With Joe Jack Buck’s passing, there’s probably no more revered man in the St. Louis baseball scene than Stan Musial. “Stan The Man,” you may recall, is the Cardinals’ franchise leader for home runs with 475, and he was named to a jaw-dropping 24 All-Star Games (they named him to one in 1997 after a clerical error, and he went 2-3 with a double and 3 RBI).
Musial’s also 88, and there’s discussion that his health is on the decline. This year’s All-Star Game, then, was the “last, best hope” for a proper send-off for the Cardinals legend - a laWillie Mays in San Francisco back in 2007. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the real VIP in the house.
By most standards, the 2009 All-Star Game in St. Louis was a success. City leaders were falling all over themselves in praise, because that’s what they’re supposed to do any time an event comes to town [it’s called being gracious. try it sometime.–ed].
(The Lothario himself, planning seating capacity for all his daughters.)
But above all else, the entire undertaking is simply a logistical nightmare, one that demands constant attention from multiple levels of suits. One of those suits, predictably, was Bill DeWitt, president of the St. Louis Cardinals. But his quote about the 3-day gala may have revealed a deep, dark secret about his personal life.
The 58th All-Star game is in the books, and the West absolutely destroyed the East, 146-117. At one point, it was 20-8 in favor of the East All-Stars before Kobe Bryant led the West on a 19-0 run, and the Westies never looked back. It’s hard to imagine what was the better Shaquille O’Neal highlight: going between Dwight Howard’s legs for the give-and-go with Chris Paul, or the entrance with that “Jabbawockeez” dance group that’s inexplicably* all over the TV these days. Here’s that intro (thanks, BALL DON’T LIE).
Shaq and Kobe shared the MVP award, which seemed fitting. Kobe tossed in the most points on the night (27), which is usually an automatic win, but Shaq was both far more efficient (17 points on 8-9 shooting in only 11 minutes) and entertaining; this might be the Big Aristotle’s last All-Star game, so he made it count last night.
At some point, with all the ACC losses piling up, you’d think it would no longer be fun or newsworthy to point out another Duke loss. You’d think that, but you’d be very wrong. After having their asses handed to them by UNC last week, the Blue Devils went to the Silvio O. Conte Forum to face a Boston College team that hadn’t beaten Duke in 24 years. Bounce back for the Blue Devils against an unrated BC team?
Err, not exactly. Duke led 37-32 at the break, but the Golden Eagles came alive in the second half, ringing up 48 points in those 20 minutes against the vaunted Blue Devil defense. Senior leader Tyrese Rice drops 21, 6, and 6, Joe Trapani chips in 20 more, 80-74 is your final, and Duke is now 7-4 in the ACC. Dick Vitale must be inconsolable.
Let’s say you find yourself in the middle of Scotland with a dildo in my mouth. I mean your mouth. Anyway, let’s move on. Stuart Slann, a married 39-year-old Manchester United fan from Sheffield (this is all in England, in case you couldn’t tell), met “Emma,” a sexy babe who was also a ManU fan on Facebook, and the two hit it off. One problem: Emma, as you’ve already guessed, did not and does not actually exist, but Stuart didn’t find that out until driving 400 miles north and receiving a rather unfortunate phone call. Oh, and as we mentioned before, Emma really wanted to see a dildo in Slann’s mouth, so now… whoops.
(This image is in no way modified to remove the sex toy. He was just eating corn. That’s all.)
UNPROFESSIONAL FOUL has the uncensored video, which is just basically some text, 2 minutes of the uncensored version of the picture above, and - as far as we can tell - rampant profanity (they’re Scottish, so who can tell). As you can guess, Slann’s wife wasn’t very pleased, and the two have now split. Oof. This never happens to Pompey fans. Just sayin’.
Marshawn Lynch faces felony gun charges after police found a loaded handgun in his car. Honestly, as long as he’s not shooting a bouncer at a strip club or shooting himself in the leg, I think the NFL’s making progress here. They might even be gun-free by 204never.
According to the CEDAR RAPIDS GAZETTE, former Iowa State head coach and current national champion Florida assistant coach Dan McCarney’s daughter was arrested for assaulting a police officer in Iowa City. The details, which include the ever-popular “MY LAST NAME IS MCCARNEY,” are golden.
You know why the dunk contest sucked this year? No Guy Dupuy, who’s probably the most vicious dunking Frenchman in history (can we get him to posterize Frederic Weis? Wouldn’t that be fitting?). Make that happen in 2010, NBA. Even T.O. knows it’s over.
Until today, the Shoe Wars were always a metaphor. After all, it’s not like people were literally killed for wearing Nike or Reebok kicks. Or for stompin’ in their A-di-das for that matter. Well, now the shoemakers really have begotten violence, with Cleveland-area rapper Kid Cudi getting himself tasered, according to the blog FAKE TALK, at the All-Star Reebok party on Friday … for trying to wear Jordan brand sneakers on stage.
(The first taser victim on NBA All-Star Weekend: Kid Cudi!)
That’s right, not only is there a rapper named Kid Cudi, he’s dumb enough to think Reebok executives would be cool with him rapping on stage at their party with signature sneakers made by their biggest market competitor. Not a smart cat.