8:07 PMGregg Rosenthal of Pro Football Talk reports that Vince Lombardi's life story will soon be adapted into a Broadway Play. Let's just hope Hank Williams, Jr., gets nowhere near the score.
7:57 PMJudy Battista of the New York Times on missed tackles in the NFL: "One trend most exposes how poor tackling is. According to the N.F.L., there were 81 touchdowns of 50 yards or more through Week 8, the most since 1970, great for highlight reels, a nightmare for defenses."
7:36 PMLou Holtz observing Opposite Day on ESPN set today after Navy dominated Notre Dame during 23-14 victory in South Bend today: "It was obvious Notre Dame was the better football team."
7:17 PM Here's a thought: When watching the Yankees ticker-tape parade from one of the adjacent buildings looming over the route, don't toss documents out the window that contain people's social security numbers. Or meatballs.
I think we can all agree that mankind was just pretty much creeping along in the dark until we developed the ability to project TV pundits as holograms. This idea is nothing new, of course - CNN was using it during Presidential election coverage, and Walt Disney populated his Disneyland Haunted House ride with ghost holograms in the 1960s. But now it’s ESPN’s turn.
Debuting a gimmick that they will in no way overuse and beat into the ground within a week, the WWL demonstrated its new hologram capabilities in a demonstration they dubbed “the ultimate interview,” featuring Chris Berman, Bob Ley and ESPN executive vice president of technology Chuck Pagano, all seen above. Now ESPN correspondents can be “beamed in” during live studio broadcasts, saving the networks thousands in … well, will it save anything? What’s the difference between that and a split screen? Let ESPN explain.
Big news today, as ESPN announces that as part of its 30th anniversary, it will honor long-time employees with a Walk of Fame at their Bristol campus. Just slightly less prestigious than the one in Hollywood, this Walk of Fame will feature a freshman class of 43 staffers, all of whom have been with the network since its first year. Except for that poor guy who Berman screamed at that time; he’s living in the jungle in the Philippines.
We wonder, will new ESPN employees be hazed for stepping on Bob Ley’s star? Who will clean the spit and vegetable matter from Dick Vitale’s? And what other commemorative attraction ideas were considered before the Walk of Fame was approved? Top rejected ESPN 30th anniversary ideas: Read more…
We’re also learning more about Rodrigues, like the fact that she’s a 23-year-old former stripper - in fact, they met at an “exotic” club in Brazil. (And I don’t want to know how “exotic” things can get in a Brazilian strip club - I just hope that jaguars aren’t involved.) And she had received a restraining order against him earlier this year that required him to stay 200 meters away from her and quit drinking.
Needless to say, while this is a tragedy, perhaps it’s not a shock. After all, Gatti’s sister is claiming that Rodrigues had planned to murder him and was only in it for the money. Meanwhile, Rodrigues’ lawyers are apparently going to claim that she is “too skinny” to have strangled Gatti to death. Which would make sense if they claim he was conscious when this happened, not passed out after a night of drinking (and possibly getting stabbed in the back of the head).
In less messy and horrific news, you may think the Home Run Derby is at best a pointless exhibition that tarnishes baseball by reducing it to its basest level (MASH BALL HARD) while ignoring the subtleties the make the game so enjoyable. You many even possibly consider it a major factor in the rise of the Steroid Era. Or, you might just enjoy seeing some of the game’s biggest names blast the living bejeezus out of the ball while drinking enough to ignore the infernal booth combo that is Chris Berman and Steve Phillips.
While last night’s edition at Busch Stadium didn’t have the transcendent moments of, say, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa hitting rubber baseballs with Flubber cores out of Fenway Park, or Josh Hamilton hitting 500 home runs in one round, it was entertaining enough. And while the hometown crowd might have been disappointed with their hero Albert Pujols bowing out in the semifinals, they seemed to enjoy the show that Prince Fielder put on in winning the event.
Maybe the newly vegetarian Fielder was following Pujols’ lead from when the Cardinals slugger blew out the “i” in the “Big Mac Land” sign in the Busch Stadium outfield deck earlier this season - with his goal to bring the whole sign down to punish McDonald’s for their carnivore ways. No matter what the reason, Fielder had enough in the tank to hold off Nelson Cruz (again, I said “some” of the game’s biggest names) in the finals after bombing an event-best 503-foot blast in the semis.
And then there was poor Brandon Inge, who had been so excited to be a part of the Home Run Derby that he said it was bigger than actually making his first All-Star team. I’m guessing he didn’t feel the same way after becoming the first batter since Jason Bay in 2005 to take a donut in the first round - or as my friends used to call it, “Posting a Piazza” (named after Mike Piazza, who went 0-for-his career with blanks in 1993 and 1994).
