Robert Redford as Branch Rickey in ESPN Flick

ESPN Films has thrown its yet-to-be-considerable weight behind an upcoming film for theatrical release about Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey. In an unexpected coup, Robert Redford will play Rickey, the Dodgers general manager responsible for breaking the color line in baseball.

Robert Redford

(We know we were supposed to use a “Natural” pic here, but we’ll take “Three Days of the Condor” over that one any time)

While there’s no word yet on who will play Jackie, we are already digging around on Fandango for advance tickets. After all, how could this not be phenomenal? How could anyone dampen the mood for this combination? Oh, that’s right… ESPN could let a senior VP use business speak to make us want to stab our eyes and ears out with a Buick:

“…this theatrical film was a natural extension for the company which tries to serve sports fans “however they consume sports content.”"

Thanks, ESPN, for taking a wonderful idea and turning it into a bag of crisps. It’s your second-strongest skill after beating an idea so long that it can poured into an empty Elmer’s jar and sold as “environmentally-friendly recycled adhesive”.