NFL Lineman Sorry For Showering On The Internet

The lead story in the sports section of the ARIZONA REPUBLIC Tuesday wasn’t the Lakers and Suns in the Western Conference Finals of the NBA playoffs. No, the top of column one was occupied by Arizona Cardinals lineman Darnell Dockett apologizing for showering while he was seen on an internet webcam last week.

Darnell Dockett Showers Nude On UStream

(Finally found a worthwhile Arizona boycott)

Last Friday morning I uncovered the shudder-worthy details, which the Republic’s Kent Somers reports today led to Dockett apologizing to every single one of his Cardinals teammate. (Hey D.D., what about the rest of us?) Read more…

UScream: NFL Lineman Showers Live On Internet

Defensive Lineman Darnell Dockett of the Arizona Cardinals Tweeted yesterday:

Darnell Dockett Showers Nude On UStream

Ok so I just got a $1k = A stack BET that I wouldn’t take a shower on ustream lol ok soo as soon as I see the money its On ” NO MEN ALLOWED”

So there’s someone out there who offered an NFL defensive lineman $1,000 cash to shower live on the internet?

Just wanted to get that straight.

Did someone actually offer Darnell Dockett $1,000 To Shower Live On The Internet?

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Images are not safe for work if you click through. You’ve been warned. *shudder*

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Kurt Warner Son’s Summer Coiffure Is Spectacular

Kurt Warner Tweeted this photo today of his son Elijah’s sweet haircut:

Elijah Warner Mohawk Wears Fitzgerald Jersey Over Dad Kurt Warner's jersey

So when does he drop Johnny Rotten for L-Fitz’s Marley?

Arizona Cardinal’s Safety Is a Famous Girlfriend?

Arizona Cardinals safety Kerry Rhodes to the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS about his dating life: “It’s hard to date someone who isn’t living my lifestyle - they don’t understand what comes with the job.

Kerry Rhodes Wants a Famous Girlfriend

Having a girlfriend in the spotlight, like Reggie Bush did with [ex-girlfriend] Kim Kardashian, would actually be a pretty ideal situation for me.Read more…

Welcome To Another Edition Of Ask Doc Darnell!

Thanks to the wonderment of Twitter.com’s ‘Retweet’ technology, the public is now privileged the wit and wisdom of Arizona Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett.

Ask Doc Darnell - Darnell Dockett's wit and wisdom on Twitter

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Ladies, if you’ve got a health, beauty or relationship question, this is your lucky day.

Ask Doc Darnell - Darnell Dockett's wit and wisdom on Twitter

The doctor is in!

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Ask Doc Darnell - Darnell Dockett's wit and wisdom on Twitter

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Read more…

Or If Matt Leinart Is The Next Underwear Bomber

Great find by Rick Chandler at NBCSports.com from Fanster.com: the “Arizona Cardinals Bandwagon Emergency Exit Instruction Guide“:

Arizona Cardinals Bandwagon Emergency Exit Instruction Guide

The card is in reference to Cardinals QB Kurt Warner’s press conference Friday in which he’s expected, at least by some in the media, to retire from the team.

As a lifelong Chiefs fan from Kansas City, I’m happy to report that we also have our own guide to exiting the team’s bandwagon, though “emergency” doesn’t apply.

Claim: NFLer Sex Assault On Transgender Woman

Leo Standora and Alison Gendar of the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS report:

Eric Green

A transgender New Yorker has filed a $10 million sex assault suit against an NFL player - and in a separate action is also suing the city, saying she was abused and humiliated by cops. Angelina Mavilia’s legal action against San Francisco 49ers cornerback Eric Green alleges he forcibly sodomized her.

The assault allegedly took place after the two met in a Phoenix-area last year, when Green was still a member of the Arizona Cardinals.

Read more…

Arizona Cardinal May Regret That Wedding Cake

ESSENCE magazine reports Arizona Cardinal Matt Ware recently got married. The mag posted plenty of gorgeous photos of the wedding, but the theme of the wedding cake?

Arizona Cardinals Wedding Cake Matt Ware Marriage

(Oh hell nah)

Unfortunate.

Then again, if Mrs. Ware was down for that, Matt certainly has himself a kept woman. Salut!

Tommie Harris Apologizes To Team, Right Hand

Vaughn McClure of the CHICAGO TRIBUNE has Tommie Harris’ inevitable shaming in the aftermath of his decision to punch Cardinals guard Deuce Lutui helmet head yesterday.

Chicago Bears Tommie Harris Punches Deuce Lutui In The Helmet

(Harris knew just where Lutui’s weakness was: His hard plastic shell)

Harris: “Yes, I felt like I hurt my team. I just want to apologize to my fans, first off (and) the little kids out there that saw that action, that I behaved in that manner. I apologize to my teammates. … I’ll make up for it.”

How? By using 8-ounce gloves next time?

Video of his assault on the prone Lutui after the jump.

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Speed Read: Overrated, Clap Clap, Clap Clap Clap

Because no battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools. - William Faulker, “The Sound and the Fury”

That was written by Mississippi’s “greatest author,” who I also thought was kind of overrated. Which, it turns out, could easily apply on multiple levels to the Ole Miss football team. On a national stage and with a No. 4 ranking, the Rebels completely imploded, falling 16-10 at South Carolina last night. It may or may not be true that no battle is ever won, but for Ole Miss, this one was certainly lost.

Moe Brown of South Carolina

Mainly it was lost for two reasons: QB Jevan Snead had a miserable game, going 7 for 21 for 107 yards while being pressured by the Gamecocks’ defense all night. And Houston Nutt’s game plan reminded you of why he was barely a .500 coach with a backfield of Felix Jones and Darren McFadden at Arkansas. Nutt seemed unable to accept that the passing game just wasn’t working, and waited until the fourth quarter to turn to running back Dexter McLuster. He ran for 68 yards in the final quarter, but by then it was too little, too late. Read more…