Aussies Looking To Send Booze Ads Down Under?

It’s a question for the ages, and the Australian government thinks that it may have the answer. Should all alcohol advertising and sponsorships be banned from sporting events? The stadium is, after all, where you take your kids for that special bonding experience that can only occur while watching large men who make a hundred times your salary. Should the kids also be subjected to signage that demands they drink Bud Light? Some in the government down under say no.

A preventative health task force organized by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd has called for not only a ban of alcohol-related advertising & sponsorships in stadiums, but also on the Internet and in youth magazines. No more XXXX beer ads? The wine & spirit companies and the owners of teams in Cricket Australia, the AFL, National Rugby League and Australian Rugby Union are, as you may imagine, not taking this well. In fact, AFL boss Andrew Demetriou says that such a ban could kill his league. I bow to your greatness, oh tasty booze. I had no idea you wielded such power.

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“Australian Rules” Do Not Include Whipping It Out

Remember a few years ago when Outback Steakhouse, that “Australian”-themed restaurant advertised itself with the slogan, “No Rules, Just Right”? Well, they’re a bunch of damn liars. Not only is the Bloomin’ Onion most certainly not Australian, but both the restaurant and Australia itself have rules. Lots of them.

Australian Rules Cockball
(Roight ‘ere, we’ve got an Austrahlian trouser poython! Croikey! ‘E’s a orn’ry one!”)

One particularly important rule would be the one against taking out your hog on live television. That’s really, spectacularly frowned upon, even in Australia. Tim Orchard, seen above exploring his body,was apparently in the mood to test said rule, and according to Australia’s ABC NEWS, it didn’t exactly go well at allRead more…

Speed Read: Gruden Notre Dame Rumors Persist

So where does a 45-year-old guy with 11 years of NFL head coaching experience and a Super Bowl title under his belt want to go next? Apparently, to a team that went 7-6 and won the mighty Hawaii Bowl this year. At least that’s what COLLEGE FOOTBALL TALK has been saying, citing Jon Gruden’s ties to South Bend and rumors that he was up for the job when it was previously open.

Jon Gruden Notre Dame

In that post, CFT basically dares Notre Dame to come out and deny the rumors before they get off the ground. Irish football media relations guy Brian Hardin did just that, and with force:

“It’s ridiculous that this rumor has even gained the traction it has over the past few days. I hesitate to respond to it at all because by dignifying this ‘report,’ I set myself up to be forced to set the record straight on future rumors. But it’s obvious that some people out there are trying to sabotage our recruiting efforts and it’s unfortunate that their agenda has been published and reproduced in recent days.” 

So, Gruden’s name isn’t coming up because it makes sense, but because of some sort of conspiracy to interfere with Notre Dame’s recruiting efforts? Hardin made this statement to BLUE AND GOLD ILLUSTRATED, which then posted a story discussing some of the other unsubstantiated rumors surrounding the program (Lou Holtz? Really?).

For now, Charlie Weis is still the head coach, though Gruden probably has healthier knees. Gruden has long been respected as a coach, but his results have been wildly inconsistent. He went 12-4 and won the Super Bowl in his first year with the Bucs, but is just 45-51 (and 0-2 in the playoffs) in six seasons since.

Getting back to that whole inauguration business just one more time, the SEATTLE TIMES has an article this morning about what the inauguration means to the Pac-10’s black basketball coaches. And while I’m sure it has some meaning to the likes of Lorenzo Romar and Ernie Kent, I think it might be hard to top Oregon State coach Craig Robinson, who hung out with the new president all day, since he’s his brother-in-law.

Craig Robinson

(”Do I really look like a personal assistant?”)

Unfortunately, NBC’s Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw didn’t get the memo about who Robinson is, because they first mistakenly identified him as Obama’s personal assistant, then erroneously reported that the orange and black scarf he was wearing in the parade viewing box represented his alma mater, Princeton, and not his current school. The OREGONIAN’s John Canzano was not amused.

It appears as if Kobe Bryant is not going to miss any time after dislocating the ring finger on his right hand in Monday night’s game with the Cavs. Bryant said it was the most pain he’d ever played with on a basketball court. As someone who plays his fair share of hoops, I think it’s the injury I fear most. I’m wincing and doubling over as I type this.

Kobe Bryant

(You sure it’s your finger that’s hurting, Kobe?)