Meanwhile, the Los Angeles Clippers might be ready to make a move that could either turn them into playoff contenders or…OK, let’s be honest, it’s not possible to ruin the Clippers, so what harm could come from Allen Iverson joining the team? Marcus Camby played with A.I. in Denver, and he’s on board with the idea, with PRO BASKETBALL NEWS saying that he’s willing to help recruit Iverson to the team. Even Eric Gordon is OK with it, even if that means losing playing time in a backcourt with Iverson and Baron Davis.
The one person not too hip on Allen Iverson right now in Los Angeles seems to be Ron Artest, whose opinion doesn’t matter too much since he’s now playing for the Lakers. Plus, he’s totally nuts. But his Tweet that Iverson is “missing more shots than Muhammad Ali with a sniper rifle” is pretty damned good.
Still, Iverson could provide the veteran leadership and role model that Blake Griffin could use as he establishes himself in the NBA - and he might be a force, based on his NBA Summer League debut of 27 points and 12 rebounds versus the Lakers yesterday. Except for that whole “practice” thing.
Hey kids, want to spend money to get football lessons from Andre Rison? After all, he told the ALTOONA MIRROR that he’ll spend the second day showing you his highlights so he can “really let them know, in my eyes, I was the best to ever play the game.” And parents, if you think Andre Rison is a good role model, I’m coming to your house with Child Protective Services.
As usual, more chaos coming from the Oakland Raiders: PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that they’ve cut sixth-round draft pick Stryker Sulakbefore even signing him to a contract, which a league source says he’s “never seen happen before.” Meanwhile, Raiders blog JUST BLOG BABY thinks that PFT is making a big deal out of nothing.
I didn’t mention the Celebrity Softball game that was part of the MLB All-Star festivities. I’ll just show you the final out, where Ashanti managed to make the type of play to end the game that makes coed softball a nightmare for most guys. She should consider herself lucky that Bob Knight didn’t piledrive her at first:
David Beckham swears that his spat with Landon Donovanis a thing of the past as Golden Balls returns to practice with the Los Angeles Galaxy. In related news, Landon Donovan was found dead in his Home Depot Center dressing room, with a six-inch stilleto heel in his eyeball as Victoria Beckham was seen leaving.
The Chicago Blackhawks want to thank GM Dale Tallon for putting together a team that got to the Western Conference finals this season - by giving him a severance check and making sure the door doesn’t hit his butt on the way out the door. Reports says that assistant GM Stan Bowman will replace him.
If anyone is interested in an 34-year-old quarterback who was never really that great in his prime, please call Brian Griese - he’s available after being cut by the Bucs.
Former MLBer Billy Koch has been arrested after a 2 a.m. altercation with his next-door neighbor. The ironic part? The neighbor had grabbed a baseball bat in an unsuccessful attempt to defend himself.
In the relatively short history of sports blogs, there have been several things that have served to greatly expand their visibility above and beyond the niche of the young, internet-savvy set. These things have often had one thing in common - ESPN. From Erin Andrews‘ sideline antics to Scott Van Pelt’s singles bar shenanigans to “You’re With Me, Leather,” sports blogs shone a much-needed, often hilarious spotlight on the actions and direction of the media behemoth and its employees.
Take, for example, the disparate treatment of ESPN mainstays Chris Berman and Scott Van Pelt. The sports blogosphere is as united in their distate for Berman’s tired schtick as they are united in their appreciation for Van Pelt’s self-deprecating everyman personality. These two extremes have never been more evident than they were in two separate stories today. Let’s discuss.
That sound you heard in New York last night were league officials and ABC executives quietly weeping into their gin and tonics while watching Game 1 of the NBA Finals. Because what they were watching was the one thing they didn’t need: a Los Angeles Lakers blowout. For the casual fan, the 100-75 drubbing of the Orlando Magic just confirmed what they already knew, that this series is a letdown after the hype of Kobe Bryant vs. LeBron James, and the Lakers are going to crush the upstart Magic.
Sure, it was close…for a little over a quarter. The Magic did have a five-point lead early in the second quarter, and then the roof collapsed. This is what happens when a team that relies on three-point shooting has a sub-par shooting game (going 8-for-23 from beyond the arc). Without having to fear the Magic from the outside, the Lakers could double and triple-team Dwight Howard, a form of kryptonite that even Superman couldn’t overcome, going 1-for-6 and scoring just 12 points.
So while Howard struggled, Kobe was superb, scoring 40 points while coming close to a triple-double. He had 12 points in the second quarter as the Lakers established their dominance, and was able to create opportunities for Pau Gasol and the rest of his supporting cast. And with Phil Jackson being 43-0 in series where his team wins the opening game, Magic coach Stan Van Gundy has to be sweating through his Men’s Wearhouse coat.
