The latest example of athlete-as-human-curiosity is that of Keith Miller, a former Arena football player and current New York Met opera singer. My goodness, a retired minor league football that can sing opera? Break out the sports cliches!
I think I’ve found the world’s worst person: his name is Jaime Salcedo, and he’s the owner of Showbiz Productions in Jacksonville, FL. He first made a name for himself by selling the “Vick Chew Toy,” which is not related to the one the St. Paul Saints gave away. In fact, if you read the fine print at the toy’s Web site, it’s not even Michael Vick at all. Crazy how someone could get that idea, right? Check out the promotional video for yourself:
So while the toy and it’s cutting-edge “dog material” might be an overpriced, one-note joke aimed at making a quick buck, it’s not really horrible. Now, creating a doll based on a toddler who was gruesomely killed by her mother, that would be hideous. Folks, let me introduce you to the “Sunshine Caylee Doll,” also a creation from the monstrous kitchens of Showbiz Productions, meant to be a “tribute” to slain Florida two-year-old Caylee Anthony.
Of course, as Salcedo told Fox News, he wanted to be sensitive to Anthony’s memory, so he made sure the doll had little resemblance to her - even if it did play her favorite song “You Are My Sunshine” when you pressed its stomach. After all, making the doll look like Anthony would be “too morbid.”
But Salcedo wanted to make sure everyone knew he wasn’t a heartless slime trying to make money exploiting dead toddlers and mangled dogs. He was also a philanthropist, pledging to donate portions of the sales of the Vick Chew Toy to local animal shelters and $5,000 from the sales of the Sunshine Caylee Doll to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
Well, Salcedo did make a donation to that last group: for a grand total of $10. And it seems evident that no donations were made to local animal shelters from sales of the Vick doll. So not only was Salcedo making money off of products in horrible taste, but he was pulling a big grift by using charity donations that never happened to support sales.
Finally, someone is doing something about it: the JACKSONVILLE TIMES-UNION says the Florida Attorney General’s office is suing Salcedo for $20,000 for making false advertising claims, and seeking an injunction against further sales of the dolls. Florida Attorney General Bill McCollum said that using a respected organization such as the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children as a front makes things even more reprehensible:
“Any company that intentionally misleads innocent consumers to believe they are contributing to worthy charitable causes is absolutely reprehensible,” he said. “It is disgusting that a company would exploit a tragic situation for personal gain.”
Of course, when you consider that Salcedo himself estimates that he sold at least 200,000 Michael Vick dolls at $7.77 each (grossing more than $1,500,000), a $20,000 fine feels like a slap on the wrist. I know times are tough, but the people of Jacksonville can’t band together and find the time and money to get the supplies needed for a good old fashioned tar and feathering? I’ll even chip in and by the first barrel of tar.
At least it was perfect weather for a run, and also for shooting a low score: it was the second-lowest scoring first round in tournament history. The Day One leader is Chad Campbell, who set a tournament record with birdies on his first five holes and flirted with history before back-to-back closing bogies left him at 65, one stroke ahead of Hunter Mahan and Jim Furyk.
How crazy was the scoring on Thursday? If Phil Mickelson had shot 73 in last year’s first round, he would have been tied for 29th, five shots off the lead. Instead, he starts today tied for 51st, looking at an eight shot deficit. Even the over-50 crowd was getting into the scoring act: Larry Mize sits in a tie for fourth after a 67, while the group at 70 includes Greg Norman and Bernhard Langer.
Also firing a two-under: Tiger Woods, who probably could have been near the top of the leaderboard if one of five or six putts go in instead of burning the lip of the cup. The other main contender we previewed yesterday, Padraig Harrington, also had a quietbut efficient round, going one lower than Woods. Even Gary Player, in his final Masters, shot a respectable 78. In fact, every player broke 80 except for New Zealander Michael Campbell, who must feel great that even Craig Stadler’s portly butt beat him by three shots.
