Alyssa Milano’s MLB Exes Finally Find Success?

• Has the Curse of Alyssa Milano finally been lifted from MLB pitchers?

Curse of Alyssa Milano

• What better way to kick off the college football season than by trading really bad rival-bashing songs back and forth?

• Green Bay Packers LB Nick Barnett shares his shopping habits - such as getting his wife a Thumper.

Tony Kornheiser talks about all the quivering he did during his “Monday Night Football” days.

• Chelsea FC will have to wait awhile before signing any new players.

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Has Curse Of Alyssa Milano Finally Been Broken?

By all appearances, Brad Penny is a new man. As Richard mentioned in this morning’s Speed Read, Penny’s San Francisco Giants’ debut was nothing short of awesome, as he tossed eight scoreless innings in a 4-0 win over the Phillies on Wednesday. This after throwing a grand total of one shutout inning for the Red Sox over the previous five months.

Curse of Alyssa Milano

Somewhere in a Beverly Hills mansion, surrounded by dishes of caviar and flying monkeys, Alyssa Milano violently curses the fates. Penny, who dated the fetching actress for a brief period in 2005, seems to be the latest of her former boyfriends to have beaten the terrible Curse of Alyssa Milano. Could it be that her bony grip on America’s Major League pitching has finally been broken for good? Consider the evidence:

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Alyssa Milano Dishes On Bad Sex With Pitchers

Well, now Giants fans know who to blame for Barry Zito’s career implosion. According to THE NATIONAL ENQUIRER, Alyssa Milano’s new tell all, “Safe-at-Home”, drops all the details from her past flings with star pitchers Carl Pavano, Zito and Brad Penny, even dropping the fact that Penny made her wear his jersey to bed.

alyssa milano

(Two thirds of the Milano bad luck club, as compiled by SI.com)

It’s the latest step in a trave-sham-ockery of a career for Milano, who’s gone from classic crap TV (Who’s the Boss?) to modern crap TV (Charmed) to baseball clothing. It’s only too appropriate that the outlet to break the story has such high standards of integrity that it thinks Barry Zito’s first name is Brad. At each step of the way, she’s gone to lengths to have very public relationships with high profile pitchers, each of which has immediately gone into the tank after they broke up with Milano.

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Speed Read: Celtics Fall Again; May Not Top East

Remember a couple of weeks ago when the Celtics were going to challenge the ‘96 Bulls for the best record ever? Yeah, you can pretty much put that possibility to rest. The C’s continued their strange descent on Tuesday night, dropping a game to the lowly Bobcats, 114-106 in overtime. Boston has lost five out of seven games following a 27-2 start, and now faces the real possibility of not winding up with the best record in the East at the end of the season. Orlando is 27-8 after beating Washington last night, and the idle Cavs sit at 27-6.

Bobcats Celtics

There was a huge bowl game last night too. I mean, all the best games happen after January 1st, right? Oh, it was just the GMAC Bowl. And what better company to be bringing us a bowl game this year?  It actually wasn’t a terrible matchup, as both Tulsa and Ball State took undefeated records deep into the season before faltering late. In wet, sloppy conditions in Mobile, the Golden Hurricane rocked the Cardinals 45-13. BSU was once ranked 12th, but will probably not end the season in the rankings. It’s a shame former Cards coach Brady Hoke, who left for San Diego State, couldn’t have stuck around for this one since he needs some experience in losing games by that margin for his new job.

In your New Yankees/Old Yankees news, Mark Teixeira was introduced in a press conference yesterday, Andy Pettite rejected the Yanks’ one-year, $10 million offer, and Jason Giambi is on the cusp of signing a one-year deal with the A’s.

Mark Teixeira

(ugh)

See this guy?:

Corky Simpson

His name is Corky Simpson, and he might be the only member of the Baseball Writers Association who didn’t vote for Rickey Henderson to be in the Hall of Fame. Henderson, who is among the all-time leaders in a number of categories and considered by many to be one of the 10 greatest players ever, is up for election for the first time this year. HOME RUN DERBY has tracked down the ballots of 31 writers so far, and all but Simpson’s contain Henderson’s name. And it’s not like Simpson was being stingy with his votes. He voted for eight players, including Tommy John, Tim Raines (the poor man’s Henderson), and — get this – Matt Williams! HOME RUN DERBY further analyzes Simpson’s insanity.

Today’s links are brought to you by Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp:

• The whole dating hockey players thing has worked out well for Elisha Cuthbert and Hilary Duff, so Carrie Underwood has apparently jumped on that train as well. REALITY TV MAGAZINE reports that Underwood is dating Ottawa’s Mike Fisher, as she was seen watching the game from a suite with Fisher’s parents this past weekend.

Carrie Underwood

• Somebody dressed as a security guard took a hockey stick from a teenage fan that was given to the kid by Detroit’s Henrik Zetterberg during the New Year’s Day game at Wrigley Field. The “guard” said that the stick would be available to be picked up at the customer relations booth. There was no stick at customer relations. The kid is crushed, and nobody knows who the guy is that took the stick nor where the stick went. The CHICAGO TRIBUNE’s Jon Yates has the odd story.

