Seth Davis Masturbation Expertise Goes To Waste On CBS Basketball Broadcasts

SETH BEATS OFF CRITICS DESPITE NO HOOPS CREDENTIALS: Seth Davis is one of the mainstays of CBS’ college basketball coverage, with a coveted spot in the main studio as an analyst, along with Greg Gumbel and Clark Kellogg.

Seth Davis Summer Camp

With that role and his gig as SPORTS ILLUSTRATED’s lead basketball writer, I took some time this week to look into the basketball credentials that elevated Davis to his rarefied position in the hotly competitive basketball media.I’m still looking.

The facts: Davis attended Duke, where he did not play basketball. After college, he was a sportswriter in New Haven, CT., for three years before being hired by SI. He’s also apparently dabbled in stand-up comedy (you’d never know that from his performance as CBS panelist).

Seth Davis

So Davis, who is charged with being one of the top two analysts for the biggest basketball event in the world, has no basketball background to speak of. None. Zero. BUT, he was a columnist for the Duke student paper, so maybe that counts for something.He has apparently written a book though (of course, not about basketball). “Equinunk, Tell Your Story: My Return to Summer Camp” looks to be a creepy tale about a 29-year-old Davis participating at Summer Camp with early teens. He did an interview about the book with something called Annabelle Magazine. Highlights:

Q. “One of the campers in 1985 set a record for eating 29 tacos at dinner. What on earth possesses boys to participate in eating and other “Who’s More Macho?” contests?

Seth Davis

Davis: “Actually, it’s worse–that was a counselor. To think, it was his job to take care of young boys for the summer! And that was a pretty benign story. You might recall that during the section on sex and masturbation, I mentioned that years ago a kid won a masturbating contest by finishing himself off in eight seconds. His name was Sammy, and for the rest of the summer the campers cheered “Sammy in Eight!” in the mess hall … “Q. “Based on your camp experiences, what do you think of kids these days? Are they growing up too fast? Or are they the same as they ever were?

Davis: “Kids are definitely much more promiscous now than they were when I was a camper. The girls especially are much more overt about availing themselves for things that I never imagined doing when I was 14 or 15. Of course there’s a part of me (and you can guess which part) that wishes I had that same opportunity at their age … “

Perhaps now we know why the book has a current Amazon.com sales rank of #1,187,355.

Davis’ book was published by something called Chandler House Press. The publishing house’s website is linked at the end of Davis’ columns on SI.com - but the link goes to a page touting “Mom Sex” and “Gays Sex”:

Seth Davis Gay Sex

So based on his non-existent hoops background, you would assume that, at the very least, Davis is a compelling figure in the CBS studio - displaying a sparkling personality and imparting insightful analysis.

Seth Davis YouTube

Well if the only two clips I found of him on YouTube are an indicator, I guess that isn’t the case either.

Seth Davis YouTube

Maybe when Davis gets around to talking about the masturbating habits of Butler, things will get interesting.