That “Moneyball” Movie Is Back On, Apparently

If you’re anything like us, you were probably devastated to learn that the Moneyball movie had lost its funding at the last second, mainly because the idea of Brad Pitt as a general manager who uses Bloomin’ Onions to seduce waitresses is spectacularly hilarious. Luckily, we have good news.

Bloomin Onion
(A little yonic, don’t you think? No? Maybe we’re just perverts.)

As FILMDRUNK reports, the movie’s back in the works, albeit with some changes. For example, instead of being about baseball, it’s about the financial aspects of midget wrestling instead. Okay, no it isn’t. But it should be.

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Well-Liked Iowa HS Football Coach Shot To Death

Ed Thomas, a popular Iowa high school football coach who saw many of his players make it to the NFL, was shot & killed in the school’s weight room this morning.

Ed Thomas Parkersburg HS football coach

• Road tripping, Wisconsin style: Driving home drunk in a golf cart.

• Break out the blindfolds - Oregon’s new football uniforms are here.

Terrell Owens gets cursed out by teammate Joanna Krupa for getting themselves eliminated on ABC’s “Superstars”.

• No “Moneyball” movie means no sex scenes between Billy Beane & an Outback Steakhouse waitress.

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Moneyball Movie Had A Sex Scene… With A Lady

Movie fans were no doubt grief-stricken at the news over the weekend that Sony Pictures axed Money Pit Moneyball, the Billy Beane biopic that, for some reason, was to star Brad Pitt. Maybe it was because they figured there’s no way a movie about sports stats would draw people to the theaters. Maybe it was because they figured there was absolutely no reason for it to cost $50 million to shoot since it’s a movie about statistics. Maybe they’re not big Oakland fans.

Moneyball
(So wait, the ball’s not actually made of money? Then the title makes no sense.)

So now we’re all missing out on what what was sure to be one of the finest cinematic treasures in baseball movie history, the best baseball movie since, like, The Sandlot 2. Lucky for all of us, the script (or at least one of the earlier drafts, anyway) is available online for your perusal (PDF, pops to new window). Quick hint: it gets good when they go to Outback.

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Even Red Sox Now In Favor Of MLB Salary Cap?

With steroids now dominating the headlines in baseball again, the sport needs a new public relations makeover. Could a salary cap be just the gesture the sport needs to get back in the good graces of the American people? The idea has been knocked around for years, but now even big market teams like the Red Sox are throwing support toward the idea.

yankees money hat

(No, no, not that kind of salary cap)

Of course, the Sox are only interested these days because of the new stadium down in New York, which is going to put massive amounts of cash in the pockets of the Steinbrenners — and allow them to spend even more on salaries. It’s not insane, even, to think that the Yanks would run their payroll up to $300 million or more in the next few seasons.

So, is there finally hope for the Royals?

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Speed Read - NYT: Urine Links Bonds To Steroids

Barry Bonds may be getting his own Southwest Airlines “wanna get away?” commercial in the near future. The NEW YORK TIMES reported late last night that federal authorities have urine samples believed to belong to Bonds that have tested positive for anabolic steroids, and not just the “cream” and “clear” that Bonds has already admitted to taking.

Barry Bonds

(This wood shack in Manitoba is where you can find Barry for the next six months)

The news came as authorities raided the house of trainer Greg Anderson’s mother-in-law in an effort to put pressure on Anderson to testify against Bonds, which he has thus far refused to do. Anderson has been in prison for more than a year for contempt of court. Much more on this to come today, I’m sure.

The Internet was abuzz when Mickey Rourke called out Chris Jericho on the red carpet at the SAG Awards the other night and said he would participate in April’s Wrestlemania, presumably as his Randy “The Ram” Robinson character from The Wrestler. Well, that excitement lasted all of three days.

Rourke has released a statement saying that he won’t be getting into the ring after all. Perhaps Rourke decided that he wouldn’t stand a chance unless maybe he could get the Ultimate Warrior out of retirement.

Mickey Rourke Wrestler

The last thing anyone wants to be these days is the #1 team in college basketball. For the third straight week, the top-ranked team went down. This time, it was last week’s #1 Wake Forest taking down Duke, which rallied from a 13-point deficit in the 2nd half but forgot to play defense on the last play of the game. James Johnson’s virtually uncontested layin with 0.8 on the clock gave the Demon Deacons a 70-68 win. Here’s the end of the game. If you want to see the last play, skip to about the 3:50 mark:

Elsewhere, #6 North Carolina got a three-pointer at the buzzer from Ty Lawson to beat Florida State, while #21 Villanova handed #3 Pitt its second loss of the year in the last college game ever at the Spectrum in Philly.

• SI.COM isn’t bowing to the liberal media, as they’ve brought conservative pundit (and vaguely Palin-esque) S.E. CUPP (yeah, that’s her name) on board as a columnist. Her first subject? Bull-riding, of course. THE BIG LEAD has more.

• Everybody thinks they can run an MLB team. Now, 2K Sports is giving you the chance to prove it. Billy Beane is the pitchman for MLB Front Office Manager, which lets you run a franchise as a GM and see if you can screw up as badly as Steve Phillips. There are some other titles out there along these lines (I like Baseball Mogul), but this still looks like it could be pretty cool for all the seamheads out there.  CNET’s GEEK GESTALT blog has a story on the launch.

• DEADSPIN has a photo of columnist Jason Whitlock with a couple of strippers:

Jason Whitlock strippers

•  The OKLAHOMAN says that Oklahoma City sports anchor and former ABC sideline reporter Dean Blevins fell and hit his head on some ice on Monday, causing him to miss the Oklahoma-Oklahoma State game. He says he actually was laid out unconscious for at least 45 minutes in broad daylight before a neighbor noticed. Yikes.

• The ORLANDO SENTINEL says that Bobby Bowden has agreed to a one-year contract to remain at Florida State, but there appears to be no commitment beyond that.

• Iowa radio broadcaster Ed Podolak, who resigned after photos of him enjoying himself a little too much in Tampa before the Outback Bowl hit the web, is seeking “professional treatment,” according to THE WIZ OF ODDS. If everyone who’d ever had pictures taken of them drunkenly hitting on a questionable girl sought treatment, half of America would be in rehab.

Ed Podolak

Stephon Marbury still isn’t playing, but the NEW YORK POST reports that he’s still in business. The store that sold his cheap Starbury sneakers closed, but now he has an arrangement with Amazon to sell the shoes online.

Jason Caffey, who might have the worst illegitimate-children-to-points-per-game ratio in NBA history, now has a warrant out for his arrest for failing to pay more than $200,000 in child support, says the AP.

• PRO FOOTBALL TALK reports that Jon Gruden finally spoke out after getting thrown under a entire fleet of buses over the last two weeks by his former players. He called himself “Chucky,” and didn’t outright deny interest in the Notre Dame job.  He probably would’ve been better off just staying disappeared.

With the news that Barry Bonds’ urine tested positive for steroids, will he ever admit to being a user?

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Billy Beane Bored with Baseball, Switches Sports?

Billy Beane, Oakland Athletics general manager and winner of… let’s check… zero World Series rings since taking over in 1997, has been rumored to be leaving the post for the last few months in search of greener pastures. Those pastures, however, are likely to still have leftover football markings or deflated pitching mounds on them.

Billy Beane soccer

That’s because it’s believed Beane wants to spend more time with the San Jose Earthquakes, the MLS team also owned by the owners of the A’s, and might leave baseball entirely for soccer. The ROCKY MOUNTAIN NEWS noted this week that Beane’s first lieutenant has been turning down all GM interviews, perhaps believing he has the A’s post when it opens up.
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