Lopez Plays In NBA, Sleeps With Stuffed Animals

For more than a year the world has known of the awkward splendor embodied in the two rather large bodies of the Lopez twins, NBA rookies Brook and Robin. While both are still trying to prove they’re not the latest incarnations of Frederic Weis, they’re rapidly ascending the pantheon of goofy professional athletes.

Robin Lopez sleeps with stuffed animal

So far Brook has kept a relatively low profile in New Jersey, averaging 10 points and seven rebounds per game in relative anonymity, but Robin has been showing flashes of his quirky personality on the Suns sideline, where he has to compete with both Shaquille O’Neal and Steve Nash for comedy minutes, even if he lags far behind the starters in time on the court.

Well, maybe Robin should be getting more face time, as new photos from THE SPORTS CULTURE confirm just how odd a duck he is. Not only does he sleep with a stuffed Minnie Mouse on the team bus, as you can see above, but he’d also love to be a ninja.

In fact, Lopez looks like he’d be happy being a ninja, walrus, Tom Hanks in Big or, perhaps, a donkey? It’s hard to even know where to begin with these shots. A group like this usually belongs to an eight year-old, or at least a recently laid-off Dunkin’ Donuts employee who spent his entire final two paychecks on a huge stash of peyote.

(Got alligator issues? Robin Lopez does.)

Maybe that peyote-popping take on Robin Lopez isn’t as far off as one might think. After all, this is a seven-foot man who considers it a complement to be compared to the Simpsons character Sideshow Bob. In fact, when NEW YORK TIMES reporter Joe Lapointe tried to tie a potential Stanford run in last spring’s NCAA Tournament with the trite, generic “Cinderella” story, Robin was quick to correct him.

“I’ve read some of the original versions; it definitely didn’t originate in Western Europe,” Robin said of the story. “It was Walt Disney’s favorite film. He felt it embodied him the most, the story of rags to riches.”

Maybe there’s a role for him in a Broadway adaption somewhere? They’re making musicals of just about every other Disney flick, so there has to be a straight-up Cinderella at some point. The Lopez twins would probably fit in better there than with the Briar Patch wolf.