Carson Palmer: ‘Somebody Is Going To Die In NFL’

So Peter King has been sitting on this pretty provocative quote for nearly two months, waiting until the week before he NFL regular season to roll it out. Hey, in sports journalism, timing is everything. Our speaker is Carson Palmer, and the subject is NFL defenses, and how dangerous it’s getting out there on the field.

Carson Palmer

Palmer: “The truth of the matter is … somebody is going to die here in the NFL. It’s going to happen.” Yikes. Read more…

Jordan & The Giant Inflatable Penis: Another View

Another dramatic photo of the brazen Michael Jordan giant inflatable penis attack has crossed our desk, and we share it with you now. Mothers, please cover the computer screen with a dish towel.

Michael Jordan

Yes Michael, I would cower too if I saw that coming at me. Our contact is Elizabeth, and I’m not sure if that’s her wielding the giant penis, or if she was taking the picture. Anyway, she writes: Read more…

Michael Jordan Inflatable Penis Girl Tells Her Story

First of all, I can only imagine what Osama bin Laden thought when he turned on the TV in his cave to watch a little golf, and saw a woman running toward Michael Jordan while waving a giant, polyurethane penis. The terrorists hate us for our inflatable plastic sex toys. Anyway, now the girl who crashed NBC’s coverage of the American Century Celebrity Championship golf tourney with a giant private body part over the weekend is telling all.

Her name is Elizabeth, and she and some friends were at Lake Tahoe for a bachelorette party. They rented a boat to check out the golf tourney, and the rest is inflatable penis history. Her story below. Key quote: “Harbor police comes up the to 5 boat barge and tells the girls that ‘they might as well have a sign that says stupid bachelorette party’ and that we are all ’stupid dumb girls’ all becuz of the inflatable penis.”

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Michael Jordan And The Gigantic Inflatable Penis

You never really know what’s going to happen on the 17th at Edgewood Tahoe when the American Century Celebrity Championship is in town. The fairway runs right along the lake, which means anyone with a boat can anchor right off the beach and watch for free. Many hop off their boats and watch up close, which probably explains the man on Sunday who got into the NBC camera’s shot of Michael Jordan while holding a giant inflatable penis. I doubt that they would have let him through the main gate with that thing.

Michael Jordan Tahoe Celebrity Golf

Unless … he snuck it in delfated in his pants or something. That conjurs the comical image of a man somewhere on the course blowing up an inflatable penis (”Is it getting bigger?”) as horrified onlookers walk past. No, has to be a boat person. In my opinion, sporting events need more giant inflatable penises, and the NBC commentators seem to agree. Video following the jump.

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