Shawne Merriman Popped For Choking Tila Tequila

Every now and then, you see a headline that pairs two famous people of such incongruous worlds that it takes two or three good looks at it before it even starts to make sense. Add in an arrest for assault, though, and all minds are blown.

Shawne Merriman Tila Tequila

(A match made in… well, it’s definitely not heaven.)

That’s where we are with the news out of San Diego today as Shawne Merriman, he of the ever-sunny disposition, just got arrested early this morning for battery and false imprisonment in a case involving Myspace’s very first starlet, Tila “Tequila” Nguyen. Seriously, that happened.

First, the cold facts from NBC SAN DIEGO:

San Diego Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman was arrested early Sunday on suspicion of choking and restraining television reality show hostess and model Tila “Tequila” Nguyen, according to deputies.They got the call at 3:45 a.m. on Sunday from a woman who claimed to have been choked and restrained by a male at a home on Sagecrest Drive in Poway.“Nguyen told deputies she had been choked and physically restrained by Merriman when she attempted to leave his residence,” Public Information Officer Jan Caldwell said.

If that’s true, then Roger Goodell is probably going to be unhappy. And when Roger Goodell is unhappy, people die. Or get suspended for unholy amounts of time, whatever.We didn’t even know the two were an item, though that’s probably because we weren’t paying close enough attention; just a couple days ago, Tila was bragging on Twitter about going to the Chargers’ exhbition against the 49ers with Merriman. Observe:

Dman im drunk!!!!!!! Im headed to this Chargers VS 49ers game right now!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYY!!!!!! @shawnemerriman u ready?? LETS GOOOOO! =)7:21 PM Sep 4th from web

Merriman dutifully retweeted her a couple times. Then yesterday, something odd:

Whats the name of the college player who went nuts for boise?/LaGarrett Blount LB Oregon WOW a sucker punch?/My bad a running back but he punched him like a LB/I want to punch a bunch of guys but i would never risk getting suspended and fined i love my $/But you have to admit he rocked him with that overhand right and he did the stanky leg before he fell

Yes, Merriman freely admits that were it not for greed, he’d be punching people on the field, then goes on to celebrate it (full disclosure: we kinda celebrated it when we saw it too, but we’re not NFL players).Anyway, the rest of this story has yet to come out, seeing as how this is all based off a police report and one person’s statements. If Nguyen was doing Merriman wrong, we wouldn’t have any indication just yet. So a little restraint might be prudent.But at the same time, this is hardly incompatible with Merriman’s volatile personality, and a noted attention hound like Nguyen might be exactly what it takes to raise Merriman’s ire past the boiling point - especially at 3:45 am, when sober people are long since asleep.Also, that’s one more strike for athletes using Twitter. The count is now zero balls and like 40 strikes.