NBA To Get “Re-Ostertagged”? (Is That A Word?)

Quick: who’s #4 on the Utah Jazz’s all-time list of most games played? It goes John Stockton, Kark Malone, Mark Eaton, and… well, you probably already read the headline and figured it out. It’s one of the largest, slowest players in NBA history: the one, the only Greg Ostertag!

Arvydas Sabonis Greg Ostertag
(Awww, why are the glacial white guys playing against each other? They should be teaming up! When are we going to stop doing this to each other?)

We bring him up not because we merely like celebrating the dinosaurs of the league - though we do enjoy that - but because the Ostertag Era may not be over just yet. Despite not having played in years (and not having been especially productive while actually playing), Ostertag’s got his eyes on a comeback, right in his native land of Texas.

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“Arvydas Sabonis Look-Alike Sperm”: Want Some?

For those who have problems with the traditional methods of producing babies - waiting for the stork, as we understand it, since all bloggers are virgins - there’s always the option of using a sperm bank.

Arvydas Sabonis baby
(So cute, SO CUUUUUUTE!)

Now, most people wouldn’t trust their ovaries to just any random babyjuice, so the donors are subjected to rigorous testing and profiling (frankly, we’d think “would j/o into a paper cup for money” would be one hell of a disqualifier, but desperation is a powerful force). But then, of course, there’s also looks. And if you’re going to raise someone else’s sperm… don’t you want it to look like someone famous?

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