But if the Magic need any inspiration, they only need to look to the Stanley Cup (assuming they get Versus in central Florida). Facing a 2-0 deficit against the defending champion Detroit Red Wings, the Pittsburgh Penguins have rallied to tie the series after a 4-2 win in Game 4. Which is especially impressive since they managed to turn an early lead into a 2-1 hole in the second period, which could have easily crippled a lesser team.
And in what can only be seen as a good sign for the Penguins, Sidney Crosby had his first goal of the series, while Evgeni Malkin added a goal and an assist. So now we basically have a best-of-three series starting tomorrow night in Detroit. While the Red Wings are still probably going to win the series, at least the Penguins have made it interesting.
Finally, let’s tip our hat to Randy Johnson, who became the first pitcher since Tom Seaver in 1985 to get his 300th victory in his first attempt thanks to the Giants’ 5-1 victory over the Nationals. Thank you for sparing us of the daily update on the ESPN crawl and live game updates ruining our PBA Tour broadcasts on Wednesday nights on ESPN2. The Giants are planning a pregame celebration before their next home game to congratulate Johnson on his 300 career wins - all four of them with San Francisco.
The French Open women’s singles final is set, with Dinara Safina and Svetlana Kuznetsova taking each other on in an all-Russian final. In terms of eye candy, this isn’t exactly the Maria Sharapova vs. Ana Ivanovic Australian Open final from last year.
Calvin Borel isn’t just confident that he’s going to win the Belmont Stakes on Mine That Bird to win the jockey Triple Crown, he’s guaranteeing it. (At least that’s what we think he said with molasses-thick drawl.) If he does pull this off, does this mean he gets put out to stud?
LeBron, here’s your slap on the wrist: the NBA fines King James $25,000 for bailing on the post-game press conference after the Cavs’ Game 6 loss to the Magic in the Eastern Conference finals. Plus, you made David Stern cry. How does that feel, LeBron.
You want Dontrelle Willis to succeed in his comeback with the Tigers, but then something like this happens: in 2-1/3 innings against the Red Sox yesterday, Willis gave up five runs without allowing a hit, walking five and hitting a batter.
Just when you thought that it couldn’t get worse for the New York Mets than getting swept by the Pirates, it also turns out that Jose Reyeshas a torn hamstring.
John Raines, a substitute teacher and athletic trainer at Sussex Central High in Delaware, has been arrested and charged with “inappropriately touching a student-athlete while treating her injury and threatening to prevent her from playing her sport when she tried to stop his advances.” Which is bad enough, but even worse when considering he’s the second faculty member arrested on sex crimes in the past two days and the third within a year.
Buffalo Bills owner Ralph Wilson has selected ESPN’s Chris Berman to introduce him before his induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, and PRO FOOTBALL TALK wonders if that’s such a great idea. (Seriously, was Jim Kelly busy?)
Former Tulsa football player Neal Sweeney apparently got into a business dispute with the wrong person, as it ended up with him being shot dead at his fuel sales company. Police have arrested the person they believe is the triggerman, and hope this leads to further breaks in the case.
Maurice Neal, a linebacker for the Utah Utes, has been arrested in connection with a bar fight where he took out two men. Shouldn’t Utah be the last place that a bar fight should be happening?
If you’d rather catch up on your laundry and clean out the cat box than see Terrell Owens primping in the ladies room, listen to Kevin Costner sing for an hour, rub elbows with the owner of the L.A. Clippers, and hear about Chris Berman flying on private planes, I have great news.
(Apparently this gentleman (left) caught up on his laundry before last weekend)
Chris Berman presided over the festivities, which meant they kept a half-dozen dry, pressed Hawaiian shirts under the bar for quick changes every quarter hour.
Markazi notes that during the party, Berman told partygoers that he “has been flying on private planes for the past five years.”
The folks who run the Australian Open — who happen to go by the ultra-creative handle Tennis Australia — have always known that tennis alone is not enough to keep the people entertained. This is why they’ve done a lot of work in recent years to make the event not just a tennis tournament, but an experience. Go see Roger Federer emasculate some teenage Kiwi during the day, and then catch a burlesque show at night.
Sounds like a fantastic mix, doesn’t it? Well it seems that not everybody down under agrees with our moral sensibilities here at SbB, especially when it comes to one show in particular. The show Absinthe opened at the Spiegeltent on Monday night, and apparently it offended some of those in the attendance. I guess they don’t find racial slurs and simulated masturbation to be family entertainment, the fascists.
Have you voted yet? Why haven’t you voted yet? Why do you hate democracy so much? You know who loves democracy and elections? Chris Berman. That’s why we had Barack “And A Hard Place” Obama and John “Raising” McCain being interviewed by The Swami at halftime of Monday Night Football, answering the hard-hitting questions on topics such as health care, specifically their stance on importing medicine from Canada.