Finally, Andrew Bynum’s comeback from a knee injury might not be on par (get it?) with Tiger Woods’, but it couldn’t come at a better time for the Los Angeles Lakers. The LOS ANGELES TIMES reports that Bynum looked comfortable and healthy in his return after missing 32 games from a torn MCL, racking up 16 points and seven rebounds in just 21 minutes as the Lakers blew past the Nuggets, 116-102. Which begs the question: Could his injury actually have been a break for the Lakers, as their center is now rested and not worn down by the rigors of a long regular season?
A few weeks ago, we told you about the Fifth-Third, a 4,800 calorie, four-pound burger that is the new entry at the concession stands at West Michigan Whitecaps games. CNBC says that the gut-buster made its debut last night, with 107 of them being sold. Of the 32 people who tried to eat the whole thing, 17 were successful. Lord, I don’t want to know what the toilets looked like around the seventh inning stretch.
(CNBC’s Darren Rovell ponders the glory of the Fifth Third Burger)
LOCKDOWN CORNER says that former Green Bay Packers lineman Syd Kitson is trying to create the world’s most environmentally-friendly city somewhere in Florida. In true Green Bay style, everything is either powered by sharp cheddar cheese, or the light shining off of the still-brilliant aura of Brett Favre.
Speaking of drafts, about the only thing the WNBA does right is take advantage of the one-week period right after the NCAA title game when people still remember that women’s basketball exists to hold their draft. The No. 1 pick? Louisville’s Angel McCoughtry, to the Atlanta Dream.
Remember the kerfuffle caused when Teresa Earnhardt refused to let her stepson Dale Earnhardt Jr. take his No. 8 with him when he left DEI to go to Hendrick Motorsports? I guess karma really is a … you know. FOX SPORTS says the No. 8 car will be permanently parked, as DEI has had to shut down operations on Aric Almirola’s team because of a lack of sponsors.
The person I would least expect to be in a Twitter controversy is Joe Paterno, who probably thinks that’s what happens when your pacemaker gets to close to a microwave. But ESPN.COM says his son Jay might have inadvertantly spilled the beans that the Big Ten is banning night games in November, meaning the Penn St./Ohio St. tilt will be played in the afternoon.
Yesterday’s least-surprising arrest had to be that of volatile former NBA guard Vernon Maxwell. The GAINESVILLE SUN says he was arrested in Florida Wednesday morning and charged with a probation violation stemming from failure to pay child support.
BALL DON’T LIE has the gripping story not coming to Broadway next fall: “Nellieball: The Musical.” Much like Don Nelson’s teams, it starts off promising but runs out of steam by the final act and falls apart.
Last time we heard about Nebraska tight end Hunter Teafatiller, he was having a party thrown in his “honor” as he was preparing to go to jail on a DUI charge. I guess it’s time to make another keg run in Lincoln, because the AP says he’s been arrested again, this time for driving on a suspended license.
Colorado Buffaloes CB Ben Burney gets college. No, no… obviously, the fifth-year senior gets college. He’s been faithfully attending classes and receiving lodging and all the other accouterments of higher education.
(He works with kids, too! Mothers, line up your daughters for this one)
Don’t miss the film or the book, either: he’s promised the book will be “basically sex on paper”. That’s probably much more sanitary than other methods. See what he’s learned in school? (Oh, and good luck finding the book: he’s basically self-publishing under a pseudonym. We’re guessing “B. Flo Soldyer”.)
Let’s face it, recruiting is a tricky, inexact science. Even if you correctly identify the prospects who’ll thrive in your program and turn into All-Americans, there’s still the issue of getting them committed and on campus–and doing so within the draconian bylaws of the NCAA. When doing all this while competing against over 100 other Division I coaches (and their Type-A personalities), any edge, however small, can be crucial.
(Surprisingly, this photo has been edited.)
All that withstanding, though, any recruiting tactic that involves imitations of bribery and the direct involvement of the Secret Service might need to be reconsidered. And that’s where we find Dan Hawkins and the Colorado Buffaloes. Hawkins’ staff, for one glorious, marginally appropriate year, tried to lure recruits to campus by delivering–we are not making this up–boxes containing $333,000 of fake money.Read more…