I have to get my mind off that. Let’s get to some links:

• Russian figure skater Ekaterina Rubleva had a bit of a problem with her top falling down at the European Championships (I’m not using the phrase “wardrobe malfunction). Unfortunately, it didn’t impress the judges all that much as she and her partner are only in 12th place in the ice dancing competition. The full NSFW picture is available here.

Russian figure skater loses her top

• The CHICAGO TRIBUNE reports that a Blackhawks fan won $1 million last night when Martin Havlat scored at exactly the 10-minute mark of the 2nd period. The Hawks had to score at that exact moment in order for the prize to be awarded. It was the only goal Chicago scored in a 4-1 loss to Minnesota.

• Panthers linebacker Jon Beason may have been looking past that playoff game against the Cardinals, especially when he’s saying things on his personal blog like:

We want another shot at the Giants to prove we can beat them. But it would be great to play the NFC Championship Game at home. It’s the biggest game you can have at your place because the Super Bowl is at a neutral site, and we’re playing really well at home this season.”

• The NY DAILY NEWS says that Knicks rookie Danilo Gallinari isn’t all that happy that the team plays songs like “That’s Amore” when he scores, and that the PA announcer uses a thick, fake Italian accent when saying his name. Whattsa matta Danilo? Let’s a go havva some zeppoles!

• You can probably cross Kansas City off of Anquan Boldin’s wishlist if Cardinals offensive coordinator Todd Haley ends up as the coach of the Chiefs, as is cited as a possibilty by REVENGE OF THE BIRDS.

• An Aussie Rules football player is recovering from being stung by a stingray, says Australia’s HERALD SUN. The guy suffered the injury during a personal training session. Which, for some reason, was being held on a beach frequented by stingrays.

• Here’s a shocker: the Dallas Cowboys weren’t particularly disciplined this year. The DALLAS MORNING NEWS says that players held up the team’s charter flight on five of eight road trips this year, and were only fined $100 each for doing so. The same transgressions under Bill Parcells would’ve cost $5,000, but Jerry Jones wouldn’t let Wade Phillips raise the fine to encourage on-time departure.

• NEWSDAY reports that Islanders goalie Rick DiPietro will miss the rest of the season with a knee injury. He’s had a myriad of injury problems as of late and doctors aren’t entirely sure that he’ll ever be 100% again. Good thing he only has 12 years left on his ridiculous contract.

• So, a guy who ran his team into the ground in the regular season is being replaced in the Pro Bowl by a guy who waited until a home playoff game to destroy his team. Meanwhile, the top-rated passer in the AFC is still not going to Hawaii. HATER NATION is as incredulous as I am.

• AWFUL ANNOUNCING brings word that Miller High Life has bought one second of advertising time for the Super Bowl to run a spot featuring that beer delivery guy. Only one of the following ads will air during the game:

Who should be coaching Notre Dame next season?

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Allison Stokke Pics; Cheerleader Likes ‘Em Large

We’re always Stokke‘d to uncover new photos of the amazing Allison.

Allison Stokke Cal

• Does a former Patriots cheerleader have a fetish for the fatties?

• The snide slapshots delivered by local scribes almost has us paying attention to the NHL playoffs.

Andruw Jones is really growing into a heavy hitter - literally.

• An Australian rules football player gets a seven-week suspension for slugging an opponent.

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Aussie Footballer Suspended After In-Game Punch

We have fond memories of watching Australian Rules Football during the early days of ESPN, checking out the afterschool action between teams with names like Footscray and Essendon. And it can be generally agreed that those blokes are a tough lot - running, passing, tackling, and all without the benefit of pads & helmets.

However, one Aussie footy player found out that such a violent game does have its limits of brute force.

Barry Hall punch Australian Football

THE MELBOURNE HERALD-SUN reports that Barry Hall has been suspended for seven weeks for placing a mid-game punch into an opponent’s puss.

(Video after the jump.)

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Blog-O-Rama: Ivan Calderon Has A Worthless Card

JOE SPORTS FAN calls up their Worthless Card Collection once again. Next at the plate: Ivan Calderon.

Ivan Calderon

THE 700 LEVEL cashes in news that Ryan Howard won his arbitration case.

100% INJURY RATE learned something today, as the Australian Football League has released an instructional video telling its players how to treat women.

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