YES, KU VS. MU WILL BE A ZOO, BUT WE AREN’T ANIMALS: We’re back in our hometown to get set for the KU-MU game Saturday here in Cowtown. And based on the weather, we thank god for hollowed-out walking canes and Hennessy.

The rivalry, despite two perennially horrible teams, is remarkably intense and compares favorably with others that we’ve experienced personally (OSU-UM, UF-UGA, USC-UCLA, Clemson-USC). But some of the things we’ve been reading this week about the contemporary conflict between the schools (and states) is downright ridiculous and completely untrue.

We grew up and lived in KC, smack between the two schools. We never, EVER heard someone mention anything about slave state-this or Jayhawk-rape-that. We’re sure the folks in KSMO would like to think that this is the most important sporting event the Western Hemisphere has witnessed since the Royals absolutely trounced the Redbirds in the ‘85 World Series (thank you, Jack Clark!), but it isn’t. But you wouldn’t know that by following media accounts this week authored by Missouri and Kansas carpetbaggers.What Saturday really is, is an opportunity for Cowtown to bask in the ever-fleeting national spotlight. On the sports importance scale, Kansas City is a long-forgotten land, no matter how loud the local media yells and screams. And it isn’t getting better, thanks to a baseball team with a pauper for an owner, a football team with incompetent creton at the top and a future (minor league) NHL team in the town’s gleaming new arena. Woo-hoo!

Yes, we hate to admit that our hometown is now fly-over ground for the sports world, but at least we’ll have four hours to sun ourselves in the light of high profile athletic endeavor on Saturday. Not to mention the chance to fawn over postgame fatties from KU and MU at Kelly’s in Westport.