Strahan Enters Three-Point Stance In Divorce Suit

Well over a year ago you may remember Giants defensive tackle Michael Strahan getting his financially cut-blocked by ex-wife Jean Strahan to the tune of over $15 million plus child support. This was viewed by his lawyers as unreasonably high, even given the above-average amount of athlete off-the-field dickbaggery. (If you forget the details, then remember yourself, kind soul.)

Michael Strahan vs. wife

Now Strahan is fighting back in the appeals process, according to the NEWARK STAR-LEDGER, (who’ve never steered me wrong before on proceedings of Strahan’s divorce). He’s ready to try and blitz last year’s ruling, getting some of that money back and placing it into a … wait for the pun … sack.

Strahan’s lawyer Ellen Marshall said when the judge ruled last year for the $15 million, he was trying to “penalize him, essentially, for not creating the 20 percent allocation” that was agreed upon in a pre-nup. This makes sense. He should have set aside 20 percent of his scrilla during the marriage, so add it up and give it to her. If that number’s less than $15 million, then let’s even it out, shall we?

(Unless, of course, there’s a Being A Dick Athlete Clause in divorce court law that entitles the ex-wife to more money. I’m no lawyer, but if that’s a legal precedent, then why not also invoke the Knowing What One Gets Into When Wedding An Athlete Corollary?)

Certainly his motivation has changed since his Giants won a Super Bowl. Now he’s thinking of retiring, while others are saying he has to retire, and Strahan like to have, y’know, some money left over to afford some remnant of a posh lifestyle he once enjoyed.

The moral: divorces are extremely fun to watch when they’re not yours.