Actually, they didn’t give their stance on “222s,” although that would have been more enlightening than what we got out of each candidate. I saw Bob Costas interview President George W. Bush during the Olympics, and Chris Berman is no Bob Costas.
Here’s what each candidate would change about sports: McCain would get tough on steroids, while Obama would put a playoff in place for college football. That McCain chose a topic six months past relevancy while Obama went for the classic suck-up that all sports fans care about shows why the polls stand where they do.
Judge for yourself. First, Sen. Obama:
…and Sen. McCain:
And, oh yeah, there was a football game last night! And to draw a Presidential Election analogy, the Redskins played Walter Mondale to the Steelers’ Ronald Reagan (anyone under 30 should look it up on Wikipedia), as Pittsburgh rolled to a 23-6 victory. The only downside for Pittsburgh? Ben Roethlisberger left at halftime with a bum shoulder.
How come Pittsburgh has someone like Byron Leftwich as their back-up QB, but the Cowboys’ choices post-Tony Romo resemble the Republican ticket: ancient (Brad Johnson) and ineptly overmatched (Brooks Bollinger)?
Here’s what else happened last night for you to read before you get out and vote because it’s your civic duty as Americans and your fathers died for this right and if you don’t vote you are spitting in the graves of dead soldiers from World War I and the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt and Abraham Lincoln will haunt you until your death (maybe I’m being a bit hyperbolic, but you really should vote):
Break out the hair gel and popped collars, and get ready to cover your junk: the CLEVELAND PLAIN DEALER says the Brady Quinn era for the Browns will officially begin on Thursday, as the strapping young man gets the nod ahead of Derek “I Suck” Anderson for Cleveland’s game against Denver.
UFC middleweight Chris Leben might want to consider changing his nickname from “The Crippler” to “The Juicer” after MMA JUNKIE reports that he has been suspended for nine months after testing positive for steroids. John McCain would put Leben over his knee and give him a firm paddling if he’s elected President.
The BOSTON GLOBE brings news that Theo Epstein has signed a new contract with the Red Sox to stay on as GM. Epstein held out until the team promised to pick up all gorilla suit-related dry cleaning bills.
The LAS VEGAS SUN says the sun is setting on Greg Maddux, as the future Hall of Famer is finally set to call it a career after 23 seasons and 367 wins.
Meanwhile, the DALLAS MORNING NEWS has news that Greg’s brother Mike Maddux has been named pitching coach for the Texas Rangers, as he can teach them everything he learned about being a throughly mediocre-to-average pitcher (which would be a drastic improvement for the Rangers).
The AP notes that Ken Mink, the 73-year-old college basketball player at Roane State Community College, scored two points last night in his team’s 93-42 win over the King’s College JV team. Maybe John McCain will have something to look forward to post-election after all…
The BUDAPEST TIMES reports that former Hungarian Olympic athlete Krisztián Tölgyesi has been arrested after numerous explosive devices were found in his car. John McCain has no opinion on this, as long as they weren’t fueled by steroids.
Iowa can’t seem to stop getting their football players arrested, as the CEDAR RAPIDS GAZETTE has word that Hawkeyes DB Harold Dalton has pleaded guilty to three booze-related charges after a fight at a bar on Sunday. That’s three arrests this season for Iowa players, if you’re keeping track.
With this wonderful country of ours set to choose its next President tomorrow, as you’d expect, there are a lot of political rallies going on from sea to shining sea. John McCain appeared on Saturday Night Live this weekend in a last ditch effort to sway some votes amongst the younger crowd, and tonight both candidates will appear on Monday Night Football, subjecting themselves to Chris Berman for a chance at the Presidency (in case you weren’t already aware you have to sell your soul to win an election).
Still, it’s not just the candidates who are out there working for votes. In College Station a group of students at Texas A&M called the Young Conservatives of Texas organized a little get together on Friday. Basically the entire thing was nothing but a way to slam Barack Obama and other Democrats instead of, you know, telling people why they should vote for McCain. Part of the festivities included throwing eggs at a picture of Obama, but one A&M student athlete wouldn’t have any of it.
Over the last few months sports and politics have crossed paths many times as Barack Obama and John McCain continue to do everything humanly possible to get votes, and realize that sporting events are a great way to reach the male demographic. That’s why Obama was in Pennsylvania a few weeks ago saying he was rooting for the Phillies, and that’s why John McCain and Sarah Palin have been dropping pucks at hockey games.
Well just because the election is this Tuesday, that doesn’t mean either candidate is ready to sit back and let the votes fall where they may. No, they realize they only have one more shot to get to us sports fans, and they’re going to take it. Which is why both Presidential hopefuls will be showing up on Monday Night Football this, you guessed it, Monday night.
