‘Accidental Nudity Football League’ Much Catchier

TheSmokingGun.com has a delightful update on Mitch Mortaza, the former Blind Date contestant (RAZOR!) attempting to maintain personal access to semi-nude hotties keep the Lingerie Football League afloat.

Lingerie Football League Accidental Nudity

TSG, which notes Mortaza as having a “rap sheet (that) includes drunk driving and public intoxication arrests,” has “repeatedly threatened legal action when players have complained (or simply inquired) about health coverage and wages.

Mitch Mortaza On Blind Date

(Mortaza: Football League Commissioner, Toe Ring Fetishist)

Sample of Mortaza’s subtle, legal approach: “Simply SHUT UP and play football.

Now I was always under the impression that the only reason the Lingerie League existed was as Mortaza’s own personal dating service. But I was wrong. Thanks to a standard player contract obtained by TSG, turns out the league really exists for one reason only: “Accidental Nudity.”

Lingerie Football League Accidental Nudity

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‘Postponed’ Game The End For Lingerie Football?

If you followed my coverage of the Lingerie Football League, you know that the entire concept was invented by founder (and Blind Date refugee) Mitch Mortaza to help him meet women. That’s what’s made the main media’s serious coverage of the sport so amusing and somewhat perplexing over the years. But sadly, the chance for reporters to score wardrobe malfunction watch appears to finally be coming to an end.

Lingerie Football League Michelle Sotak From Behind

(Lingerie Football End Near? Yes please.)

Last Tuesday the game between the Chicago Bliss and the New York Majesty was “postponed” for six(!) weeks because of “issues with New York’s facility.”

Lingerie Football League $272 for two tickets?!

(Ticket sales ($272 for two!), or lack thereof to blame for postponement?)

Will you miss Lingerie Football?

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Lingerie Bowl Founder Dude Loves His Toe Rings

I’m the first to admit that I’ve used SbB as a vehicle over the years to meet hot girls. Overused is more like it. But I’m put to shame by a guy named Mitch Mortaza.

Mitch Mortaza On Blind Date

(Before They Were Famous: Geico caveman on Blind Date!)

Mortaza, who claims to run a full-fledged Hollywood talent agency that looks more like an empty storefront, is the man who created lingerie football. The initial game, in 2004, was sold as pay-per-view event opposite Super Bowl halftime, and thanks to an insane amount of media coverage, you probably remember it. (But if you actually paid to see the *game*, you’d most like to forget it.)

In the run up to that first event, provocative ads fished for PPV buys by depicting the girls in outfits right off the Spearmint Rhino rack. But the actual production turned out to be women flailing around a football field wearing undergarments that looked more Lane Bryant than lustful football fairy. (We’ll have to settle for Jeff Reed instead.)

Mitch Mortaza Lingerie Bowl Fake Outfits

(Kickoff promo: Fans get free postgame one-way mirror tokens?)

More recently, Mortaza has made subsequent, unsuccessful attempts to stage more *games* and even gone so far as to propose a lingerie football league. If you read this site, you’ve probably seen all the gratuitous local news footage of tryouts for the league around the country. (Like I’m complaining.)

I have though done my best to ignore the whole thing, as Mortaza appeared to me as just another shameless publicity hound hawking a fake product. That is, until I saw him on CNBC this week selling his concept as a legitimate business and claiming that NFL owners wanted to buy into his *league*. (OK, maybe Jer is interested.)

Will the Lingerie Football League Ever Play A Game?

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That had me wondering why Mortaza continues to push his failed venture year after year. What could possibly be driving him in his ultimately futile quest? Doesn’t Mortaza have any respect for himself?

Actually, no. Just google him.

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