Chaos Reigns As Guy Wins Ladies Poker Tourney

Here we have one Abraham Kortotki, 65, who as you can plainly see is not a woman. (Also not a woman). After being eliminated from a regular poker tournament in Atlantic City, he decided, for whatever reason, to enter a ladies-only tourney. I see no way anything could go wrong with that plan.

Abraham Kortotki

(Kortotki will collect his winnings as soon as he passes a gender test)

He won. Now the chicks are pissed off, and would like to scratch his eyes out among other things. Especially peeved is the second-place finisher, who was hoping to use the prize money to help defer the cost of a mastectomy. Yep, just another day in Jersey.

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Majerus Hates Conference Tourneys & His Team

Remember Rick Majerus — the portly fellow who made a name for himself first for coaching Utah to a bunch of NCAA appearances and then later for talking about “oh-fense” on ESPN? Well, apparently he’s coaching again, and not exactly doing wonders for his Saint Louis team’s confidence as they went into their first-round matchup with Xavier in the Atlantic 10 tournament.

Rick Majerus is Debbie Downer

Seems that Rick thinks all these conference tournaments are stupid (something a lot of fans — and especially ESPN — might disagree with). But Majerus didn’t stop there. No, he basically acknowledged that his team didn’t have any chance of winning the tournament, and said it would be “phony” if it did. Way to pump up your guys, coach.

Fortunately, the Billikens lived up to their coach’s expectations.

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Delaware To Legalize Sports Betting By Summer?

Thanks to our paranoid Founding Fathers and their precious states’ rights, four states were able to preserve legalized sports betting before the federal government made it illegal in 1992: Nevada, Montana and Oregon — which already have bookmaking — and little, unassuming Delaware.

Delaware

With an new governor, Delaware has a new outlook on life, and legalized sports wagering is a big part of their future. So, will the First State ever be more than a cheap place to buy cigarettes or 20 minutes of highway between New York and D.C.?

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Canseco Not Enough Juice; KO’d in First Round

It took years for Jose Canseco take down the sport of baseball with his tell-all book, Juiced. It took just seconds for Canseco to be taken down by former NFL return man Vai Sikahema in Saturday night’s celebrity boxing match in Atlantic City.

Jose Canseco gets dropped by Vai Sikahema

The baseball slugger turned prolific author turned guy who will show up wherever there’s a check to be given out spent nearly as much time on the mat as he did on his feet. THE PRESS OF ATLANTIC CITY reports “The 5-foot-9 Sikahema, 45, swarmed all over the 6-4 Canseco, 44, as soon as the opening bell sounded. He knocked Canseco down twice before the fight was stopped.”

(Video highlights of the fight appear after the jump.) Read more…

Bootleg M&M Roast Video - Ditka D*ck Joke Fun!

We earlier told you about the saucy shenanigans going on at the Mike & Mike Celebrity Roast. Now, SMALL WHITE BALL has uncovered some video evidence of what went down in Atlantic City last Friday.

The bootleg clip features shaky & unfocused footage of Jeffrey Ross’ opening monologue. Despite the visual problems, you can hear Ross getting off some quality zingers - especially aimed at Mike Ditka, who’s sitting right next to him:

Mike & Mike Roast Ditka Arrow

(NSFW Video after the jump)

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Dolphins LB Joey Porter Heckled By Eagles Fans At Atlantic City Casino

EAGLES FANS GAMBLE ON PESTERING PORTER IN NJ CASINO: A couple of Eagles fans in Atlantic City took a gamble on starting something with Joey Porter:

Joey Porter Dolphins

The PHILADELPHIA DAILY NEWS spins the news that the Miami linebacker was at the Borgata casino, trying to do something his Dolphins team couldn’t this season - win. While at the craps table, Porter began taking crap from the Eagles fans.Before anything could escalate, Porter’s bodyguards and casino security stepped in to stop the shenanigans.


Those Iggles fans should know enough to tread lightly around Porter when inside a gambling establishment. Just ask Levi Jones.