Amanda Beard Gets Hitched - Gets Pregnant, Too

Amanda Beard has accomplished a lot in her life. Olympic swimming champ. Nude Playboy model. Nude PETA spokesperson. Resistor of Michael Phelps’ charms (which can’t be said for Caroline Pal, Carrie Prejean, Stephanie Rice & Theresa White).

Amanda Beard bikini

And now Amanda can add two more notable achievements to her already impressive resume - wife & expecting mother. For you see, Ms. Beard spent her May Day tying the knot with Sacha Brown, her photographer boyfriend & wedgie wizard who proposed to her on Christmas morning. The ceremony was reportedly a low-key affair, mainly because most of the attendees didn’t have much to say - because they couldn’t speak English.

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Amanda Beard Is Officially Not Going To Date You

I hate to break your heart in the wake of Valentine’s Day, but there’s one less hot athlete out there for you to have unrealistic dreams of some day landing.

Amanda Beard

(Sorry, guys - Amanda’s off the market)

Amanda Beard, role model to women and lust object to men, is adding an engagement ring to go with her seven Olympic medals. I’m guessing there won’t be any more Playboy shoots now. Let’s revisit the glory days, after the jump.

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Speed Read: Tar Heels Roll In Empty Ford Field

You know, at this rate the college basketball season isn’t going to be very interesting. North Carolina has now won each of its eight games by at least 15 points, and absolutely crushed Michigan State at Ford Field last night, 98-63, giving the Heels one more win in that venue than the Lions this year. The stadium will host the Final Four in just under four months, but was a morgue for this game. There were about 70,000 tickets available, but the announced attendance was only 25,267. Hardly seems worth it now to move the game to Detroit when a rocking Breslin Center might’ve at least given MSU a fighting chance.

UNC-MSU game nobody there

As for the Tar Heels, with Tyler Hansbrough getting healthier, they’re as close to unbeatable as any college basketball team this decade. Their two games with Duke might be the only games they play this year with a single-digit point spread.

UNC’s win helped the ACC win the ACC-Big Ten Challenge for the 10th consecutive year, but this was the closest the midwesterners have come to pulling it off with the final tally being 6-5. Clemson and Boston College won their games by just two points each over Illinois and Iowa, respectively. And, of all things, both Northwestern and Penn State won their games.

ACC Big Ten

Good to see that the Knicks are getting back to their old ways. LeBron and the Cavs blasted New York 118-82 to move to 10-0 at home and 15-3 overall. And looking at the schedule over the next month, it wouldn’t be shocking to see Cleveland sitting at 27-6 when they face the Celtics on January 9th. The Cavs are winning games so handily that James hasn’t even played in the fourth quarter of four of the last five games.

The dream matchup of undefeated Ball State (provided they beat Buffalo this week) and undefeated Boise State is not going to happen, according to ESPN. The Cardinals would’ve had to bail on their MAC bowl commitments and agree to play the Broncos in the Humanitarian Bowl in Boise. But they didn’t want to do that and now are either going to Detroit or Mobile. Boise State, on the other hand, looks like they’ll take on a very good TCU team in the Poinsettia Bowl.

Boise State Ball State

• According to TMZ, Amanda Beard filed a lawsuit yesterday claiming that a tanning salon company in Florida called ProSun has posted pictures of her on their site without permission, which she says insinuates that she endorses the company. No, this isn’t one of the offending pictures:

Amanda Beard

But, apparently this is:

Amanda Beard

This photo is one of many pictures of celebrities who were on hand at some sort of event at which ProSun was showing off a shower that also acts as a tanning bed. Also pictured are such sports heavyweights as Rodney Peete and Shaun Livingston. I suppose the photo makes it seem as if Beard endorses the product, but this is really the only offending material I could find on ProSun’s site.

• So, Barry Melrose leaves ESPN to coach in the NHL and the world’s economy goes in the tank. Luckily, Barry got fired by the Lightning so he could get re-hired by the WWL, according to the DALLAS MORNING NEWS.  All is now right with the world. Thanks for playing, Matthew Barnaby.

• OURSPORTSCENTRAL says the Golden Baseball League is offering Rickey Henderson $1 million if he chooses to go into the Hall of Fame as a San Diego Surf Dawg. Seriously.

• West Virginia’s going to wear white uniforms at home this weekend against South Florida says the CHARLESTON GAZETTE, which is against the rules or something. But USF is playing along and wearing their green unis, so nobody’s going to be losing timeouts like USC.

• This might just be the worst soccer dive ever taken. And that’s saying something, considering it’s soccer and all. FAN NATION brings us this one. Really, this is just spectacular in its idiocy, and the ref has the gall to reward him for it:

• Ever been up in the top deck of a sports arena and been worried that you’d trip down the stairs and fall over the railing? Well, it happened to a guy carrying two beers back to his seat at an Ottawa Senators game last night. According to NBC SPORTS, the guy tripped over a purse and fell 25 feet to the next level. But he never lost consciousness and just had cuts and bruises. He fell on two people, who were also not seriously injured.