• Reminding us that there’s nothing more pressing going on in the world than the state of postseason college football, Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff is considering launching an investigation into the BCS and possibly bringing antitrust charges, according to the DESERET NEWS.

• Speaking of the Utes, their fans are currently spamming AP writers such as the RALEIGH NEWS & OBSERVER’s J.P. Giglio, who says he’s received more than 100 emails urging him to put Utah #1 on his final poll ballot.

• Your strange video of the day comes courtesy of the NHL, where Ottawa’s Jarko Ruutu thought it was a good idea to bite Buffalo’s Andrew Peters on the hand.

The best part? Peters is the one who got a penalty.

• In a time when the NCAA Division I ranks continue to swell, the University of New Orleans is considering eliminating its athletic program altogether, says the NEW ORLEANS TIMES-PICAYUNE. The school, which is a part of the LSU system, is a member of the Sun Belt Conference but doesn’t have a football team.

•  A San Francisco couple with too much time on their hands are in the process of suing the 49ers for patting them down before entering Candlestick Park, saying that it’s an invasion of privacy. The SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE has the arguments from both sides.

• The Orioles have signed 34-year-old Japanese pitcher Koji Uehara, according to the BALTIMORE SUN. I guess the O’s just feel left out of the Japanese pitcher phenomenon.

• In a stroke of genius roster management that would make Isiah Thomas proud, Tottenham Hotspur sold striker Jermain Defoe to Portsmouth last January for £9.0 million, and now have decided they want him back. The price? £15 million. Well played, Spurs.

• Finally, I have to include this story about the Indians signing Carl Pavano. Is it huge news? No. It’s just an excuse to run a link to an article penned by the incomparably-named Chris Assenheimer of the MEDINA COUNTY GAZETTE.

Who will end up with the best record in the NBA this year?

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Blog-O-Rama: Who Cares if the Cold War’s Over?

  • COED keeps the Cold War alive with pom-poms, spandex and flexible females with their Cold War Cheerleader Challenge.

    Cheerleader Cold War

  • Is that a “W” next to Carl Pavano’s name in the box score? MY PINSTRIPES thinks that it was all a dream.
  • Former New Jersey Nets forward Jayson Williams may or may not have shot his limo driver but he definitely butchered his kids’ names - Whizdom and Tryumph. HOLLYWIRE has more examples of what happens when celebrities are given free range to name their children.
  • WIRED takes a look at the Olympic Village that didn’t cost $40 billion, just 300,000 Lego blocks. Photo after the jump. Read more…

Hideki Irabu Chugs 20 Beers, Roughs Up Barkeep

Apparently, there are worse things than being part of the 2008 Yankees. Like, say, being a former Yankee, affectionately referred to by then-owner George Steinbrenner as a “fat, p***y toad”, who gets arrested for assaulting a bartender.

Hideki Irabu, Fat Toad

Hideki Irabu, who pitched in New York for six seasons, was arrested yesterday in Osaka, Japan, for fighting like a girl at a local watering hole.

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SbB Live Blog: Boston Red Sox vs. NY Yankees

As Tax Day approaches, the entire AL East has clumped up tighter than Trevor Immelman’s cheeks as the Masters closed Sunday. (Good Lord; I thought he would explode or collapse or spontaneously combust as he walked up 18.) The Red Sox and Yankees share identical records as tonight’s tilt kicks off.

David Ortiz jersey found at Yankee Stadium

(Where’s the rest of him? WHERE?!?)

It’s too early in the year to worry about the Orioles in “first”; it’s just a waiting game until the Yanks and Sawx reclaim their rightful place in the American League and leave our hopes for the Rays out in the sun a bit too long. (Well, not all of them.)

Therefore, the fans from Boston and the American League districts of New York can concentrate on the most important part of the rivalry tonight: the hate. Let it flow, unencumbered by concerns about playoff spots or weekend bragging rights. It’s clobberin’ time!
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Blog-O-Rama: Hal Steinbrenner Is On The Prowl

• The LOHUD YANKEES BLOG plays cupid, as new Yankee co-boss Hal Steinbrenner is looking for love.

Hal Steinbrenner Cupid

• ODENIZED hears Jason Kidd plead his case during Thursday’s Mavs-Spurs game: “I tipped it off his face, I swear.”

• WAS WATCHING has a new job for Carl Pavano - mascot for the Yankees’ Double-A farm team.

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Carl Pavano Gets Sideline Pass WIth Yankees And At Rutgers Football Game

IF ANYONE KNOWS ABOUT SIDELINE PASSES, IT’S PAVANO: The BERGEN RECORD (via WAS WATCHING) informs us that Carl Pavano is still alive and not well, as he apparently attended last week’s Rutgers-South Florida game.

Carl Pavano

Excerpt: “Rutgers alum Shaun O’Hara was scheduled to bring a chunk of his Giants team down the New Jersey Turnpike with him, with defensive end Michael Strahan, receiver Plaxico Burress and running backs Brandon Jacobs, Reuben Droughns and Derrick Ward all taking spots on the sideline along their center. Mets third baseman David Wright was spotted, and Yankee pitcher Carl Pavano had requested a sideline pass, too.“Requested? C’mon, for someone so expert at sideline passes, Pavano had to be parked in perfect view of the field - right in front of the handicapped section.