Amanda Beard Is Officially Not Going To Date You

I hate to break your heart in the wake of Valentine’s Day, but there’s one less hot athlete out there for you to have unrealistic dreams of some day landing.

Amanda Beard

(Sorry, guys - Amanda’s off the market)

Amanda Beard, role model to women and lust object to men, is adding an engagement ring to go with her seven Olympic medals. I’m guessing there won’t be any more Playboy shoots now. Let’s revisit the glory days, after the jump.

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Amanda Beard Playboy Nude Photos Hit The Web

OLY SWIMMER AMANDA BEARD PLAYBOY PHOTOS SURFACE: The new Amanda Beard nude PLAYBOY photos have officially wildfired the internet. Here’s a highly-edited, cursory glance:

Amanda Beard Playboy photos

Of course, Beard is in prime condition - as she must’ve consulted Hooters bikini contest participants on their three-week bread and water-diet before the shoot.

Amanda Beard Playboy photos

And though makeup mashup and photoshopping is of course prevalent, these might be the first PLAYBOY photos I have an affinity for since Pauly Shore was last seen offering controlled substances refreshing mints to Mansion guests on a tray.

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