• In other beer news, the AP says that Aramark settled a lawsuit with the family of a paralyzed girl for $26 million for continuing to serve a drunk fan at a New York Giants game. The drunk fan then got into a car accident that paralyzed the girl.

• CNN says O.J. Simpson’s lawyer is arguing that the Juice should get only 6 years in prison, instead of the recommended 18 years, for his role in the memorabilia debacle. The reason: he’s a “first-time offender.”

• THE SPORTING BLOG’s Spencer Hall has some ideas about what Auburn should do now that Tommy Tuberville got fired or resigned or whatever.

• Alcorn State’s athletic director fired seven of the school’s nine assistant football coaches…on Thanksgiving…without telling the team’s head coach, who found out on the news. Classy. The NATCHEZ DEMOCRAT has the details (thanks to SPORTING BLOG for the tip)

Pro soccer is not doing well in China, so says the GUARDIAN.

How many games will North Carolina lose this year?

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Michael Phelps’ New Mystery Ladyfriend Revealed

The world was abuzz on Thursday when it was first reported by Vegas insider Norm Clarke - who awesomely wears an eye-patch - that Michael Phelps’ new ladyfriend is a 26-year-old cocktail waitress. But we all wanted, nay needed, to know the same thing: What does she look like? Well folks, the wait is over. Here she is, flashing some stone cold street hand signs:

Caz Pal, 1

The girl in question is a Miss CarolineCaz” Pal. She attended Cal State Northridge, works as a cocktail server at the Moon nightclub in the Palms, and, from the looks of things, is trying to get some kind of career in modeling or something. Oh yeah, and her back is totally covered in tattoos.

Photos, obviously, are after the jump.

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Phelps Bucks Beard, Reportedly Randy With Rice

• Who needs Amanda Beard, when Michael Phelps has Aussie swimmer Stephanie Rice to sizzle over.

Stephanie Rice Michael Phelps

• Did Tiki Barber call his MSNBC colleague an Olympic-sized swear word?

• Penn State and Coastal Carolina actually match up pretty well on paper - if that paper is a rap sheet.

• Help Peyton Manning realize his dream of Olympic gold medal glory.

• Could Usain Bolt make in the NFL? We don’t know, but Mike Leach would like the Jamaican sprinter to try Big 12 football first.

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Michael Phelps & Stephanie Rice, Sitting In A Tree

A few days ago former gold medalist swimmer and nude fuzzy little creature activist Amanda Beard wanted everybody to know that she wasn’t interested in dating super human swimmer Michael Phelps. I believe her exact words were “Eww, no!” (Now we know why she has to pose nude for PETA instead of speaking for them.) Well, Michael doesn’t seem to be too heartbroken over the incident.

Michael Phelps Stephanie Rice

Not only did he find out recently that Lindsay Lohan thinks he’s amazing and wants to “hang out” with him, but he’s also found himself another swimmer to make out with. Phelps has been seen spending a lot of time with Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice, and by spending a lot of time with, I mean ramming his tongue down her throat.

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Phelps Not The Aqua Object of Amanda’s Affection

Michael Phelps apparently needs to work on his social skills & wardrobe.

Michael Phelps Amanda Beard

No wonder Amanda Beard doesn’t want him.

• An Orlando artist bluffs a local magazine into believing that he used to play for the New York Yankees.

• Any Hollywood film studios want to help blow up Texas Stadium?

Hideki Irabu may have beaten up a bartender after chugging down 20 beers, but he did pay his bar tab.

• One CFL coach is a cut above the rest - since he uses a knife at practice.

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Amanda Beard On Phelps Prospects: “Ewww, No!”

Remember those rumors that Amanda Beard was romantically linked to Ocho Oros himself, Michael Phelps? Consider them squashed. Phelps flatly denied them, while Beard went a step further, basically acting like the high school prom queen when asked if she made out with the president of the A/V Club.

Michael Phelps Amanda Beard

MSNBC.COM reports that Beard was a guest on something called “The Johnjay and Rich Show” (which undoubtedly involves some sort of “zany morning zoo crew”), and was asked about the romantic reports.

Her response? “Ewww, no!

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Michael Phelps is Certainly Popular with the Ladies

• Now that he’s the flavor of the month, Michael Phelps apparently has his choice of lady companionship - Amanda Beard, model Lily Donaldson, or even Lindsay Lohan.

Michael Phelps shows off his abs

• Chinese citizens aren’t so smitten with their super-sized Shaq statue.

• The Bengals may bring back Chris Henry. Because everyone deserved a sixth chance.

David Stern wants to bring an NBA league to China. Well, as long as the players don’t pose like this.

• A college hoopster for Cal Poly gets caught trying to knock off a Wisconsin bank.

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Olympians Using More Condoms Than We Thought

Maybe it’s the lack of a viable internet connection in Beijing, but it seems there’s been a veritable cloud of mystery surrounding the most important Olympic issue of 2008: How many freaking condoms are getting handed out?

Olympic Condoms

It’s what we all want to know, and fortunately Mike Hayes at STEADY-BURN wraps it up succinctly with the news that it was not 100,000 as originally thought, but actually almost a half million condoms distributed in Olympic village. Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

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